[5.7.2022]

i don't know how much of myself has been missing you because if i let myself yearn, it would hurt all over. my heart still aches when i think about how happy we could've been together.

i still think about the perfect little world we built for ourselves. in my mind at nights, i'm still the girl who falls asleep in the crook of your neck without doubting that i'll spend the rest of my life with you. you're the boy who spends your days missing me every second that i'm not with you. i still don't know if it was love.

it feels like it was love. unintentionally falling for each other after late night calls. unintentionally falling asleep while the other was whisper-talking because you've been yawning a thousand times. unintentionally loving every part of you i never knew i would see.

you're still the one who comes to mind when i see a shooting star. the thought of you calling me the love of your life has me in a chokehold.

but one day i'll forget you and i'll forget how to forget you. you'll be another distant memory of a boy who i could've loved if the universe allowed it. and i'll be perfectly fine with it.