It'd been nearly an hour since I came to Charlie's. I wanted to hold him forever, wanted to explain everything. I should've. I didn't sleep with that girl, I don't even remember speaking to her. But I shouldn't have been at that party. It was reckless, and unfair he found out this way. The words well up in my throat, the feeling before you begin to cry, and then I did.

Ten minutes pass and I'm visited by Tori, asking for an update. She didn't seem nearly as freaked out as I was, but maybe this was typical. But for as long as I'd known Charlie I'd never seen it, never been able to help, and now I'd caused it.

"It's not your fault," Tori says, crouching next to the bed. I hadn't left his side, I was too afraid to touch him, but I'd stayed as close as I could. His breathing had leveled, his tears stopped, he'd curled up on his side, and fallen asleep. She said I wasn't to blame but I couldn't help feeling like I still had a role in this.

"Thanks," I say, looking at my hands. I pause for a moment, thinking. "Do you think he hates me?"

Her expression remains but I see something flash in her eyes. "He could never," She says matter-of-factly.

"Thanks," I say again, giving her a small smile. While I felt a little foolish for asking, her answer put me at ease. Tori wasn't one to lie because it's what you want to hear. I trusted she meant it.

"Let me know when he wakes up," She says, picking herself up and leaving us.

"Char," I whisper softly, checking that he was still asleep. I adjusted myself on the bed, laying back, and letting my eyes wander the ceiling. I take a deep breath and release it. "I never meant for this to happen," I start. "If only I could tell you the truth. You know I'd never lie to you right Char? That's what I've been trying to do, but now I've made a mess of everything. I'm rambling aren't I?" I ask the open space. "You'd probably kiss me, joke about me being pouty, or too philosophical," He chuckles to himself. "Even I think you're overthinking Nick and I teach overthinking," I say, imitating their psychology teacher.

"It's more like, c'mon Nick what has Skinner taught you?" I hear Charlie say from beside me. Instantly my face turns a deep shade of carmine. How much had he heard? I panic.

"You're awake," I say, keeping my voice level.

"No, I'm a ghost," He jokes. "Nick, I am your subconscious," He mocks.

"Oi, knock it off," I groaned.

"Can strong rugby lad Nick not take a joke?" Charlie teases. I give him the side eye. Turning over, Charlie's hand searches the sheets.

"Looking for this?" I ask, dangling his phone between my fingers.

"Give it here," He commands.

"No way," I chuckle. "It's mine now," I say confidently.

"Give it back!" He tries, reaching for it.

"Too slow," I say, pulling it out of his reach.

"Oh, really?" He challenges, moving the blankets aside to lunge at me.

"Ah!" I cry as he attacks my side. "Stop!" I cry through fits of laughter. "I'm ticklish,"

"I know," He says smugly. Phone in his hands, I knock it out. "Excuse you??" He says, annoyedly. His eyes search for the device, but I tackle him to the bed before he can find it.

"Let me go," He groans playfully.

"I'm quite comfortable here actually," I smile. His eyes glare back at mine. I'm so focused on his iris, it takes me a minute to realize the precarious position we were now in. I feel a flush rising to my cheeks and attempt to force it down. God I wanted to kiss him. The moment is suddenly ruined as memories of the photo flash through my mind. The reason he was sleeping, the reason he had an anxiety attack, it was all me. He was still upset with me, and he had a right to be. Rather awkwardly, I clear my throat, and climb off of him, racking a hand through my hair.

"What is it?" He asks sweetly.

"What is it not?" I chuckle.

"If this is about,"

"The photo?" I finished.

"Yeah," He rubs the back of his neck. "Look, it's not a big deal, really,"

I shake my head, "You have a right to be mad,"

"I do?" He asks worriedly. I can hear his voice quiver slightly, the sound making my heart burst into a million pieces. He thinks I did it. He thinks I slept with her. I stay silent. I was scaring him, and I hated myself for it.

"Wanna do some homework?" He chuckles.

"Really, it's late, I should get going," Great, now I was leaving him. What had gotten into me?

"Stay," He pleads. "You can sleep here, or I can get you a spare bed," It was weird hearing him suggest it, we'd been comfortable sharing a bed for a while now, and the offer feels like a punch in the gut. But maybe I deserve that. I sigh.

"That sounds nice."