During the weekends, I tend to stay in my room and not leave. I don't mind the hunger or the thirst. I don't even go to the restroom. I sit on my bed and try my best to block out the words with music. Even when Gabe pounds on the door or when I can barely move from hunger, I stay in my room. Fear doesn't leave, and neither do the words on my wrist. The ones he carved into my back are easily ignored; I don't see them 24/7. But that four-letter word was written on my dominant hand, and my brain didn't want me to forget it. I kept it always wrapped, not bothering to clean the bandages or wound itself. I was too scared that once I saw it, I would agree and be unable to beat down that side of my mind.

You have to get through for mom. Do it for her. I clenched my teeth as I felt tears start to well up. No, no, no, no, no, not happening. Don't prove Gabe right. Come on, Percy!

It was no use. I was feeling hopeless; I couldn't deal with it. I took a shuddering breath as tears streamed down my cheeks. Once they started, the tears wouldn't stop. I couldn't get them to, no matter how much I pep talked. I bit my lip before I could let out a sob.

I moved from my bed and rolled to my feet, stomach screaming for some food. My wounds yelled at me to lay down and sleep, but I couldn't do it. I needed a distraction. I needed to go to a party.

Free food and blaring music, not allowing you to think. Sounds like a plan.

I walked over to my small window and looked at what I was wearing. I haven't moved since Friday night, so I was still in those clothes. Groaning, I changed my shirt and pants into a random combination and threw on another black hoodie. Going over to my desk, I took out a small makeup kit from a drawer and pulled the hood off my head. The bruises on my neck mostly faded, but the black eye and other bruises on my face were still fading and showing up. Sighing, I tried my best to apply the makeup to cover them.

After around fifteen minutes of trying to cover bruises, I looked good enough to go outside and not raise too many questions. Sliding open the window, I snuck out of the house, making sure I left my window open for when I came back home.

I grunted as I slid out of the window and landed on my feet, my stomach eating its walls, trying to find food. I held my stomach as it growled. Wincing at the sharp pain, I stumbled onto the sidewalk and walked in the direction of last week's party. The same kid always threw one, his parents didn't care, and they were loaded. Without knowing it, that kid's parties have become my main intake of food every weekend.

I walked down the winding blocks and tried to appear as if I wasn't starving and in pain. Thankfully as I stumbled along the road, I eventually turned down the street with the house, music beating down the street.

Smiling to myself, I stumbled across the street and walked into the house, teenagers were dancing or making out, and music blared so loud I couldn't think. Breathing in the alcohol and smoke almost made me choke, but I gulped down my air and maneuvered towards the food table.

Grabbing a plate, I loaded it with chips and cookies. Throwing a sandwich in the pile of food on my plate, I walked to the backyard. There were even more kids, but there was a lot of space, so I could find a corner to hide and eat in peace.

As soon as I sat down, I inhaled the food. Feeling content but still starving even as I ate. But I knew that this amount was the only thing I could stomach after eating so little for so long without puking it up.

Taking a shaky breath, I looked around as random upbeat music blared in my ears. Teenagers were eating, talking, dancing, anything you could think of. A few already drunk, laughing hysterically, and a few sat down at a table, not drinking. Probably the designated drivers.

I shuddered as my wrist tingles. I tried to block out the words as they started swirling around my head. I focused on the music, trying to find the chorus to sing along with and distract myself. It worked for a while. The song continued to change, and I wasn't sure how long I sat there singing softly to myself and telling my brain to shut up, staring down at the grass. Suddenly feet came into view. My breath hitched as I realized how trapped I was.

"Hey, Percy, is that you?" I flinched as a voice spoke. Wait, I know that voice. It was soft and not at all arrogant like I expected it to be. There was no distinct smell of alcohol either. Confused, I looked up and almost squeaked in alarm. Annabeth was standing over me with a confused look on her face.

"Um, hi Annabeth" I tried my best not to sound how I felt, weak, defeated, sad, but I'm guessing that the facade didn't pass all the way through like I wanted it to.

"The party is almost over. Do you want a ride?" Thank the gods she didn't ask me what was wrong or what I was doing sitting in a corner quietly singing to myself.

"Uhh, no, I'm good, I'll walk home, thanks though" I didn't move, and I looked back down, watching her feet, waiting for her to leave me be. But her feet turned, and she walked next to me and sat down. Confused, I looked at her. Why didn't she go hang out with her friends? Why stay with me, who is obviously the mood killer?

"All my friends are either drunk, tipsy, or somewhere in between, I hope it's ok if I hide with you," she explained her reasons, but I felt that she also felt obligated to sit with me. I beat myself up. Why couldn't I just act like everything was fine and not wear everything on my face?

"Oh, um, yea, it's fine," Cue awkward silence as I struggled to think of something to say. I couldn't just continue to sing to the awful music that had been slowly turned down as if to remind people that it was nearing the end of the night.

"I didn't peg you for the party type," she started, and I quickly thought up a counter. I couldn't just explain that I came for the free food and to get away from my house. Sure, some teenagers do, but I didn't want to seem even more pathetic to her.

So with my most intelligent answer, I just stuttered out an "Oh, yea," but thankfully, my mind caught up a bit, and I diverted the spotlight from me to her.

"Do you come just for your friends, or do you enjoy parties?" Yes, score one for Percy, an actual well thought out question that didn't just get blurted out.

"Oh, a little bit of both, I guess. My friends like to party, and since I like hanging out with them, I tend to follow them to a lot of parties. I've learned to enjoy them."

I nodded and peered over my scrunched up knees at the backyard. Only a few teenagers were still outback. This kid ran around in circles and showed no signs of stopping as a girl stood a little bit off to the side and shook her head, giggling like a maniac. A couple was sitting at the table. The guy was tipping the chair backward, teasing the girl who was sitting on his lap. She squealed every time he leaned back far and threatened to make them both fall.

