I didn't want to leave Anna just then but at the same time, I was tired. I wanted the warmth of my bed, and if only I had my way, I wanted Erik in it as well. But for now, the prospect of my bed was good enough for me as I allowed my mother to walk me down the stairs and into my car.

While I was with Anna, Adina had made me a fresh batch of chechebsa, complete with fresh yoghurt she had made the night before. Packed in a plastic container, she handed it to me and made me promise to bring Michael over so she could see him - and if she had her way, spoil him.

What had begun as a terrifying expectation that things would turn out for the worst when I decided to see Anna ended up taking me by surprise. Somehow, the other shoe had not dropped at all, though at the back of my mind, I could feel the fear nagging at me, taunting me, and just waiting to catch me completely unawares.

The drive home took about forty minutes, and I ate every single one of the Ethiopian pancakes Adina made, reserving the yoghurt for when I finally got home. Each bite took me back in time, forgoing the bad to remember only the good days, usually with Adina and her family providing me some comfort whenever Anna was gone - usually for days a time. Sometimes, Roy had to bail her out of jail for solicitation, and once, for vagrancy. Since then, if she did shoot up, she did at home - only she was not just lost to the world, but to me as well.

Still, seeing Anna alive, even with her missing teeth and scarred skin, the yellowish eyes that told me she wasn't telling me whole truth about her health, gave me a huge sense of relief that I could not describe, and I wanted Michael to meet her as soon as possible. I had colored my life's palette with only the darkest shades that life had to offer, without considering that sometimes, people find their way to the light, no matter how long it takes to find it - and that I should at least give her another chance, the way Eunice gave me that chance to a new life when she took me in. It gave me some hope, at least, that things were going to turn out right for Anna as she worked her way to detoxing the drugs from her body.

I would deal with the jaundiced eyes later.

The house was dark when I arrived, and I was relieved to see that Erik was not waiting for me. I didn't know what I was going to say, how I was going to explain why I never said anything about Anna, or my actions in the parking lot when I pretended not to know her. But though I felt relieved at first, I could feel a part of me disappointed that he wasn't there.

But then, what did I expect? Anna's words saying that Erik was in love with me had given me a false hope, one that was shattered the moment I saw that my driveway was empty and that he wasn't there waiting for me. When I glanced at my phone, he hadn't called either.

Still, as I took a shower, a feeling of relief washed over me, feeling the warm water beating against my skin. It felt almost as if I'd cleansed something from deep inside me, the shame of my past slowly washing away and hopefully in its place, the full acceptance of things as they really were, not the way I always expected them to be, colored only by doom and gloom.

So my mother was an addict. So she had to whore herself to get the drugs, as David claimed. So what? What mattered now was that she was trying to get clean and healthy again. She had decided to return to the land of the living.

My doorbell rang just as I stepped out of the bathroom dressed only in my robe, my long hair wrapped in a towel. I could see Erik through my window, pacing across the landing. If there was anyone who could rock a plain gray t-shirt and sweat pants, it was Erik. My heart pounded inside my chest, excitement building with each passing minute, and by the time he rang the doorbell the second time, I was as giddy as a schoolgirl on prom night.

"Hey, beautiful," he said as I ran up to him, jumping into his arms as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt his arms circle me, tightening around my waist and holding me tightly, his lips buried in the curve of my neck. I had forgotten all about my little tantrum earlier that evening, nor the realization that he already knew what Anna was to me. The feel of him holding me overpowered every other thought inside my head.

Erik kissed me, and the taste of his lips made me tremble, my belly doing flip flops as he kicked the door shut behind him. The towel wrapped around my hair loosened and tumbled behind me. As I tried to catch it with one hand, Erik lowered me back down to the floor, chuckling as he handed me back the towel.

The spell suddenly broken, I blushed at my sudden burst of affection, remembering that there were things I wanted to tell him first. But Erik beat me to it by asking me first.

"How is your mother?"

