KARA/CAROLINE

Is it still considered snooping if you do it in your own house?

After William left, I was going from cabinet to closet and searching through everything. The kitchen was stocked well enough, but the bathroom needed some help, just the basic boring soaps were seen, not a flowery scent anywhere. It made me giggle to imagine Will using some rose scented lotion or something though. That picture definitely did not fit the image of my tough muscled William.

Anyway, there'd be a row of chamomile and orange shampoo and conditioner sharing the space in the upright shower soon enough, but I was the most excited to try out the jacuzzi tub off to the side. It was wolf sized; big enough for me to get a good deep soak in and I longed for it. The tub at my apartment had been microscopic. A bath didn't even cover half of me.

I looked through the medicine cabinet above the single white sink which surprised me to see no actual medicines, nor even bandaids. But I guess werewolves didn't have much use for bandaids, unless they had small children.

A minute later took me for another look through the makeshift library. It had me grinning, spinning around like a ballerina to see the wall to wall bookshelves. And still plenty of room for my box of books.

I knelt down next to my boxes and poked through until I found the one labeled 'books'. With a rip of tape, I opened the box and started placing books on an empty shelf. I put them in order of height, then I gazed around at all the colorful book bindings surrounding me and wondered if William had a particular way to organize. Would he be a put away by author or topic kind of guy?

When my eyes roved over a whole shelf of fantasy fairytale books next to a DIY chicken keeping book, I grinned. Looked like he was a place the book wherever there was a space person.

After all my books were shelved, I reached for another box to put away labeled 'clothes' and took it to the walk-in closet beyond the master bath.

William's clothing color palate almost said army to me. Darker colors of every shade, a few pairs of the same black boots and basic tennis shoes on their rack. A shelf completely covered in gray sweats brought back memories of my parent's closet filled with sweats in the exact same shade for my father's accidental shifts. It brought a soft smile to my face having a new memory resurface.

A rip sounded in the small closet as I tore tape from the top of the box and lifted one shirt to hang on my cleared side, but suddenly my whole excitement of the new house changed. I felt nervous and empty. William was gone. It was like I finally realized I was in his house alone, even though he had left a while ago.

It made me feel isolated and abandoned.

The feeling grew cold until I could hardly bare it, like I was the only person in the entire pack, not just this apartment. It hurt my chest with actual grief.

Maybe I just needed to get away for a while.

I stood and walked through the empty house and stopped in the spotless front room. As I gazed around at the place, I realized that I did have somewhere I could go. William said I could get paint. I looked at the current wall color, analyzing the tan that flowed through the whole house. Apparently, the same shade that came with the house when he moved in six years ago.

I kind of wanted to wait for him but was also ready to sneak away from the lonely house for a while. Plus, I was actually super interested in seeing this commissary. Will said it was just a basic grocery or mart type store that any of the pack residents could get pretty much anything they needed.

So with one final look at the isolated room, I grabbed my new key and took off for the stairs.

When I made the ground level, I still had to wander a few minutes until I found the right hallway. But the row of crystal clear windows showing into a grocery store screamed I had found it. I was like some silly tourist who had never seen a grocery store before. I was smiling ear to ear and grabbed a cart gazing at the walls and isles.

It was like any other grocery store, long isles full of food, but where I might be used to a whole row of cereal choices there were only a handful. It was still plenty for anyone to choose from, but limited to what I was used to. It made sense though. The pack couldn't have a whole Walmart up on the mountain of Fish Lake. It was cool they even had that much.

The isles were similar all along the store, things you'd need but in reduced quantities, and I followed each one checking out the choices. My mind was racing through possibilities of what I'd make for dinners, or what toiletries I may need in the future when I came upon the meat department. It brought a full on laugh to my lips and then I had to give an embarrassed wave to a wolf couple putting a ten pound roast in their cart.

I was not laughing at them.

The meat department looked even better than the local grocery store I was used to in Seattle. There were all the basic meats of chicken, pork, and beef, but anything else you could imagine: quail, venison, rabbit, mutton, goat. Everything a carnivore could dream of.

I started wandering through the rest of the departments, some clothing, toys, electronics, and headed to the home improvement side.

When I found the paint isle, I started loading the cart up with rollers, brushes, tape, and everything else I figured we'd need, and then looked over the paint colors.

There were about a dozen ready-made choices and no place to mix different colors. I had wanted a light grey for the walls, but their lone grey choice was a dark iron color. It was pretty, but the only window in that room was in the kitchen, all the way to the back. The living area didn't need to be any darker.

I glanced to the white can and started wondering if I could mix my own color when a sweet voice startled me.

"Need some help?"

"Oh." I then smiled to the pretty worker in a bright red apron. "Hi." She was petite for a wolf, with short curly auburn hair swinging around her ears. Her eyes were big with full lashes to die for.

Her bright red lips lit up when I looked over to her. "Oh, you're the Beta's new mate."

"Uh, I guess so? How did you..." I started.

"There was a video of you and Alpha attached to morning announcements a few days back." She laughed. "Mrs. Whyte often pulls things from the security videos to show the pack. This morning it was a newly mated wolf boy falling down the stairs after his girl gave him a kiss. It was so funny."

