Luna is awake when I return, sitting at the kitchen table and reading my note over again. I kick off my boots, sitting across from her and watching as she looks up. She isn't angry, I can tell, but she's concerned. The sunlight gleams off her dirty blonde hair, making it seem almost as light as mine. Some of her eyeliner has smudged from sleep, her eyes tired. "Morning," She greets, saying nothing about my disappearance. The note is crumpled in her hands, and she throws it in the trash can. I smile faintly at her, pulling off my sweatshirt and making a cup of coffee. "Where'd you go?" She asks.

I say nothing, as usual, pointing to the coffee mug. "Good. Al missed you." They had this strange friends relationship going on when I had been sent to the institution, but I never really thought much of it. I know Al was falling hard for her a couple years ago, but I don't know if they actually moved forward with their feelings or not. Either way, I'd support them. They'd be adorable together, almost like a second pair of parents.

Oh, wait. I don't even have a first.

"What do you want to do today?" I shrug, sitting down across from her and swirling my spoon in the heavenly black liquid. All I can think about is how Gabriel has gone through trauma almost as horrible as what happened to me, and he's perfectly fine. He had his moments, but other than that, he seemed like a normal teenager. "I have to work, if you want to come with me."

I nod. She looks at me carefully, almost as if she stared too hard I might break. "I was going to see Alexxa and Marion after." My head snaps up at the mention of my parent's names, heart sinking to my stomach once again. She frowns, running a hand through her hair. "You don't have to join me."

Shaking my head in a 'no' gesture, I stand and walk to where Luna kept all her pictures. Running my finger along the glass frames, one catches my eye. It's My father, mother, Luna, Chris and I, at the beach house we used to spend our summers at. My dad's arm is around my mother, while I'm being embraced from behind by Chris. Luna is sitting down in the sand, sidetracked and looking away from the camera. We're all smiling, enjoying the warmth and sunshine. It was such a great day it pains me to think we were once like that, happy and content being a family.

Without another thought, I take the picture out of the frame and put it into my wallet. The warm, early August air blows in from the open window, the rain stopped. A pang of guilt runs through me as I remember how I ditched Gabriel earlier without a goodbye. He'll understand, i'm sure. "R--Alexxa?" Luna catches herself from saying my name, but I freeze up anyways. Turning to face her, I hold the empty picture frame in my hands.

She smiles, taking it from me and setting it back down on the table. "That was a wonderful picture. You can have it- I have millions of others." I nod, sinking down on the couch and playing with my fingers. She sits next to me, arm going around my shoulder. "Whenever you're ready, sweetie, you can talk." My eyes lower from her face, and I nod, holding my composure although all I want to do is break down.

It's morning, now, and the sun is shining bright. It dries the rain, warms the trees, and gives some people a sense of comfort. Me, however, prefer the darkness, the water, the cool air. Everything people hate, is what I love. I stand when she does, following her to her bedroom. She changes into a pair of jeans, tying a white apron over her green tee shirt. "Your clothes are in the closet, remember?" She reminds me. I nod, smiling faintly, and open up the small closet.

I never was organized, and it shows now. Pants, shirts, socks, and accessories are scattered everywhere in a medium-sized pile, some probably dirty. Crouching down, I dig into the pile to find my favorite crimson button up and grey skinny jeans. They're both clean, and I happily put them on. I haven't grown in the past two years, it seems, because they fit perfectly.

Luna grabs her car keys, and we head off to the coffee shop. The trees race by like shadows, calling out to me. As usual, the streets are crowded. Everyone loves London for some reason, especially tourists. I pull down the mirror up on the car's roof, shielding the sun from my eyes but giving me a glimpse of what I look like.

My hair is tangled, face stripped of all makeup. Bags lie under my eyes, making me seem hollow and old. Grimacing to make sure this was really me, I dig into her console for my old makeup bag. It's untouched from the last time I used it, my sixteenth birthday.

We were getting ready to go to my party, which was going to be held at my house. I was all excited, because, who wouldn't? It's my sweet sixteen, and all my friends were going to be there. It turns out, my mom had lied to my friends and told them I was under the weather. Luna was dropping me off and then going back to change so she could meet me back here. I had put on my makeup on the ride there, not having enough time at her house. When she dropped me off, I ran inside only to find my parents chopped up in their bedrooms, my brother in the next room. When he saw what happened, he did the same to himself.

Reaching my hand inside the plain black bag, I take out concealer and rub it into my face. Luna laughs at how determined I seem to be pretty again. My eyeliner is easy to put on, almost like flicking my wrist. I don't bother to put on mascara, hating the heavy feel I used to get when I put it on. We pull up to the cafe just as I finish, adding mint chapstick to my cracked, stinging lips.

We get out, locking the door. I put my iPod in my pocket, opening the door for Luna. She smiles thankfully, setting her place behind the counter and wiping it down before throwing a damp rag at me. "Want to wipe down all the tables? You get free coffee." At the mention of my addiction, I wash all the small black tables just as an elderly man walks in. He says nothing, but she seems to know what he wants.

As he sits down, I can't help but walk up to her out of curiousity with a questioning glint in my eye. She leans in, staring at him through the corner of her eye. "He's deaf. My best customer, besides Gabriel."