"She's...she's well," I said, the mood between us suddenly serious. "Did she really tell you all those things about me? About the time I lived with her and-"

Erik nodded. "She told me everything, Sam. But I didn't want to say anything to you over the phone. I wanted you to tell me yourself."

"Was I really that obvious?"

"I saw it on your face, Sam," Erik said. "You looked like you'd seen a ghost, and it only made sense. I didn't have to ask Anna. She told me first - that she had a daughter, and that she'd made so many mistakes in raising her and all she wanted was to get clean and get her back again."

"This morning, when she called my name...I just panicked," I stammered. "I never thought I'd see her again. Especially not at your clinic, of all places."

"It's a small world," Erik said, a faint smile on his face.

Too small, I wanted to tell him. "This is all just happening too fast for me, Erik. I've been hiding my past for so long I'd forgotten all about it. I mean, doesn't that make me just a horrible person? To forget your own mother and being a mother yourself? It makes me seem so mean, so cruel-"

"It makes you human," Erik said.

"But no one understands how it is to live with an addict," I continued. "How it becomes all about them and what they need, what they want. I had to make a clean break, especially when Eunice offered me a place to stay. And in the end, I was too afraid to go back-"

Erik gently cupped my face. "I can never know how it must feel to live with anyone addicted to something like heroin or painkillers, so I don't even try. What do I know about them is that they come to my clinic when they really want to get clean - when they have to get better or risk losing everything. But something prompted Anna to find help, and she did. This is her third and last try with the clinic. And I think you and Michael just gave her a reason to stay clean."

I nodded, digesting everything Erik was saying. How could he be so calm? How could he still love me despite what Anna must have told him? Still, I didn't want to know. I only wanted him to keep holding me, to keep looking at me the way he was looking at me right now.

"Did you get to spend time with her?" He asked, a faint smile on his face.

I nodded. "Does knowing who she is to me change the way you see me? Feel for me?"

He frowned. "Why would it change anything between us?"

I shrugged. I was about to say that David said so, but I bit my lip instead and said nothing. Old habits died hard - but I was intent on killing every single one of them that no longer helped me.

"We never discussed your parents at all, or your past apart from Eunice and before that, your time in juvie," he said. "So it's not like you lied to me, Sam, or withheld something from me with the intention to fool me. So why would it change the way I feel for you?"

"Not everyone's as open-minded as you, Erik," I said. "Or patient."

"That's because I care for you very much. I don't know why, Sam, but you touch me like no one else. You move me like no one else but I'm not about to analyze why. Some things just are the way they're supposed to be, and everything else is just fighting against it," Erik said, exhaling. "And I don't want to fight against this feeling even if it's to justify them to you - and prove to you that whatever it is you're feeling is right."

I bit my lip, my stomach doing flip-flops at the sound of his voice, the meaning of his words.

"The world's not as bad as you think it is, Sam. And even if that's the world that you once knew, I'm sure things have changed since then," he continued. "You should stop being so scared all the time. Not everyone's out to harm you."

"Sometimes I think that you're just too good to be true."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Sam, but I don't walk on water. I'm far from perfect, and one day, when I all, you'll have to figure out what to do. Just...just don't put me on a pedestal," Erik said, pulling me towards him. He cupped my face in his hands, studying my face with his blue eyes, a simple act that made me go weak in the knees. "I'm just a man, Sam."

You're not just any man, I wanted to tell him. But then I remembered Serena.

"Did you get to talk to Serena about stepping down? What did she say?"

"She said she'd think about it," he said, shrugging. "It's not an easy thing to do - just stepping down like that. There are lawyers to deal with and articles to draft -"

"-but, Erik, you promised me -"

"-I told you I'd talk to her about stepping down. The actual stepping down, or in a worse case scenario, removal, is a whole different matter," he said, sighing. "But I'm tired of talking about her at the moment. Is it okay if we just did this tonight?"

