^^ Jay ^^

I'd ridden aimlessly for hours before heading back towards town. I don't want to go back to the clubhouse yet. My anger has worn off, and now all that is left is white hot pain, making my chest ache so hard it feels like my heart has exploded. I find an industrial estate on the outskirts of town that looks abandoned. It catches my eye because of the large tarmacked car park. I hadn't stunted since I left England and the itch to play is unbearable.

The sun is high in the sky now, and the day is sweltering, but I ignore it all, concentrating on the feel of my bike as I perform the tricks. It comes so naturally to me now, like the bike is an extension of myself. I play around with wheelies and stoppies, switching my positioning to have my legs hanging over the bars. I get the bike going in a large circle and pull up so that my feet are on the seat. As I put my hands on the tank and push myself up into a handstand, I spot something out of the corner of my eye and almost wobble, catching myself at the last minute. I clear my mind again, feeling the bike begin to slow. I lower myself back down and speed the bike up. I pull the front wheel up and spin in a tight turn, before lowering it again, stopping to face the bikes at the edge of the car park. They're all there, the wankers.

I don't move, simply revving the engine, watching them watching me. I feel like I'm in some old western movie, only instead of horses, it's motorbikes. I chuckle at the thought, glad my helmet is a full face one so they can't see. They're all talking together, and when Jay pulls towards me, I realise they'd been trying to decide who to send. I'm glad it's him - if it was any of the others I'd probably have left. I pull my helmet off as he slowly approaches me, showing him I won't leave yet. He pulls up next to me and I'm grateful. I knew he hadn't stopped in front of me so that I wouldn't feel trapped. He understands me already, and for a moment I wonder what he's running from. I place my helmet on my tank but leave the engine running, a subtle warning not to piss me off.

"That was impressive," he says. Again I'm grateful. He didn't ask the three dreaded words. 'Are you okay?' I hate that question. Did people ever want an honest answer? Or did they want you to just say yes so they didn't have to worry anymore? I nod my thanks, not sure what to say. He hasn't done anything wrong, but my temper is fragile right now. "How did you learn?" He asks, and I laugh.

"Trial and error," I grin. He raises an eyebrow like he doesn't believe me. "Seriously, I'll show you the scars from all the errors one day!"

He laughs, and I can't help but join in. His laugh isn't loud and obnoxious, it's gentle and honest. His eyes sparkle whenever he does it, and it makes me feel warm inside. For a moment it's easy to forget that he is a gang member who carries a gun, no matter how much he denied it was a gang. He turns back to the others and motions with his hand that they can leave. They all pull off apart from one, and I scowl when I realise it's Smiler. Jay must have noticed because he puts a hand on my arm. "It's just for safety. He'll keep his distance," I nod and he takes his hand away. He looks up at me again after a few minutes. "Fancy a beer?"

I grin. "Love one. If you can beat me back I'll let you play me at pool," I tell him, putting my helmet on. He frowns for a second, before turning his bike back on, but I'm already moving, fast. Damn, I love the speed. For a moment I panic that I won't remember the way back, but as I pull onto the road I realise it's all familiar. By the time they pull into the clubhouse a few moments after me, I was off my bike and leaning against the wall, one foot propped against it, and checking my nails like I'd been there for hours.

Jay steps off his bike and walks towards me, shaking his head. As he gets closer, I go to ask what he's doing, but I stop when he puts his hands on my hips and winks at me. Butterflies pound in my stomach until he yanks me from the wall and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I squeal and feel his shoulders shake with laughter as Smiler opens the door for him. He plonks me down on to the bar, pinning me there with his hands on my thighs.

"Funny girl," he tells me, grinning when I try to look innocent. "I think we should call you Sonic,"

I laugh and push him away, tensing when I hear Skids speak.

"They used to call her Viper," he says. When the others look confused, he explains. "You never knew she was there until she struck." He winks at me, and I smile back, forgetting for a minute that I'm pissed at him.

I think Jay realises the moment I remember because he suddenly shoves a bottle of beer into my hand. I tip the bottle towards him in salute, and then down it in one long pull. I hand him the empty bottle back and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, grinning at his shocked look.

"Raised by an Irishman, remember?" I laugh. He shakes his head and hands me another bottle before said Irishman moves to join me. I jump down from the bar and motion for him to join me at a table farthest from the others. Neither of us says anything for a while until I break the silence.

"My ex was an arsehole," I tell him, watching him tense in the middle of swigging his beer. "I won't go into detail, but there was one word that was flung around more than others, especially when he was feeling particularly spiteful."

Realisation appears on his face and he rubs a hand over his eyes. I notice then how tired he looks. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. You know I didn't mean it." I nod because I know he didn't. "You're my little girl. It's hard adjusting to you being a woman now. I keep thinking of you as a child still."

I nod again and reach across the table to squeeze his hand. "I know. But you have to trust me to make decisions for myself,"

He flinches. "But this decision?" I raise an eyebrow at him, daring him to argue. He knows how stubborn I can be, and he has no reason to stop me dancing, except that he doesn't like it. "Okay, fine. But at least one of the guys will be there every time." I go to argue but stop myself. I can compromise when needed.

"I'll make you a deal," I start. He looks at me warily. "I keep dancing until I have enough saved for a decent place, or I find a better job that pays as well."

He sighs in resignation and nods. "You'll be the death of me," he says.

I grin again. "Nah, that'll be the booze or the bikes."

