My mom didn't bring up driving again. At least not my driving. She wanted me to get a ride from Indy after school. "Or one of those boys," she threw in as she dropped me off the next morning.

No one could guilt trip like my mother.

That would've been the perfect time to bring up getting my license, my own car, so I didn't have to rely on her or anyone else for rides. But a line of cars had formed behind us already.

Besides, it was too early in the morning for a rejection. I had too much of that yesterday. I'd probably checked my phone more times in the last twelve hours than I had since getting the phone.

Andre never replied to my message. I knew I shouldn't have been obsessing over it like I was. He could've been busy. But that didn't stop me from analyzing everything I've ever said to him and wondering what I did wrong.

Did I say something that made him realize I wasn't worth it? Was I a place holder until someone more interesting came along?

What I saw as I trekked across the quad didn't help my over thinking. Andre and a very pretty blonde girl sat at one of the picnic tables talking. The girl grinned as Andre leaned close to whisper something to her.

I tried to ignore them, and the burning in my chest, as I kept my head down and continued across the quad. Why was I jealous? We hung out, like, once. He could talk to as many girls as he wanted to. It shouldn't have mattered.

It didn't matter, I decided.

Before I turned the corner to meet my friends, I unclenched my jaw and relaxed my shoulders. I didn't want to explain my completely unwarranted feelings of jealousy.

Nia and Romeo were huddled together, looking at something on his phone and laughing. Was it truly necessary for them to be that close? Usually, there was enough space for me to sit between them. Now there wasn't even enough space for a breeze to slip through. Why didn't they just sit in each other's laps?

I dropped down on Nia's other side as loudly as possible. They both straightened up then, pulling a part as Romeo put his phone in his pocket. What was on it that he didn't want to show me?

"I mad at you," Nia declared as she shifted to face me, her boney knees digging into my thigh. "First, you and Rome go to party without me and now you're having sleepovers?"

I looked over her shoulder at Romeo. How much did he tell her about our "sleepover"? The awkward dancing? The sleeping on top of each other? Those things should've stayed between us.

"It wasn't a sleepover," Romeo said. "I was babysitting the babysitter."

My eyes rolled, but I felt myself smile. Maybe he didn't tell her everything. "I didn't need babysitting."

To Nia he said, "She would've been on the floor in the fetal position if it wasn't for me."

That might've been true, but I wasn't admitting it. "So, what time are we meeting up for the V-day movie?"

They gave me matching looks of stunned silence. After Nia's predictions yesterday, they probably assumed I had other plans. I'd even let her get my hopes up about it.

Romeo snapped out of it first. "You're not going with Andre?"

The unanswered text. The blonde. It was laughable how I even thought that was a possibility. "Why would you think that?"

Keeping her eyes on me, Nia leaned back into Romeo and stage-whispered, "I just got chills."

"I thought you two were--"

"We're not," I said, cutting Romeo off. "So, when are we leaving for the movie?"

Rome and Nia shared a glance, concern on both their faces. I thought they were going to push the issue. Instead, Nia said, "Six."

"What did I tell you?" Indy said as we walked across the parking lot to her car. She'd just finished dance practice.

That day the remixed dance-pop songs were giving me a headache. I sat outside on a bench and doodled in my sketchbook. Hands with rings on almost every finger. Eyes I've known since middle school.

I filled a page with pieces of two different guys who didn't feel for me what I felt for them. However did I get so lucky?

Now, after I filled my sister in on what happened yesterday and what my mom said that morning, I tried to forget boys.

"You need to stop being so docile and push back with your mom," she was saying, swinging her car keys around her finger. The colorful key-chains hanging from them glinting in the sun. "Think of all the things you're missing out on. Now you can hang out with Andre without feeling guilty."

So much for not thinking about boys. "She didn't exactly give me permission to go off with boys," I pointed out. "I think she meant it like, 'yeah, go ahead and keep riding around with boys and watch what happens'."

Indy turned to me, brow scrunched up. "Wasn't last month the first time you ever even been in trouble?"

I crossed my arms stubbornly. "Thanks to you, I've been in trouble plenty of times."

She stopped at the trunk of her car, opening it and dropping her duffle bag inside. "That doesn't count because your mom knew I talked to you into those things. Admit it. You've never been in trouble without my help."

Was that true? Have I never snuck cookies before dinner as a child or come home past curfew without Indy being the cause? The longer I thought about it, the more obvious it became. But was it so bad that I didn't want to make things harder on my mom? Being a single parent came with enough problems.

"What was that stunt you pulled with Coach Winters?"

Indy and I whipped around to find a girl still in her dance warm-ups, her shoulder length locs pushed back with a headband. Where did she even come from?

"What are you talking about, Mariah?" It looked like Indy was trying everything in her power not to roll her eyes.

The girl, Mariah, crossed her arms across her exposed midsection. "You, trying to change up the routine. Last I checked, I did the choreography."