I wondered if the video of me breaking through a window and jumping to my doom would be on there next. It might be a good funny home video if William didn't break out in hives having to watch it again.

When I didn't say anything, she continued. "I'm Bree Loten."

"Kara." I mentioned even though I wasn't sure if she knew it already. Maybe my name was labeled in that announcement.

"You are an excellent singer. I got chills even through my stupid-bad laptop speakers. It made my whole day better."

My eyes went to the paint wall, an embarrassed warmth probably pinking my cheeks. "Thank you."

"So are you looking for paint?"

I took a breath and nodded, flipping the pink on my face away. "Yeah."

"What you paintin'?"

"The front room I think."

She swooned. "That's so romantic to think of being able to paint your own home with your new mate."

I snickered. "I guess so." She looked about twenty-five. Was it rude to ask? "'To think of'? You aren't mated yet? You're so pretty."

She looked to the ground, hands hidden behind her back, and the toe of her red sneaker digging into the tile. "Thanks, but no. My parents keep pressuring me to go to all the local pack mating dances. They act like I'm a menace to society 'being so old and unmated'. And they keep throwing it at me that my younger sister is already mated." She looked up to meet my eyes. "But I feel like going to those is for teenagers. Being a twenty-four year old she-wolf at a pack dance full of unmated eighteen year olds makes me feel so awkward."

Grinning, I patted her shoulder. "Well, keep an eye out. William had to find his mate clear from Seattle, a decade late."

She smiled back, warming. "I'm so glad he found you. He was okay, really. But the way he looked at you in that video, it was so beautiful. Like he was only just now alive. I can't wait until someone looks at me like that."

I nodded, wondering how I get my hands on that video. "It'll be your turn when it's meant to be."

She agreed with an exhale and then lifted her eyebrows. "In the meantime, I work here." She then motioned to the wall of paint cans. "What color you thinking of?"

A sigh escaped my chest. "Well, that's the problem." I pointed to the grey. "I think I want grey, but that seems too dark. Do you think I could get the white and mix it on my own? Make it lighter?"

"Oh, well we can make special orders." She pulled a tiny flipbook hidden from between some cans. "There's some more greys here." She opened up the page with about twenty different shades.

Lighting up, I pointed at one. "I like that."

"That's beautiful!" She gushed. "Most people get two gallons for their front rooms. I can get these ordered and they'll be here next Saturday."

"Oh," I said disappointed. "Clear next Saturday?"

She nodded, her bright red lips squeezing in a grimace. "Yeah. We only get grocery shipments every two weeks." She looked to all the supplies in my cart. "And you want to paint today."

I shrugged. It would have been nice to get something done today. Looking up over the other paint choices, I wondered aloud. "Maybe I can paint another room first." The comforter on the master was black. I could go with pretty much any color to match it. The burgundy red maybe?

"There's another option."

My glance came to hers in optimism. "What's that?"

"Loa has a hardware store. You could go and get your grey there. You'll just have to charge your gov-dec instead of getting it for free."

Gov-DeCs. Government Debit Card. William had hesitantly told me about stipend cards on the drive from Seattle after I asked how the pack supported themselves. The pack gets a very nice payment from the government each month to keep everything running. In turn the government asks for small werewolf ability favors once in a while and the pack keeps quiet and stays low about anything supernatural. I obviously didn't have a gov-dec yet, but my own personal bank account was well padded. "Loa, you said?" I wasn't sure where it was, but GPS was a savior.

"Yeah, it's a city, South about thirty miles. Do you want me to call transportation for you? I can get you a ride over there."

"Oh, no," I shook her off with a smile. "I have my own car. Thank you though. Maybe I'll just get these here and go there for the paint." Then I can stay out of the lonely home some more too. Although, I realized the weird solitary sensation never went away even being out of the apartment.

"Sounds great," she started walking to the front, so I followed. As she moved into the checkout till, she suggested, "you might want to let Beta William know you're leaving. Newly mated wolves can be pretty protective."

"That's a good idea," I started putting brushes up on the counter for her to scan.

She giggled, bagging up the items after each beep, "good luck with that. My sister has been mated a year now and he still hovers over her."

I shrugged and grabbed the bag. "It's nice to be protected sometimes."

She nodded a bit forlorn. "Yeah. I can't wait."

"You got a few more years until you're an old unmated like I was," I winked with a tease.

She giggled and waved. "Bye Kara."

I was then surprised I remembered her name as I usually am so quick to forget. "Bye Bree."

As I walked out the doors, she yelled one last time, "take a picture after you've painted and bring it down to show me!"

"I will," I waved and then started for the stairs.

When I got back to the apartment, the empty feeling hadn't changed, so I dropped the bag of supplies on the kitchen table and closed my eyes to link. Hey William, I want to drive to Loa to buy paint is that okay?

But there was no response.

William?

Still nothing.

William! Are you there?

He had to be okay right? I started to worry. Was something going on? He didn't seem distraught or anything when he said goodbye. He said it was just back to normal business.