He stands and flicks my forehead, ignoring my protests. "Cheeky madam."

I sit at the table alone for a while, watching as the others drink and laugh at the bar. My eyebrows crease as I realise that I'll have to leave these guys one day, probably soon. I know how painful it will be when that day comes, and my hate for my ex amplifies. I jolt from my thoughts when another beer is placed in front of me, and look up to see Jay.

He sits opposite me and I turn to face him, my back towards the bar. "You look like you're plotting someone's death," he says with a grin

"That obvious?" I ask, chuckling. I wave away his concerned look. "Just daydreaming."

"Anything good?"

I wink at him and lean forward. His eyes flick down to my exposed cleavage and he licks his lips before meeting my eyes again and leaning towards me slightly. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I ask.

He grins and his eyes flick to the bar behind me. "Don't look now but we've got an audience,"

I cringe. "Skids?"

He shakes his head. "Smiler," he winks. He leans even closer to me, his hair tickling my cheek as his lips brush my ear. I suppress the shiver that runs through me. I don't think of Jay in any sexual way, but it has been a while since anyone had been like this with me. "Do you trust me?" He whispers, pulling back and grinning when I nod. He takes the beer from my hand and places it on the table before pulling me up from my seat. He leads me to the other side of the bar where a space is left clear. Spinning me round, he pulls my back against his chest and puts his hands on my waist. "Dance with me," he murmurs.

As we move to the music I try to work out what he's playing at. I know he isn't making a move, it isn't like that with us. His fingers graze my skin where they had slipped under my tank top, and I close my eyes, leaning my head back against his shoulder. He rests his chin on my shoulder and nuzzles his face into my neck.

"Look at Smiler," he whispers.

I wait a few seconds and open my eyes. They land on Smiler who is staring at us. As I look at his hands, I see that he's holding his beer so forcefully that his knuckles are white. For a moment I think that the bottle will smash under the pressure. His other hand is fisted on his thigh, and I can see the muscles in his arms bunching from being so tense. I look back to his eyes and see he's staring at where Jay's hand sits under my top, resting on my waist. As if he feels me looking at him, his eyes meet mine and he takes a long swig of beer, not looking away. I watch his throat move as he swallows and I lick my dry lips. His eyes flick down to follow the action and he swallows hard again. I close my eyes, trying to ignore the heat that floods my body as Jay chuckles in my ear.

"Told you," he says.

"Shut up," I murmur, trying to regain my senses. The song finishes and I take a step away from Jay, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He hooks an arm around my neck and pulls me close.

"Careful Darlin', someone might get jealous."

I laugh and slap his chest before walking towards the bar. As I turn he slaps my arse and I look back to see his eyes still on it as I walk. I laugh again and flip him off before leaning against the bar. Skids hands me another beer and raises an eyebrow. I shake my head and subtly nod towards Smiler who sits next to me. Skids' eyes widen and he nods. I love how no words are needed, he just understands. He moves to the other end of the bar, laughing at something Pest says and my eyes follow him. I jump when I hear a deep voice behind me.

"When are you going to tell him?"

I turn to look at Smiler, wondering what he was talking about. "Excuse me? Tell him what?"

He shrugs and takes another long draw of beer, looking at Skids. "Whatever it is you're running from." He looks back to me as my eyebrows shoot up.

"What the fuck would you know?" I ask. Okay, I know I'm a snappy bitch but I honestly thought I was doing a good job of hiding the whole running away thing. He puts his empty bottle back on the bar and nods once before standing. My hand shoots out to grab his arm before he can walk away and he looks down at it. "Sorry. That was uncalled for."

He sits back on the stool and looks at me. "You still haven't unpacked; your place was on a short term lease and you didn't have a phone. You're either hiding or running. Or both." His eyes bore into mine and I know it's pointless lying. He can see right through me.

"I'll tell him when he needs to know," I beg him with my eyes not to say anything to Skids. This is my baggage to deal with.

He nods again and I sigh, relieved. "Whatever it is, you're safe with us. You're safe here," he says.

I turn my back to him and watch the others. I can feel his knee against my back and I welcome the contact. Pest is playing with Sammy and the others are watching. "I'm not safe anywhere for long," I say quietly, not sure if I want him to hear or not. I feel him tense ever so slightly and know that he's fighting the questions that want to spill from within him. Then it's my turn to tense as I feel him move my hair. His finger draws the outline of the top of my wing tattoo that peeks out from under my top. I can feel the goosebumps that appear on my skin under his touch, and I feel him pause.

"Can I see?" He asks. I nod and feel him lift my top up at the back. My hand goes to the front of it, stopping it riding up too far. I hear him take a deep breath before he continues tracing the ink. His fingers dance down my spine, before tracing the edge of the snake tattoo that's revealed above my jeans. "Fuck." It's almost a sigh, and then he's pulling my top back down and clearing his throat, before walking out with a cigarette between his lips.

I try to slow my heart rate down as Jay walks over to me.

"Damn. All that sexual tension is making me horny!" He laughs.

I blow out a breath. "Yeah you're not the only one," I say, shaking my head.

"You know," he starts. "We could help each other out." He winks at me and I laugh, pushing his shoulder. "I'm kidding," he says, raising his hands in defence. "It'd be like boning my sister."

I gag and shove him away. "You're gross,"

"You love me," he calls as he walks away laughing.

"Debatable!" I call back, still cringing from his comment.