《Because Of The Journey.》42.
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"Nicole!", I called after her. "Please don't go, please" I pleaded. She just stood there and looked at me. I went ahead and held her hand leading her back to the bedroom.
"Did he touch you?", she asked. I was hesitant at first because I honestly didn't want her to feel pity for me.
"Yeah he did. He had his way with me and had the nerve to pick me up and go place me in my room. He then left me there, feeling hopeless and dirty. I was full of hate, for him and my mother but most of all I was tired", after saying that she looked down and both her hands made fists. Her veins were popping out, visible enough that she was mad.
"I didn't want to talk about it because I wanted to forget about the incident, but lately the things happening around me just make it hard for me."
"He's the reason behind you moving out?", she asked still facing down. "Yeah, I just wanted get away from him. I never trusted him from the beginning and from all the things I thought he was, he proved me right. I'm sorry", I was fiddling with my hands the whole time I spoke.
"Baby, look at me" she said then came closer to me holding both my hands. "You don't have to be sorry. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at him. He's supposed to be a father, he's supposed to protect not take advantage. He's supposed to look after his loved ones not violate their space. Men like him don't deserve to breathe, they don't deserve to live, they just don't deserve life."
"Here's the thing, I don't know what you are going through right now, I can't feel the pain you feeling but I can feel the pain of being a woman. The pain of being vulnerable and always living in fear. Trust me things will be fine. I just don't know when, but I know God will pull through. I hope your mother is Okay, we have to go see her baby", she finished off by kissing my forehead.
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All this time listening to her I'm thanking God for giving me a girlfriend like her. I'm glad she understood me and made me feel better. Honestly talking about this made me feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. My heavy heart became a bit more lighter and I was grateful for that.
"We should, I mean who knows what he's doing to her. I don't want to think of the worst. My mother can be hardheaded at times and we used to argue about little things but that made me realize that she's still my mother, hardheaded or not she's my blood", I said releasing a huge sigh. "I love you Nicole", "And I love you Shanice" I then hugged her.
"Everybody said that you let me down,
Hesitation bring the "you" around,
Makes no difference what you used to do,
I can never be ashamed of you,
I could never, I could never.
Maybe you were reckless yesterday,
I'm convinced you know a better way,
I know that Some would judge based on what you've been through but,
I could never be ashamed of you."
She sang to me wiping tears I didn't even notice had fell from my eyes. It was safe to say she was my safe place. Her love to me, felt like Sanctuary love. A safe haven for me because I was experiencing it. A love like that I swear no one wants to lose but just hold on to it. Those were my intentions but my other intentions were to create a love that's warm enough for the both of us.
"Baby?" I said. "Yeah?", "I got a task for the both of us, you down?" I asked. "You already know", she said smiling. "So I know some of the things that you went through and you know too. I want us to work I really do, and for that to happen we need to understand each other more than anything. Each one of us will write down their intentions, their fears, their weaknesses and triggers so that we can both help each other get through them together. Yeah?"
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"Yes ma'am, I love that. We on", she said smiling. "You know I was listening to a song this other day. I didn't know the artist nor it's tittle. What I knew was it was just written for you. From when the instruments came on, the lyrics all the way till the end", she spoke and her words tasted sweet. They were of colour not just black and white.
"I was smiling all along just thinking about you. My mind went back to the day we first spoke, the day we both didn't know will bring so much happiness in our lives. You watered me and made me feel alive again. Now as you said this, I realized that I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here", she finished off.
At this moment I just thought about when Partynextdoor said "I showed love to my whole women but never loved like this, No one wants to lose a love like this," I was deep in it bro.
- 18❤.
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