He kissed me softly, his lips brushing lightly upon my own, making me shiver as I closed my eyes. He caught my lower lip and nibbled, before letting go.

"Just a kiss?" I asked.

"I sure hope not," Erik whispered, pushing the strands of hair from my face before kissing me again, my lips parting as his tongue slipped between my teeth, my body quivering with anticipation. My knees grew weak as Erik continued to kiss me, each kiss growing deeper. When his mouth left my lips, brushing against my cheek, my neck, behind my ear before moving down my shoulder, each kiss translated itself into the thousands of goosebumps that prickled against my skin, needing no words to tell me just how much he missed me - and just how much I missed him in return.

"You mean there's more than just all this kissing?" I asked, hearing Erik chuckle.

"That's what I've heard. I've yet to read the manual."

"I think you wrote it," I giggled as Erik turned me around, leaning my back against the door. My robe slipped open, revealing skin that yearned for the feel of his hands touching me, brushing against me, squeezing me.

Erik lifted me against him, my legs wrapping around his hips as he carried me towards the bedroom. He made a wrong turn into Michael's room at first, our kisses turning into silly giggles as he turned back, almost bumped my head against the door frame, then backed up and carried me to my room. We both tumbled onto the bed, my robe now open, my body bare before him.

My arms were still in the sleeves of my robe, pinning me down as I watched him pull off his shirt and his sweat pants and naked, bent over me, his mouth meeting mine. There were no words now, except for our names uttered in breathless gasps as Erik's kisses continued, this time moving down my neck and then to my breasts, taking his time before moving lower to my belly, past the scar I was always self-conscious about.

When I brought my hand down to stop him from kissing my thighs, realizing what he was about to do, Erik interlaced his fingers with mine, trapping them. He kissed the inside of my thigh, and I felt the beginnings of a shiver that erupted from deep within my belly, making me catch my breath.

"You're beautiful," he said as I finally let go of the shame of being imperfect.

I loved the feel of his mouth against my thighs, the stubble that scratched the skin in its wake, his tongue exploring my body as I trembled with the expectation of sweet release. When his mouth found the lips of my sex, I gasped, muffling my cries in my pillows as he kissed me there, licking and sucking the sensitive folds till I was trembling, moaning his name and begging him to fill me.

Erik kissed me on my mouth again, sharing the taste of me as his tongue explored me, reducing me into a woman madly in love with a man, quivering for the anticipation of him inside me. I loved how Erik made love to me with his whole body, even with his eyes, watching me gasp at the way he filled me completely, the desire mingling with an ache that only he could fulfill.

It was difficult to keep secrets from a man like Erik, not when I'd been laid bare to him completely, for it was as if he knew almost every part of me now, even my soul, once so guarded, its doors now flung open, and its high walls breached. He sent me soaring that night, baring me to the simplest parts of me, the most common denominator of all, that heart of woman who longed for love and acceptance, yearning for someone to trust completely, with everything that I had.

Hours later, when I awoke, it wasn't from a bad dream. Instead, it was to make sure that I hadn't dreamt it all, that Erik was still with me, lying asleep on his side behind me, one arm slung over my waist. I needed to know that even though Erik may know who I truly was, he was still here with me, loving me like he did when he thought he knew me then, the woman caught in the midst of still rewriting her past.

I turned to face him, watching his face in the dim glow of the hallway light. My fingers brushed softly against his skin as if proving to myself that he was real - that just as my mother said, he was mine.

Erik's arm tightened around me as he opened his eyes. He did not say anything as he sleepily watched me trace the muscles of his shoulder and then his face, as if I wanted to memorize him with my hands. He caught my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it before pulling me closer to him.

"You should be sleeping," he murmured. "You've got a big day tomorrow."

Thanks to you, I wanted to say, but Erik closed his eyes and I wondered if he'd gone back to sleep. But as I buried my face against his chest, I felt his lips brushing against my forehead.

"I love you, Sam," he whispered.

And at that moment, the mountains moved.