"Fresh blood, eh?" Mr. Wickers, or Alfie as he had frequently told you sat his lunch tray across from yours and followed suit onto one of the hard-plastic stools that lined the tables.

"Yes." You nodded whilst shovelling forkfuls of what the cafeteria called 'food' into your mouth, as the newest teacher at Abbey Grove you had instated a lunch-time history club so time wasn't a commodity most days of the week.

"So, what are you teaching?" He asked, unzipping his Alf lunchbox which had the letters I and E scrawled onto the end of it in black sharpie revealing a poorly wrapped sandwich, a tube of yoghurt and a fruit shoot.

"Well I have spent a large portion of my life studying gender throughout the years, so Mr. Frasier put me on history, some sort of gender equality initiative or something. A job is a job though." Alfie carefully unwrapped his sandwich, the crusts had been removed and it had been cut into little triangles.

"Oh my god!" Alfie replied, looking shocked.

"I know, history. What do you teach?"

"Oh no, not History, my dad cut my sandwiches into triangles instead of squares. I swear that man can't take simple instructions, everybody knows that squares taste better." He dropped the sandwich back into the foil and eagerly tore the top from the yoghurt.

"You do teach here don't you?"

"I teach history as well... what a little coincidence oh my gosh! Well, I like to call it herstory instead. Girl power and all that." Alfie looked very smug as he pushed the dairy treat up the plastic tunnel and into his mouth.

"Right... think of that little phrase all by yourself, did you?" It was not the drinks turn, he fought with the plastic cap, struggling to remove it, eventually he asked you for help.

"No actually, I read it in cosmopolitan." He must have caught your confusion has you handed him back the drink.

"I mean... I read it in NUTS, yeah. Can't get enough of all those... manly magazines, I wouldn't read cosmopolitan." You could hear his voice slowly get deeper and deeper as he miserably failed to prove his masculinity.

"So you read an article in NUTS about the focus on women throughout history?"

"Well actually I think the actual article was how to make a cocktail to improve your mans sex drive, but I'm sure the phrase was in their somewhere."