A late afternoon wind rolled through campus as I sat, nibbling on a my bologna and cheese sandwich. Hopefully, Tao would be here soon.

I stared out at the passing leaves, a few, still wet from winters burial sat atop the blades.

Distracted by the warm colors, I jumped a little at Tao'a greeting, "Hey," he said gently.

"Oh, hey,"

Scooting over to make room for him, I put away my lunch.

"How are you?" He asks, smiling.

"Okay," I try to say earnestly.

"Well that's a lie," He says, matter-of-factly. "What's up?"

"It's nothing," I spit out. What was I doing? I wanted to talk to him.

"Really?" He asked skeptically.

"No," I answered guiltily.

"What is it?"

"It's Nick," I let out slowly, expecting an 'I told you so,' but he simply nods, his expression level. I relaxed a little.

"Go on,"

"I uh," I pause, "I heard this rumor," I look up at him expectantly, but if he's heard anything he doesn't show it. "It uh, it said, that Nick got with some girl, at a party,"

"And do you believe it?" He asks.

"Should I?" I ask in return.

"Charlie,"

"Okay, okay, I don't know, I guess I do, I don't want to, but I think he did it,"

"And how does that make you feel?"

"Gosh Tao, stop being a therapist," I let myself laugh.

"I'm serious!" He laughs, "How does that make you feel?"

"I- I don't know! Bad I guess,"

"Bad?" He questions.

"Yes! Bad! What else do you want me to say??!"

"Are you enraged? Disappointed? Unaffected? Sad? Charlie how are you feeling?"

"All of the above?"

"That's a start,"

"I just, I don't know what to do, should I-" I hesitate, "Should I stay with him?"

"Honestly?" He asks. I nod anxiously, a trickle of sweat dripping down my spine. "You know how I've felt about him -about his friends I mean- I was really worried he would hurt you, and now you think he might have," My eyes drop at this. Here it comes. "But I think you should stay with him,"

"You don't think he did it?" I ask in shock.

He shakes him head, "That's for you two to work out. If he says he didn't, would you believe him?"

"I think so," I say guiltily. I should be saying yes, yes without a doubt, but I can't.

"And thats okay, just give it a shot, I think he's good for you Charlie. Never thought I'd say it, but I do, you'll work it out,"

"Thanks Tao,"

-

Coming home from school, I ride with Nick, a somewhat uncomfortable trip, but I don't want things to be weird between us, I try to break the ice and act like nothings wrong. After all, maybe nothing is. If Tao trusts Nick of all people, then I definitely should.

Hoping into bed I reach into my nightstand, pulling out my current journal. Grabbing the leather bound pages, something beneath the cover tickles my hands. The ribbon.