Lamar didn't live too far. Actually, he lived only thirty minutes away from Romeo's mom. The second I sent Romeo the text, I remembered we weren't on the best of terms at the moment. But the message had been sent and, a minute later, read.

That's how Romeo ended up outside my house at ten at night. I was sitting in a chair on the porch when he arrived.

"What is that?' He asked, pointing to my overnight bag on my lap as he walked up to meet me.

"Snacks, mostly." I said it, trying to keep the mood light, but he wasn't smiling.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket. "Why am I here?"

"As I said in my message, I need you to drive me somewhere," I said, standing.

"Now?" I nodded. "No. Go to bed."

He started to walk back to his car. No? He couldn't just say no. I followed him to the driveway. "Romeo, this is important."

"Then why can't you ask your mom to take you?" he asked, pausing at the end of the driveway to turn to me. "Or Indy? Or...anyone else."

The way he spat out those last two words made me wonder if he was talking about Andre.

"I don't want to get my mom or Indy involved," I told him, stopping a few feet away. "Not yet, at least. Please? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"Where are you even trying to go?"

"At the moment, your mom's house." His brows pulled together. "I was thinking we could crash there tonight and then tomorrow morning we could go meet my sperm donor."

He was really paying attention then, taking a step closer. "You found him?"

"Yes. Well, he found my mom," I told him. "He sent her an email with his address." I pulled it up on my phone to show him.

He stared at the email for a long while. "This could be some sort of scam."

"It's not. I looked him up," I said, putting my phone back in my pocket. "But if things do go wrong, that's why I got you. For your big, strong muscles." I poked his biceps, hoping for even a chortle. Nothing.

"No." He continued to his car, climbing into the driver's seat.

Even with things rocky between us, I thought he'd still be there for me. Even with my poorly thought out plans in the middle of the night.

The yellow light of the street lamp illuminated his car. He just sat there, rubbing his brow. What was he doing?

I started to call out to him when he got back out of the car. He looked at me over the hood. "My mom said it's fine for us to stay," he told me and I noticed the phone in his hand. "But only if we clean out all the junk food from her house."

A smile played across my face as I walked to his car. "All I heard was free food." When I pulled the handle of the passenger's side door, it was locked. Romeo didn't move to unlock it. The two of us just stared at each other over the hood of his car. "You gonna unlock the door?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

I noted the way he refused to call Andre by name. "No," I said. "I mean, I don't think so. We haven't talked about it."

He reached into the car and unlocked the door. What would've happened if I'd said Andre was my boyfriend?

"Are you getting sleepy?"

Romeo had gone even quieter than usual, which he did when he was tired. Like talking would use up what little energy he had left. We were only half way to his mom's house, on a highway that ran through the desert. Aside from the occasional car or truck, we seemed to be the only people out there.

"I'm getting bored," he said, adjusting himself in the seat.

"You're the one who didn't want to play I Spy."

He shot me a look. "We're surrounded by dirt, Joshua trees, and electrical poles."

"And creepy looking rock formations," I pointed out. "Oh! I have the Percy Jackson audio books."

"Why?" He dragged the word out, emphasizing his confusion.

We'd been doing good on the drive. It was mostly quiet, but not awkward. I didn't want to tell him I was reading the book because of Andre.

"I liked the movies," I said instead.

He gave me a look. "You only watched because you thought the guys were cute," he said, making a face. "Even the Black dude who was half goat."

Grover was really cute. "I also liked the plot."

"Which was?"

There was a long pause before I said, "Shut up."

He laughed, shaking his head. "And since when do you listen to audio books? Or read...ever?" The smile slowly faded from his face, his eyes darting between me and the road. "Unless someone asked you to read them?"

Was it really so hard for him to say Andre? "No one asked me," I told him truthfully. "But they are Andre's favorite books."

A muscle twitched in his jaw as he shifted in his seat again. Now, the silence was awkward.

● ● ●

The movement of the car and the sound of tires over gravel started to lull me to sleep when Romeo said my name. I sat up, stifling a yawn. "Yeah?" I thought maybe I'd actually fallen asleep and we were at his mom's house, but were still surrounded by nothing.