I learned sign language in my freshman year, and love to use it. Maybe I can have a conversation with him. He seems nice enough, and friendly. Luna puts both our coffees on the counter, telling me to give it to him. She knows I want to talk to him, to have a chance to speak for once. Gratefully, I bring it over to the man, sitting across from him.

Hello, I sign, pushing it to him. He smiles, green eyes glinting with amusement.

Thank you, He signs back, taking off the cap and blowing on his coffee. Beautiful day, is it not?

Very. I can't help but smile, excited I'm talking to someone.

What's your name, sweetheart? I can't help but think of Gabriel when he says it, and how I blew him off this morning.

Alexxa. It's not a total lie, since it is on my new license and security card and everything, but part of me wants to tell him. Yours?

Daniel. What's a pretty girl like you doing talking to an old man like me? He asks, and a small laugh escapes my lips. I cover my mouth with my hands, looking around with wide eyes. Did anyone hear that?

Luna's eyes are glimmering with excitement. Yup, she definitely heard it. I don't talk to people much anymore, I tell him truthfully. Not many people can sign.

Are you deaf? He questions. I shake my head, smiling softly. Mute, then.

You could say that, I shrug. I just choose not to speak.

Why is that? His question cuts deep into me, making me wonder myself.

I decide to answer with the closest answer to the truth I can think of. I'm afraid. I sign, eyes focused on the table. I'm afraid they'll leave me.

He looks up, a slight smile on his face as he waves someone over. I look behind me, shock registering on my features as Gabriel pulls up a chair, sitting to my right of the circular table while Daniel stays in front. Don't worry about that, dear. The people who love you won't leave.

The irony in that makes me want to laugh, but Gabriel's staring at me with such intensity it's impossible to crack a smile. Do you know this kid? I ask, raising my eyebrow. He chuckles, nodding, and takes a sip of coffee before signing back.

My grandson, Gabriel. I glance between them, trying to see the resemblance.

Can he sign?

He shakes his head, sighing. Too lazy. Prefers to write me notes. I nod, looking back at Gabriel. His face is slightly ticked off, but more worried than anything as he examines me for wounds or something.

"That was fun, this morning." He says, voice heavy with sarcasm. "Got two cups of coffee." His words make me guiltier than ever, and I lower my eyes, signing Sorry. I'm glad he can't understand it, though.

What are you sorry for, exactly? Daniel asks. I focus my attention back on him, letting out a small sigh.

I ran off from him this morning. Had a bit of an anxiety attack.

He nods, understanding, and tosses his coffee in the trash. Gabriel pulls a pad of paper out of his pocket, scribbling a note on a sharpie. See? Lazy ass. I grin, watching as he rolls his green eyes and writes back. Peeking over his shoulder, I have to bury my head in Gabriel's shoulder to keep from laughing out loud. 'I don't give a flying fuck, learn to sign.' It says in big, black letters.

He chuckles, shoulders rising and moving my head with him. I immediately pull away, realizing I made physical contact with the guy I convinced myself I hated. Daniel stands shakily to his feet, sending a smile our way. You have fun with Gabriel. He signs, walking out the door after waving to Luna. Gabriel turns to me, raising a dark eyebrow in my direction.

"So, you and my grandpa?" He teases lightly. I roll my eyes, smiling slightly, and sip my untouched coffee as Luna has nothing better to do than watch us. "An odd mix, but one all the same. Welcome to the family, Grandma."

He gets me with that one. I laugh slightly, hardly making any noise. He grins, triumphant, and steals my coffee from me to sip it. Frowning, I take it back, cradling it in my hands and glaring at him. He sighs dramatically, looking over at Luna. "Can I have some coffee, Luna?"

She laughs. "R-Alexxa won't give you some?" Again, she slips her tongue. He doesn't seem to notice how pale we both get, instead looking down at his pad of paper with Daniel's handwriting on it. He chuckles at his words, looking sideways at me.

"So, you sign?" I nod, tapping my fingertips on my knee. "You'll have to translate for me sometime." Not gonna happen. Taking the pen from his hands, I use it to circle 'learn to sign'. He laughs, shaking his head. "Am I ever going to get you to speak?" He asks.

Nope, I think, putting in one of my earbuds and watching him sketch as the song plays halfway through on my iPod, at my favorite part I feel relation to.

"-She never listened to a word her daddy told her,

She finds company with her cigarettes

And feels alone when the sunset..." The verse ends, letting the guitars play. I watch Gabriel, how he draws. He seems lost in sketching, as if the world disappeared.

"And please, don't let this be love

Or can it be enough?

This college town is too small for both of us

So we're running away,

We'll pack our bags and take the first train,

And we're getting the hell out of here

This place can burn for all we care."

---------------------------------------------------

If you haven't noticed, all these chapters are named after the song that plays. So if you were wondering what song this is, So Far Away by Mayday Parade. Last chapter was Coffee and Cigarettes by NeverShoutNever. They all have to do with Alexxa's life and how she's feeling. In the second chapter, she's happy to be out of the institution. In this one, she's confused, hence 'or could it be enough?'

And no, Alexxa's real name will not be read out till the last chapter c; that's the point of this story. It's a new her, not the same one who led her parents to triple suicide.

I've realized, this story is for when i'm feeling insane. Which is a lot lately, since i've updated twice in two days.

comment/vote..

What do you think her real name is?

Picture of Luna on the side----->

Yes, i found her on shuttershock. No judging CX