Happiness and joy can be seen on my face. I've been grinning and blushing like crazy after my second date with Sebastian, well who wouldn't right? It's my first kiss and the point that the man I loved for more than a century kissed me was enough to make my whole week full of grinning and joyful atmosphere.

Because I'm a fillial daughter I told my family about it. My dad was livid wanted to cry but lacked tears. My mom and my sister was a whole lot different, they are crazy to the point that they wanna celebrate it with our relatives and friends. It's just a kiss and they made it so complicated.

Engagement parties.

My friend Tim and his fiancee Ashley was having their engagement party and I was invited too. In the past, I have gone to many parties and even engagement parties for the aristocrats.

It usually took months for them to prepare the party. Coordinators are always in the mansion discussing something's that are in need to decide for the party. I didn't experience it while some of my sister has which I am thankful for.

Choosing a dress is always and will ever be difficult for me. My mom and sister usually choose my dress but they still have their own job. Mom works at a bakery shop because she loves cooking and my sister is on her last year in University.

Now I'm stuck.

I don't have any idea about dresses and makeup and sorts. Glancing at the clock it shows it's already past 5. The party starts on 6 and I have an hour to figure this shit out.

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I finally found a dress that is formal but not too much for an engagement party, I can finally breath. Wonder how I found a dress in the last minute.

Of course I Google it.

I just buy a dress with the cheapest price in the internet. I choose a dark blue almost black off shoulder dress ending past to my knees which I am grateful for. I also found, I mean steal a pair of silver heels from my sister's collection. French braiding my hair wasn't an easy task too. Google really helps me when I am in need of fashion advice.

Arriving at Ashley's house or should I say mansion they ushered me at the backyard where the party is placed.

You could see small lights flickering from the top looking like fireflies. The garden makes it more beautiful as it is. Tables lined up and people chatting away with one another. Some can't even resist the slow tempo of the sound as they dance to it's rhythm.

The party's not that festive but the atmosphere is definitely calm and joyful in a silent way. Until the engaged couple comes through the dark wooden door, the calm was instantly vanished into things air. People cheering them and teasing the couple. Smiling at the sight I wonder what Ashley feels tonight? Would I also blush and feel like I obtained the world or not? Shaking my head to stop my thoughts, I took a seat and listened to the sound of the music in the air.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize someone was sitting beside me. Looking down, I see a black tight pants and with a muscular arm on top of the table, it took me a second to know that it's a man. Trying to be chill, I look around for a moment and I caught a blue eyed man on the corner of my eyes.

It was familiar.

Facing him my face lose it's color, hands started trembling at the face I am facing right now. Deafening silence engulfed me. I wanted to shout, scream at the world right now but my lips are sealed, still quivering from the fear. The fear that is already seeping through every pores of my body.

He held his hand out but I didn't touch it. I didn't dare to so I run.

Not looking back I half run and half walk. Opening the doorknob of the bathroom, my hands are still shaking so I try to put a stop on them and breath.

Breathe

Filling air with my lungs my hands stop trembling but the fear is still there. Even a dog can smell my fear from a distance, that's how fearful I am.

Finally, I let my tears fall out, no longer caring about the makeup and dress on me. I let it all out, all the emotions thats been buried for years. The pain and desperation I feel from my both life.

Why?

Why?

Is it so hard to fulfill this one wish from me. An I Abad person so I'm being punished right now. I've done many good things from my past and present life.

Isn't it enough?

If he's here, then......... She's here.

She's here.

The girl I envied, to receive so much love from his brother and family, especially from him.

She, the epitome of beauty with her golden locks, eyes so blue like the vast sky in the summer days and her smile that can make anyone sad to become happy. She was a lady from a literary family and the most beautiful girl that was acknowledge from the palace. She was the envy of many woman and the goddess of every man.

He,Sebastian, and she was a perfect match. Childhood sweethearts and have known each other for many years, they are the golden couple. The two of them was praised and loved by many people. I didn't know that when I met him for I was a lady who is always in the inner courtyard and was only teach by my teachers and mother to be a graceful lady who only need to learn how to pleas their husband and manage the household.

Facing the mirror, I look at the girl reflecting her face. Her eyes were puffy and it was smudge with mascara. Nose still red and a face that is still pretty.

But not pretty enough.

Not when she's here.

I'm never enough.

A woman whose foolishly inlove with a man she just met.

A woman whose tired.

Tired of everything.

But still trying.

My breathing changed and suddenly I passed out. Before that I heard a voice towards me, shaking me and waking me up. Closing my eyes to welcome the darkness.

The darkness whom ifear, but is now my companion.

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