His gaze flicked between me and the road. "Where'd you tell your mom you were going?"

"She was asleep."

"You snuck out?" He asked, alarmed.

There wasn't much sneaking involved. My mom was a heavy sleeper. Once she was down, she wasn't waking up until her alarm went off.

"When she sees I'm not home, she'll call," I said. "Then I'll tell her everything." Hopefully, she wouldn't try to drive here to stop me.

"You really didn't think this through." It wasn't a question, but a statement. "You never talked about him before. Why are you risking your life to see him?"

"Risking my life?"

"I've never seen your mom mad before," he said. "But I think this will send her over the edge."

That was probably true. I shook it off, shrugging. "Indy wants to meet him. I don't want her to be disappointed."

"What about you?" He asked, glancing at me. "Aren't a little curious?"

"Nope," I said truthfully. "I don't waste my time thinking about people who aren't thinking about me."

Present company excluded, I thought to myself.

"What's in the bag?" he asked after a beat.

He only wanted to change the subject, and I was thankful for that. We spent the rest of the drive eating chips and pointing out which trees looked the most like people dancing in the dark.

When we got to his mom's house, Bell was already in bed. Romeo had to use his key to get in. We were so tired when we got there that we didn't think twice about climbing into bed together. Head-to-feet this time. To avoid any unintentional cuddling.

But once I was in the bed, I was more awake than I'd been on the drive. What Romeo asked me in the car came back to me. I was so sure I didn't care about seeing Lamar. Now my stomach twisted at the thought. What the hell was I doing?

"Are you sleep?" I whispered into the darkness.

"Depends on if you plan on asking me to move," he replied in a whisper of his own.

"I don't think I can do this," I admitted to the ceiling.

He was quiet a while before saying, "Wow. It only took you an hour to admit it."

I kicked him, my foot connecting with his shoulder. "Seriously. What if something goes wrong?"

"You got me as the muscle, remember?" I moved to kick him again, but he grabbed my leg, holding it hostage against his chest. A laugh bubbled out of me as I tried to free my leg, but he wasn't budging. "What would be the worst-case scenario?" he asked.

I thought for a moment, even though the answer came to me immediately. There had to be another reason it scared me to see him. Like, maybe he was violent or on drugs? But those things didn't make my chest tighten as much as the thought that plagued my mind.

"What if, when I get there and tell him who I am, he doesn't..." I trailed off, unable to say the words. Thankfully, I didn't have to.

Romeo's hand absentmindedly ran up and down the length of my calf. "If he doesn't want you in his life, then he's be a dumbass. Trust me, I'm speaking from experience."

Suddenly, his touch held more weight. The silence was heavy around us. I stilled under his hand, my heart pounding in my chest. "What do you mean?" I asked finally.

"I fucked up in when you asked me to the dance," he said. "And I kept fucking up every moment after when I didn't say anything."

He let me slide my leg from his hold that time. We laid there in the dark, unmoving. I'd wanted to hear those words for so long, but I'd given up on him ever saying them. How was I supposed to respond to that? Why would he bring it up now? When I was freaking out about Lamar? And Andre and I were...whatever we were. The longer I let his words settle, the angrier I got.

I sat up, reaching over to the nightstand and flicked on the light. "Are you serious?"

Romeo rose to his elbows, squinting in the now bright room. He audacity to look confused. Like he didn't just rip my heart in half.

"You had three years!" I was done whispering in the dark. He was going to hear what I had to say loud and clear. "I told you how I felt in eighth grade. You wanted to be friends. And now that I'm finally getting over the ridiculous crush I had on you, you speak up? That's bullshit, Jerome!"

He sat up as well, eyes trained on the gray striped sheet we shared. We were entirely too close. I got up, wanting to put as much distance between us as possible. He was at the door before I could reach the knob. "Where are you going?"

"I can't be in here with you." When I grabbed the doorknob, he put his hand over mine to stop me. I snatched away like he'd burned me, crossing my arms across my chest.

"I'll sleep downstairs," he said.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him as he grabbed a pillow from the bed in left. I stared at the gray carpet until I heard him going down the stairs. Allowing myself to finally breath, I got back into the bed. And for the second time ever, I cried because of my best friend.