《Wot you sayin'?》Punching Above Your Weight
Advertisement
One of the good things about being a guy is that we can, I say we, but guys like me, can wear something simple, like a suit, comb our hair and just go to a red carpet event. Of course, there are some who take meticulous care of their appearance. I can name at least one person like that.
Girls, again, generalisation, have to do so much more than guys. There's makeup, the right accessories to go with the dress, what kind of dress they're going to wear, the shoes, the hair. I thought since Dianne was making an effort to look even more gorgeous than she already is, I'd better make an effort to complement her.
That was especially so because I wanted to use one of these pictures as our announcement picture. I'd noticed that some outfits I've worn she's really liked. Wearing a suit and these glasses go down really well with her. But if I do say so myself, it was a good idea for me to use this time to tell the boys about us.
Oli: Whoa! Are you actually saying what I think you're saying?
I chuckled.
Depends on what you're thinking, mate
Caspar: He's answered, boys 😲
Josh: Welcome to our lives, Joe.
Oli: Can we just address the real matter at hand? Are you going out with Dianne?
I decided to be pedantic.
We're going to the Pride of Britain awards with the rest of the Strictly crew, but we're not going out yet.
Oli: That's not what I meant and you know it.
Mikey: Spit it out Joe. You leaving us hanging
Joe: You're* not you
Mikey: What the hell you on about?
Never mind. Yes, Dianne and I are together now. We've recorded the foxtrot reaction video and we're mocking the press, pretending we're not seeing each other. I just wanted to clear things up with you guys.
Advertisement
Oli typing... Caspar typing... Jack typing...
Jack: You're punching, aren't you?
I am, aren't I?
I scrolled through the list of emojis. Oh well. This will do.
😊
Josh: Oooooh. Someone's in lurrrrve
I laughed. Little did they know...
Jack: He didn't even deny it!
Mikey: That picture can't be real. Someone as gorgeous as Dianne can't fancy someone like you. That's got to be photoshopped.
That was harsh
Connor: Yeah, that was uncalled for.
Mikey: I'm sorry 😔 I didn't mean it harsh. I'm just shocked though.
Connor: You're digging yourself a deeper hole
Yeah.
Quit while you're ahead.
Jack: Besides, that photo looks too authentic.
Josh: Not to side with Mikey, but Joe can do anything. He's got skills
Jack: Finally Josh is talking some sense.
Shut up, Josh. No one wants your opinion
Mikey: Yeah, Ginge
Oli: No one wants your opinion either, Mikey
It's only playful banter
Caspar: So when did you get together?
I thought about it and just decided to type:
A few days ago. One of the days we were training for our foxtrot
Caspar: Something tells me that was just after your first kiss.
He's got to know me too well. Well, he used to be my roommate. That's no wonder then.
Caspar: Am I right or am I right?
What are we? Teenage girls or something?
I laughed at that.
Oli: Go on. Don't bother hiding it
Connor: Yeah, spill
Jack: Yeah. Go on
Mikey: Tell us
Caspar: You heard us
All right! All right
Josh typing... Oli typing... Caspar typing...
I'll tell you
After our waltz
Then a few days later we had a good chat about it and realised we both wanted to go out with each other
Oli: I KNEW IT! Mikey, you owe me
Caspar: What did I tell you, Josh?
Advertisement
Josh: Yeah. You were spot on. I thought it would be the week before. You were giving each other giant 😍 It was pretty obvious
Connor: Mikey thought you were purely platonic
Mikey: Hey, stop using fancy words. Only Joe is clever enough to understand that word
Oli: I do
Jack: I do
Mikey: Oi! Jack you only know because your Connors bro
I shook my head. I need to do a spelling bee with Mikey and Dianne. I wonder who would win.
Caspar: I know what it means
Josh: Me too
It didn't surprise me at all that they'd started placing bets on us
I'm going to go now. I've gotta be somewhere
So much for that. I got a phone call from Mikey. He apologised again and Dianne helped my case when she shouted as she came down in some of my clothes, "Joseph, I'm done with the shower. Where's the hairdryer?"
"See, I told you she wasn't photoshopped."
Sometime during our phone call someone hung up (probably Mikey) and Dianne and I carried on our conversation.
Advertisement
- In Serial72 Chapters
Right Side of Hell
Albus Dumbledore was sure he made the right choice sacrificing an innocent child. Too late he understood how terrible that mistake was. Harry Potter was not what he wanted him to be, he was not what the magical world expected him to be. He was not a replica of James, instead, he inherited more of Lily. Far too much to be convenient.
8 823 - In Serial14 Chapters
Little Beirut
Walter is a tanuki in a fictional version of Portland inhabited by animals. Nearing middle age, Walter has a comfortable career in TV news, which allows him to indulge his more expensive tastes. He has a big house, a big car, and a big reputation. After a spat with his girlfriend ends with injury and a trip to the emergency room, Walter finds himself nearing a mid-life crisis. While his professional life has never been better, his private life begins to race out of control. Impulse purchases, rebound relationships, a renewed sense of youthful recklessness all begin to quickly threaten his peaceful life of solitude.
8 78 - In Serial7 Chapters
HOPE Engine
A world on the brink of war, absent parents, and no friends sounds like a disaster unless all you ever wanted was to live inside your virtual reality pod. Meet Severo, a fresh-eyed graduate, as he joins the ranks of new players in the HOPE engine, but quickly finds out that everything isn’t as advertised. An unnatural enemy is rising, more glitch than feature, that not even the highest level players can stop. A noob like Severo doesn’t stand a chance! Right? But with his starter village in the enemy’s warpath, he better figure something out! Before that, he needs to learn that NPCs are sentient, friends are needed, and food in fantasy games sucks! Oh yeah, and pick a class! As if all that wasn’t enough to worry about, outside of the VR pod, real life is starting to have its own technical difficulties...
8 124 - In Serial20 Chapters
Bride of the Dark Lord
She was destined to die for her people. He was born to end lives. With just a touch of his bare hands. ----------Xemein has known nothing but distress, for the last six years. And now, to end her anguish and that of her people, she was given the task to murder a man that had proven countless times, that he couldn't be killed easily. The Dark Lord. And so, she was wedded to him, with a mission. Kill the Dark Lord and your family and people will be safe forever. And now, she has been given to him in marriage. What will happen now that she's confined in his lair and completely unprotected against his charms? Will she fulfil her mission and save her people? Or will she choose winning the Dark Lord's heart over everyone she's ever known and loved?
8 128 - In Serial95 Chapters
The Little Black Book for Girlz: A Book on Healthy Sexuality
Check it out: not just a book about sex, but a look at girl culture by youth themselves. No stuffy school textbook. No nosey adults. Just a diverse group of teen girls from a community youth project who had questions about sexuality. To find answers, they collected stories, poetry, and artwork from other youth. They also interviewed frontline health experts to get solid facts about the stuff young women have to deal with.It’s a great mix of real-life examples and life-saving info. Topics include: • Relationships • Periods • Sex • Birth control • Pregnancy • Sexually Transmitted Infections / AIDS • Sexual assault.Everything has been vetted by doctors, and the book is endorsed by health professionals, so you know you’re getting good info. There’s also a section at the back with places you can contact to find out more.It’s all stuff that youth need to know, and it’s all decked out in a compact, easy-to-browse ’zine style. The Little Black Book for Girlz is a super-important, take-anywhere empowerment guide for girls. Don’t leave your teen years without it.
8 81 - In Serial17 Chapters
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE LONELY.
to those who feel so utterly alone, ©2022 @uranium-girl/ tw: mental problems, self harm /highest ranking: #1 in poetry 02.02.2022
8 135

