I've been nervous all day. I left my phone home just so I wouldn't be tempted to call her back.

I'm sitting in my office preparing for this transaction we have scheduled today. My assistant Melanie is taking the reigns with assisting this one.

We're going over the account plans, research, production, sales, media and possible contracts. —Yep a full days work.

"Just want to make sure everyone's clear on the plan so there is no room for error." I stated to her.

"Well their company is already out there, this will open them up nationally. Which means more money." She said while slowly licking her lips.

Why can't you get it through your head? I don't want yo' ass.

I nodded. "That's the selling point. They need to know what could be and stay away from what they don't have. The more thorough we are the quicker we can land this."

"This will bring us right above quota. We have the spacing for their brand. This shouldn't be a hard sale." I added.

"It'll be a matter of negotiating airtime, which I agree we have a great offer on the table." She stated.

We worked up until lunch, she offered to join me and I again just like usual declined.

I decided to walk down the street to this little cafe. I ordered a turkey deli sandwich and a cup of coffee. I didn't get any sleep last night.

Heading back to the office I couldn't stop thinking about how much this was going to hurt Rai. I've been real stupid, I knew this shit wasn't going to work before we even started. I don't even know if this relationship is healthy for her anyway. She just had a suicide attempt. I feel like this is the best decision, to break up. So she can focus on herself.

I decided to go to my dads office and talk to him. Heading up to his office I notice my assistant about to get on the elevator as I was getting off.

"Hey, wasn't expecting to see you." She said nervously laughing.

"On my way to my dads. Shouldn't you be preparing to meet with the prospect?"

"On my way there now, just have a couple things to handle first." She smile and hurried on the elevator. I'll ask her about that later.

I knocked on my dads door and he let me in.

"What's up son, everything ok?"

"I need to chat with you."

He gestured for me to come in further and I went and sat down.

"You look like you were busy?" I asked him before he regained his seat.

"Not really, what's going on? Let me guess it's about Raina?"

I squinted my face nodding.

"What's up?" He asked while tightening his tie around his neck.

"I gotta' figure out how to let her go." I sighed.

"Her age?"

"Basically, she's about to graduate. She doesn't need to be tied down to me."

"Where is this coming from?"

"Whatchu' mean?" I asked quickly.

"Last I check you were all, nothings going to break us not even distance. I love her so much she means everything to me." He said mockingly. I sighed again.

"So what's the problem now, be straight?" He asked.

"See take you and mom for example, it's different. You were well into the start of your career and mom was doing her residency. Y'all didn't have these types of barriers, but there is an age gap between y'all nonetheless. Y'all just met at a later time in life."

"We had our own barriers trust me, especially with your grandfather. He never thought I was good enough for your mother. We're— I guess ok now but in the back of my mind I'll always know that's how he feel." He had pain in his eyes. I stared at him trying to read him.

"You ok pops?"

"Yeah, go on." He gestured with his hands for me to continue. I was hesitant but Ima' brush it off—for now.

"Mike sort of put things in perspective for me yesterday."

"What did he say?"

"The same thing, she's seventeen, starting school, going away for the summer. He's thinking I slept with her. He told Raina she could no longer see me."

"What makes this time different from when he first found out, that didn't stop you from seeing her. Not saying you should or shouldn't see her but what's different?"

"It's starting to sink in. I don't want her to be wrapped up in my world and forget about herself. She was doing fine without me inserting myself in anyway. We didn't think about the future."

"This is tough, but do what you think is best. Don't drag it out. If this is how you're feeling she deserves to know it."

"I feel like this is the right thing to do. I plan to tell her, I talk to Mike yesterday. He's bringing Raina over so I can break it off with her."

"I can tell it's been killing you. You look exhausted."

"I've been stressing it. I don't want to hurt her, nor do I want to do this shit." I shook my head leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah."

I paused. "Thank you for this though, I mean that pops."

"No problem."

"Not a lot of people can say they have a relationship like we do. You don't judge me, or my situations and I'm grateful."

"We raised you to be that way, so when you do have people close to you they will feel comfortable enough to say anything."

"Right." I agreed.