Indy couldn't hold back her annoyance as she let out a short laugh. "Last I checked, you were graduating in a couple of months. Your spot needs to be filled. I'm just showing Coach what I have to offer."

"The spot will be filled," Mariah said. "By my sister."

"Erykah?" She outright laughed then. "She can't even keep up with the routines. How the hell is she expected to come up with them?"

Mariah took a step towards Indy. Indy immediately sobered up, standing at her full height. I took a step back just in case fists started swinging.

"Stay in your lane, Indigo."

Indy matched her stance: arms crossed and looking ready to fight. "Oh, I plan on it. And that lane will lead me right to being captain next year." She finished off with a sugary sweet smile before turning and climbing into the driver's seat.

I followed suit, sliding into the passenger seat. Mariah stood behind the car a second longer before stomping away. "I thought you were gonnakick her butt."

"That's what she wanted," Indy said as she set up her phone to the Bluetooth and found a playlist for our five minute drive. "And I would've taken the bait if fighting wasn't an automatic cut from the team."

As Indy pulled out of the lot, I saw Mariah yelling at who I assumed was her sister. Erykah chewed at her thumbnail, her eyes cast downwards as her sister shouted who knew what at her. Poor girl.

I was about to point it out to Indy when I noticed her worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. A clear sign she was holding back tears.

That was a rare sight when it came to Indy. She was quick to brush off any negative emotions. But it was obvious Mariah found the exact right button to push to shake her up.

"Don't let her get to you, Indy."

She sniffed, quickly wiping a tear away. "I worked hard on that routine because I actually care about the dance team. Mariah just cares about the title. That's why she comes up with those tired ass routines." Indy shook her head like she couldn't believe Mariah even got the position. "All I was doing was trying to living it up a bit. I didn't change the whole thing."

I'll admit I didn't pay that much attention to the dance team. I hardly knew the members or the positions they held. What I did know was that Indy spent hours in her room, in front if a mirror practicing most days.

When we first met all those years ago at my ballet recital, she couldn't believe I wanted to quit after I puked all over the front row. She'd always been in love with dancing.

I didn't know anything about the other people on the dance team, but I knew there was no better choice for a captain who was as dedicated and passionate as Indy.

"Whatever you did in there has her scared," I said. "She wouldn't have said anything if she didn't think you were a threat. So, keeping doing it."

She wiped more tears from her cheeks. "No, you're right. The team loved my changes. Well, the ones that weren't up Mariah's ass."

"See! You have nothing to worry about," I assured her, then pointed up ahead. "Make a left. You deserve a cookie."

"Oh, it is February," she mused. "So that cafe by your house has those red velvet cookies."

Indy was practically drooling when she pulled up to the speaker to order her cookie and me a frosted heart-shaped sugar cookie.

"Are you going to movie night Monday?" I asked as we waited for our order to be prepared.

"Haven't decided yet," she said, a coy smile on her face. "But I've had lots of offers."

"Of course," I laughed. "Those boys don't know what they're getting themselves into."

My sister smiled brightly at that. "Has Andre asked you yet?"

"Why do people think he's going to ask me?"

He texted me three times during lunch that day. I didn't look at them. He made me wait. He can wait. Even though the petty energy I used to not cave and read the messages was fading.

"Because why wouldn't he?" she said as she pulled forward to the next window, readying her debit card.

She said it like it was that simple. Like it made perfect sense that Andre and I would end up together. I didn't share her confidence in the matter.

Just as I opened my mouth to tell her why me and Andre wouldn't be a thing, the window slid open. Andre stood there with a headset and a charming smile. My mouth clamped shut.

"Hey, Andre," Indy said.

I sank lower in my seat, focusing on the squirrel running through bushes ahead of us. Of all the employees, he had to be the one at the window?

"You going to movie night?"

Indigo Laurie, if you don't shut up I will hurt you! I thought to myself, hoping she could hear it. Or feel me choking her with my mind.

"Thinking about it," Andre said coolly.

"Taking anyone special?"

I couldn't help myself. I looked. Andre still had his million-dollar smile on his face as he handed my sister her card, followed by a small brown bag of cookies.

"Enjoy your evening." he said instead of answering. His words were meant for Indy, but his eyes met mine, winking, right before he slid the window closed.

The tug of war happening in my chest at that moment had me feeling nauseous. Every time I think I've flipped the switch and turned off my feelings for someone, they'd do something to make me change my mind.

Andre. Romeo. They unknowingly gave me a little spark of hope for a situation I knew would inevitably led to my heartbreak.

Knowing that didn't stop me from opening my messages from Andre after Indy dropped me off at home that night.

Mr. T is good

Probably hiding under someone's bed right now

You're not at your usual lunch table

I couldn't catch up with you at lunch and I got work after school

Meet me in front of the school tomorrow?

There it was again. Hope blooming like a flower in the driest of deserts. But that wink from early...Maybe it wasn't all in my head.