Goodbye my almost lover,

Goodbye my hopeless dream.

***

The soft whispers reached Jay's ears as he took in their voices from the hallway. He leaned over and then sat straight up.

Her scent.

Her scent was still in his bed.

He quickly pushed himself away, falling to the floor as he pressed against the wall, holding his breath so he wouldn't taste her.

He shook with the effort to not cry. He hated how weak she had made him. Hated how she had left him open and vulnerable.

Daisy, Daisy, Daisy.

Her name ran through his head over and over.

He looked around the room. There was nothing to show that she had been inside, except her scent. Her scent that would eventually fade away to nothing.

Jay stood up and forced himself to calm down.

He knew this moment was coming. He knew he could love her, but had to leave her wild. That she was not his to begin with.

He opened the door and with surprise found Lewis and Mason on the other side.

"Bro," Lewis said, his voice thick with emotion as he embraced his brother.

Mason watched and patted Jay on the back, embracing him after his brother.

Jay fought back the tears that threatened to escape him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Jackie called us. She told us what happened," Mason looked at Jay with worried eyes, eyes that he didn't want staring at him.

"Jay," Lewis took his brothers shoulder and squeezed it, trying to offer some comfort.

"She...," Jay had to get the words out, "She's gone."

They nodded and led him downstairs, where Lewis fed Jay his famous 'tomato soup.'

Jackie watched with worried eyes as Jay ate two spoonful's before pushing the bowl away.

"It's your favorite though," Lewis protested, pushing the bowl back.

Jay shook his head, giving the soup an odd look.

"It doesn't taste right does it?" Jackie said softly.

Jay looked up at the she wolf and saw a shred of understanding pass through her eyes.

"It tastes like ash in your mouth. Like you'll throw it up at any second?"

Jay nodded, looking at Jackie with weary eyes.

Jackie nodded back and took the soup away.

"I know Alpha. I know what you are going through."

With sudden realization, Jay understood that the she-wolf was the closest who would understand.

"She's not dead," he said, his voice soft as he whispered the words.

Jackie shook her head as she sat down next to Jay, "I think yours is worse. Because she chose to leave. My Trevor had no choice. He was attacked and couldn't defend himself against so many rouge wolfs. He didn't chose to leave me."

Jay glared at Jackie as she spoke her crude words.

"No, he didn't chose it. But fate happens and he is gone. I had a choice of going with him, or continuing my life. And now Alpha, you have that same choice."

Jay shook his head, "I will not harm myself," he muttered.

"No, I don't think you will. I know how strong you are. But it's hard. And you'll want to do nothing. You'll want to think of all the things you could have done. All the things you should have said. I'm here to tell you 'stop.' Don't think."

Jay clung to his chest and looked at Jackie, for the first time showing her how vulnerable he was.

"It hurts," he said, sounding almost like a lost child.

Jackie gave him a grim smile as she patted his hand.

"You take it one second at a time. Then when your able to do that, you take it one minute. One hour. One day. Until you've learned how to breath and what food taste like again. Until you've started to see the color within the world and think music is beautiful to your ears. Until everything stops reminding you of her. You take it one second at a time."

Jay looked down at the full bowl of the red soup.

He closed his eyes and let his brother, friend and Jackie listen and comfort him as he cried.

One second at a time.

(Now I get to put all these sad quotes)

I think there are about....ten more chapters left?

(when not even the writer knows....)

But everything is all written out!

So hang tight my loves for this roller coaster of a ride-

Until next time,

Loves,

/////WORLD_JOY_/////