"We all have to live in this fucked up world together, so there's no need for judgement. Hell it's sad people do it anyway. Which only makes life that much harder." He added shrugging out of frustration. Yep something's definitely bothering him.

"Yep, also if no one cared what other people thought of them life would be easier too. That's the number one killer. I don't care how much success you have or money you make, you won't ever be happy if that's what you worried about."

"Exactly son." We both nodded in agreement, chuckled at the fact we veered away from our discussion.

"I better get out of here. I have some calls to make." I hopped up.

"Alright let me know how things go or if you just need to talk, I'm here. I love you son."

"I love you too pops."

I walked out heading back down to my office.

"Can I speak to you?" I asked my assistant, gesturing for her to come inside my office.

"Sure." She stood up.

We got in and I closed the door.

"Have a seat." I suggested and she did.

"Could you explain to me what that was about upstairs? Why were you being suspicious?"

"I'm not exactly sure of what you mean Mr. Adams."

"What were you doing on that level?"

"I was meeting a friend for lunch."

"Oh." I said not wanting to pry in her personal business, and give her the wrong idea.

"Is there anything else?" She asked giving me a forced a smile.

"No that's it, what time are you leaving for your meeting?"

"I'm actually about to head that way now."

"Ok, keep me posted."

"Will do." She mumbled as she walked out closing the door behind.

I made a few calls and left notes for the following day. It was now going on four o'clock so I guess I better get going.

****

I got home, showered then started dinner. I foiled up some salmon in the oven, put on some brown rice and steamed a vegetable medley.

As I was turning everything off my doorbell rang. I took a deep breath and exhaled.

I opened the door to see Raina and Mike. I let them in and slowly shut the door behind. I sent up a small prayer, asking for strength.

"Hey." I mumbled taking a few steps closer to Rai. She was directly in front of me.

"Hi." Raina responded and Mike stood beside her quiet.

"Y'all can come in and have a seat." I said staring at Raina, she was confused. She also look slightly irritated, I guess since I didn't answer the phone. We went over to the living area, she sat beside Mike and I sat across from them.

"What's this about?" She asked.

"Y'all want anything to eat or drink, I made salmon?"

"No we're good, if you could just get to it." Mike rushed.

I sighed. "I need to have a moment with Raina, could you give us some privacy?"

Mike was about to get up but Raina stopped him, so he stayed. I could see tears starting to form in her eyes.

Damn I don't want to do this.

"No you sit,—now say what you need to say so I can leave. This is not cool. Y'all had this planned so now I'm looking stupid. I've been calling you and texting you all night, then you turned your phone off." She went on to say as tears started to fall.

"Raina I'm sorry." I pleaded

"Just go ahead." She snapped, looking at me while wiping her eyes.

I sighed. "We have to end it."

"Ok, if that's all then we can go."She said quickly. Mike held his head down.

"I'm sorry Rai, —I love you and I don't mean to hu—"I pleaded but she cut me off.

"Let's go." She yelled out angrily with more tears streaming down her face. She quickly wiped them and stood up.

I shook my head staring at her hoping she wouldn't stay pissed at me.

With shame and guilt plastered all over my face, I tried to walk up to her but she sped up heading for the door.

"Shit." I mumbled. Mike looked back shaking his head then walked toward Raina.

"I'm sorry Rai. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for all this to happen like this. I never wanted to hurt you."

She ignored me, she opened the door and walking straight out, Mike followed. I just let the door close behind him. I went to lock it, then stood looking through the window at them getting in the car. They backed out of my driveway.

I went back to the kitchen and fixed my plate then sat it in front of me. I just stared at it for awhile. I was blank, I couldn't think about anything or feel anything at the moment.

"Fuck." I yelled while pushing the food away, it landed on the floor.

I continued to sit with a blank stare. Usually when I'm upset or pissed about something I feel pissed off. This was different. What makes me any different from the motherfuckers who raped her, who ruined her childhood? I should have never pursued her. I knew her age, I knew she just needed to focus on her self, but I did it anyway. This one's on me, —but it's been the best five and half months of my life though.

I got up and looked down at the mess then started cleaning it up, I discarded everything. I put the dishes in the dishwasher and started it. It's definitely straight to bed for me.

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