Annabeth sighed as she shook her head and looked away from the four teenagers.

"In case you were wondering, those are my friends. Sorry about this week; they went off on their own little adventure to learn more about you. The kid running in circles is Leo, the girl laughing at him is Calypso, his girlfriend. The guy in the chair is Jason, and the girl in his lap is his girlfriend, Piper. Today I'm the fifth wheel. I don't mind; there are more people in the friend group; it's just they couldn't make it this weekend." Annabeth continued to ramble about how she was sorry for how they acted during the week and how she would try to reign them in more.

Then Jason seemed to lose his grip on the table, and he fell flat on his back, Piper falling with him. Suddenly Leo tripped and fell flat on his face, and Calypso looked like she was trying and failing to not fall on the ground laughing.

"Ok, when they start falling is when they need to get into a vehicle. That's what I've learned; if they can't stand, it's fifty times harder to get them in the car, "Annabeth mumbled to herself as she stood, dusting her pants off. She walked over to the couple at the table and started helping them to their feet. With a start, I realized I should probably help her.

Scrambling to my feet and feeling my body parts protesting the action, I walked over unsteadily to Annabeth. I grabbed under Jason's arms and helped pull him off the chair, and placed his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh, Percy, you don't have to help-" Annabeth started.

"No, it's fine. I need something to do anyway" I cut her off and leaned Jason's body weight on my side. Wincing as his body pressed bruises, and followed Annabeth, who was helping Piper through the house.

Bypassing partying teens to the front door, we walked down the street a bit and stopped in front of a small black car. I looked warily at Annabeth, and she sighed. She probably knew what close proximity with four drunks in the same vehicle would entail. I swallowed my words and helped Jason into the backseat. Annabeth placed Piper next to him, and we buckled their seatbelts.

We walked back to the house in silence, listening to the deafening roar of the music as we walked through the living room. Arriving in the backyard, we found Leo and Calypso stargazing while holding hands. As we walked up, I heard Leo say how a constellation looked like broccoli tap dancing.

Huffing, I slowly pulled Leo to his feet. He protested, calling us colorful names as he explained that he just wanted to look at the stars.

"See? They're harder to move when they touch the ground" Annabeth sighed as she spoke over Leos rambling.

Calypso didn't resist much. She was obviously much soberer than Leo and allowed Annabeth to help her through the house without much trouble.

Leo, on the other hand, put up a fight. It was like he thought I was taking him to be executed. Leo grabbed every door jam, and I had to pull with my non-existent muscles to get him through the house. Through the resistance, he managed to hit every section of my body that was developing bruises. Besides my face, I had good enough reflexes not to get hit by those exchanges. At some point, I gave up trying to help Leo and just lifted him like a sack of potatoes, which is probably around the same amount of weight.

When I finally got to Annabeth's car, she was buckling Calypso into the front seat and was standing up. She looked at me with amusement as I walked over to the vehicle with a kicking, yelling Leo slung over my shoulder. I had enough foresight to put him on my right shoulder, so not too many extra worries there.

After a little more resistance, I managed to get Leo into the car and a buckled seat belt. I sighed as I closed the door and looked towards Annabeth. She was leaning on the car, trying not to laugh. I sighed as I looked at her.

She cleared her throat. "Thank you for helping me out. Leo is the hardest to get to go home," then she walked up to me and hugged me softly. Surprised, it took me a second to realize what was happening. She was half a head shorter than me, so it wasn't too awkward as I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back.

She let go, and I released her.

"Well, I should get these guys back to the house. I would offer to give you a ride again, but I'm not sure you want to be sandwiched between three drunk teenagers in the backseat" She chuckled, and I felt myself melt just a bit.

I smiled at her and waved as she walked over to the driver's door. "Bye, Percy, thanks again."

"Bye," I softly replied as she swung into the driver seat and started the ignition. The car slowly moved out of its parking place and moved down the street. When it was around the corner, I turned in the opposite direction and started my slow walk home.

Throughout the walk, I thought about how Annabeth had hugged me. I haven't really been hugged by anyone besides my mom, and it honestly felt really good. Her hair smelt lemony, and she was gentle when she hugged me. She didn't squeeze or make me feel trapped when she did it. I felt oddly safe in her arms, and it was strange. I haven't felt safe since the time my mom hugged me a few days ago.

Then it hit me like a brick. I don't realize how terrified and on edge I am. Whenever I'm alone, at home or school, I always feel a sense of paranoia and fear. Like something is behind me that someone is going to start throwing punches.

But that moment, when Annabeth hugged me, my guard immediately fell, and I completely relaxed. I was confused. I never let anyone get so close too fast. Always keep them at a distance and make sure that they can't hurt you. But Annabeth bypassed all those defenses before I realized I needed to throw them up.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to rid the hug from my mind. It only meant something to you because you're touch-deprived. Annabeth probably thought nothing of the hug. You're just overreacting like always.

I opened my eyes and saw my house, making my blood run cold in my veins. The feeling Annabeth gave me disappeared. That safe, guardless feeling went away as I threw up my walls. Fear gripped my mind as I slowly walked around to the back of the house. Looking over my shoulder every so often as I walked behind the house, I expected to find Gabe with a belt or knife, seething in anger.

But every time I turned and looked, my breath caught as I realized it was just me imagining things. Breathing shakily, I looked and saw my open window. Checking my surroundings one last time, I tried to get through my small window as quietly as possible.

Once I dropped into my room, I closed the window and walked over to my bed. I looked around my dark room and grabbed my headphones. The door was still locked and shut. I laid down on my bed, content with my stomach full of food, as I shuffled a playlist and fell asleep.