And then I realized, I wasn't feeling lonely because of the empty apartment. This was like the emptiness of when I cut him out of my mind. Was that it? Was he shielding himself from me?

WILLIAM?! I yelled again.

He finally answered, some of the isolation subsiding. Goodness, Love. What?

He seemed so annoyed; an emotion he hadn't directed at me before, that my question cowered instead. Were you blocking me?

No Darling, of course not.

I blinked in shock of hearing him say the pet name again. The memories of Rick calling me that even though it was a fraudulent relationship, biting into my insides. I did not want to be reminded of the gun-happy jerk. Please don't call me that again.

Yes, right. Sorry Sweetheart. I meant no, of course I'm not blocking you. I'm just in council meetings and when I'm with the Alpha discussing business, outside links are often shut.

Oh. I see. I mean it made sense. You wouldn't want others spying like that into council meetings. I guess I was just overreacting. There was still so much about the wolf world I needed to understand better.

Did you need something, ...sweetheart? I'm quite busy.

Oh, um. I just... He still sounded so irritated at my interruption that I shrunk, thinking asking him to go to the store was stupid. Actually, no nevermind. It's not important. I'll just ...talk later. He wasn't Rick. He didn't need to know my every move. He'd trust my judgement as a grown woman.

And we said our quick goodbyes.

Feeling silly and foolish for interrupting just to ask him to go to the grocery store sounded so humiliating that I just grabbed my keys and purse and raced out to my car.

But by the time I found it in the parking lot, I wasn't feeling foolish anymore. It wasn't me that first thought about telling Will, it was Bree. Werewolves were protective. I knew it already. She was the one that said I should let him know.

A few minutes of a drive later, as the guards at the gate opened it for me and waved me through, I even felt it was sensible to talk to my mate. We were a couple. I'd want to know he was safe, just like he'd want to know I was. No, we didn't have to tell each other every silly thing, but going off pack borders when there were werecreatures on the loose seemed like a good time to mention it to him.

Maybe I should have just texted instead?

But he was going to be in meetings all day, so maybe he wouldn't have even noticed. And maybe he'd be forgiving if the walls were gorgeous when he got home.

It was then that I started to daydream about the grey I'd get and how good it would look on the walls. I smiled to myself and maybe was daydreaming too much because I hit the rocky side at the edge of the road. The new noise throwing me back into driving. I adjusted the wheel quickly, putting me back on course with a screechy swerve. Being on the long downward hill was not a good time to go on an off-road adventure.

Kara! Will screamed in my head.

Whoa, yes? What? Hi, I'm here! I'm okay! My heart was already pumping from the swerve.

Are you safe? What are you doing?!

My teeth clenched together is shame. He saw me drive off the road, didn't he? Um, I'm just going to get paint? I'm so sorry!

The whole link was alight with relief. Good. Good. No, that's fine. Yes, get some paint.

I was thinking maybe of a light grey for the front room? Maybe he'd know what colors the commissary had and realize I had to leave?

That's fine love. Why don't you call my mother over and have her help put on the first coat?

Oh, yeah sure. Maybe she could help me do the coat faster to surprise him with. Yeah, I can do that.

Listen I've got to go, I'm still in a meeting. I just needed to hear that you were okay.

Oh. ... Okay, bye then.

Love you.

You too.

I gave a long exhale. Okay, so he wasn't that angry that I went, just that I wasn't driving safe. I sat taller in the seat and turned the radio lower so I would concentrate better on the road.

At the bottom of the long hill, I flipped the blinker left and followed directions of the GPS.

But only a few more minutes was getting me some strange carsickness. I tried to hold it back, clenching my stomach. I was feeling woozy and there was a ringing in my ears like someone screaming. And the horrible kind of torture screaming at that.

Another thirty seconds had my eyes seeing double and hands shaking with tremors strong enough to start the steering wheel skipping.

I had enough sense to pull the car over and I turned the vehicle off and got out to stagger over to the grass. The sickness was so bad, I felt like I would vomit right there. I fell and rolled to my back, staring up at the blue sky, the sun's heat burning my forehead with sweats.

This was the time to get help.

I patted my pocket for my phone to call Will, but it wasn't there. I had left it on the console.

A swear word parted my lips.

I sat up in the grass and lifted myself to a wobbly standing position. Then the screams in my ears magnified a hundred times.

The healer then threw me back locked inside my own head so strongly it was as if she caged me in steel and she ran for the cavern.

I was running like a bullet, straight and rapid. The screeching in my ears getting louder and louder. I didn't know how, but I knew those wolves needed my help right now. I would not regain control until the healer's task was over.

Dancing over logs and rocks, I was closing in on the cavern when I was confronted by two massive wolves.

Patrol officers.

The healer barely paid them any attention. It was like they were merely flies on her way to the finishing line prize.

The black wolf dashed forward, jaws open to stop me when I sidestepped a twirling dance move around his outstretched teeth and kept running my path.

The grey wolf ran in his place, a howl sent to the heavens in warning. He lunged and I dodged in the form of an aerial right over his whole body. Mid-air my hand skimmed down his back, through the soft fur and pulled his human form from him and telling him to sleep.

When my feet came back to ground, I kept my pace forward.