《Najlepsze teksty, cytaty, rozmowy》15
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Policjant zatrzymuje samochód, którym jadą trzy osoby.
- Gratuluję - mówi policjant - jest pan tysięcznym kierowcą, który przejechał nową szosą.
Oto nagroda pieniężna od firmy budującej drogi!
Obok pojawia się reporter i pyta:
- Na co wyda pan te pieniądze?
- No cóż - odpowiada po namyśle kierowca - chyba w końcu zrobię prawo jazdy...
Żona kierowcy z przerażeniem:
- Nie słuchajcie go panowie... On zawsze lubi żartować, gdy za dużo wypije!
W tym momencie z drzemki budzi się, siedzący z tylu dziadek i widząc policjanta zauważa:
- A nie mówiłem, że skradzionym samochodem daleko nie zajedziemy!...
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- In Serial102 Chapters
A Dream of Wings and Flame
Kobolds cower at the bottom of the foodchain, forced to eke out a meager existence in the most wretched of caves. Most have made peace with their lot in life; one of eating scraps and carrion. They hide and run from predators, delaying the inevitable day when they aren't fast or sneaky enough to make their escape. But not Samazzar. Sam is different from other Kobold pups. Traps and caves might keep him and his people alive, but sometimes, just living isn't enough. The blood of dragons pumps through his veins, and Sam isn't willing to settle for mere survival. Whether by claw, magic, or cunning, one day he will soar above the plains, predator rather than prey. And nothing, be it the mockery of his tribe, the hazards of the deep caves, or even the almost insurmountable difficulty of successfully evolving his bloodline, nothing is going to stop him. Join Samazzar and his boundless optimism on his quest to throw off the shackles placed on his tiny scaled body by fate so that he can claim his birthright once and for all. - - - - - Kobold design by Faewild Coloring/Everything Else on the cover KrazeKode
8 462 - In Serial46 Chapters
Twice Lived
Previously called Standard Reincarnation Story In a fraction of a moment, the Earth was no more. The planet was destroyed, and billions and billions of people were dead. And it was all an accident. This is the story of Elm. A regular American born once on earth and given a chance to be reborn again on a planet with magic and monsters and dungeons. Except that for Elm, this is far from the idealistic reincarnation into a loving family -- the standard story of a child raised by loving parents who teach him the ways of the world, Instead, Elm is born into a family of inquisitors. An order of nobility that is dedicated to hunting down and killing "Twice-Lived" -- the name society has for people like Elm who are reincarnated with all their memories of their past life intact. Disclaimer This story is: 1) Extremely violent and graphic. 2) Still in a rough draft stage. I see what I am writing more like a synopsis than a fully fledged story. I periodically will go back to flesh out earlier chapters, build characters, etc... If you find the words "Show don't tell," comforting accept that unfortunately, I'm not at that stage of the writing process yet. 3) At one point this story was called "Standard Reincarnation Story," and I had written an extremely off-putting description of the story. This was mostly to keep out people who would just read the silly first few chapters then rage quit as soon as the violent stuff got started. Since I just had my first .5 star rating (without a page read count increase) that technique is not working, so I might as well treat this as a regular fiction and try to get regular readers.
8 210 - In Serial37 Chapters
Jake and the Dynamo
THE UNIVERSE IS OUT TO GET HIM. BUT THE UNIVERSE HAS MET ITS MATCH. Jake Blatowski just wants to go to high school, but when a computer glitch assigns him to the fifth grade, he has to sit next to the perpetually surly troublemaker Dana Volt, who's bent on making his life a living hell. However, Jake soon discovers that Dana is secretly a member of a coalition of young girls tasked with protecting humanity from the forces of evil. Not only that, but the deadly monsters plaguing the city have chosen a new target, and that target is Jake! Now Dana is the only one who can save Jake from certain death—and Jake might be the only one who can save Dana from herself. Also available on: WattpadScrigglerPatreonAnd check out our TVTropes Page!
8 366 - In Serial12 Chapters
Rite of Souls
Ben recently graduated and is unsuccessful in the job hunt. In order to clear his head and perhaps find some solutions, he decides to volunteer as a supervisor at a religious summer camp. He quickly finds out he might be in over his head when he gets paired up with a pair of siblings, of which the brother openly rejects him for his lack of faith. Luckily, the sister is more understanding. As the group starts to prepare for the start of the camp, his body freezes and a notification pops up marking the start of the system. Follow Ben in this new world full of stats, beasts, and promises of power. My thanks to @Jack0fheart for the amazing cover art! [participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 192 - In Serial10 Chapters
The Survivor From Snowdrift
Emerencia grew up trained by her Uncle as a swordsman in a isolated village deep in the mountains called Snowdrift. Emerencia's father who successfully ran the Snowdrift Iron Mine suddenly started making low production of Iron Ore for the kingdom. After a third low production delivery of ore, a Vaesite general himself commanded his soldiers to burn the village to the ground along with killing all of the villagers. Emerencia wakes up in a puddle of melted snow just outside her uncle's house surprisingly alive. As Emma leaves her village to seek revenge, she also gets to see the world for the first time. She even makes new friends who start to feel like family. Most importantly, Emerencia learns how cruel the king and his soldiers really are.
8 119 - In Serial21 Chapters
Getting a Common Game Ability on Normal Life [Revised]
This was based on my other story, since i made a mistake somewhere in the middle and the story kinda became generic. ** Suddenly, without explanation, a transparent screen appeared in front of random people around the world. They were bestowed with cool abilities like, [Fireball], [Heal], or [Summoning]. Some used it for the greater good, others for their own benefit. However, some had meh ability Like my sis, she had [Daily Spin] that allowed her to get a random gift every-day I knew another guy that had [Spicy Breath] spewing fire from his mouth whenever he ate something spicy As for me! i had [Mini-map] as my ability! like what the hell! seriously!? Now I’m stuck with a box on the top right that blocks 1/16 of my vision… Right, i didn't forget to mention about monster right? I do not own the image, I put random images from the internet and photoshopped it And feel free to criticize me, at least point out where I make the mistake ^^ Danetello helped me making the description! Follow my patreon at https://www.patreon.com/KidyZ Also i have a discord channel https://discord.gg/KYC8yM If you have interesting idea about common tropes in video game feel free to join in ^^
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