I'm back at Mikes helping him set up for the engagement party. I think it kind of got turned into something bigger than what he planned for. It's a suit and tie event, so everybody was in there best.

All of Leah's old co workers and some of her new ones were here, Mikes too. I think a few of Mikes cousins from Kenya were invited. Then of course the squad and whoever else they invited.

We put in the finishing touches and everybody started showing up.

"Hey let me introduce you to my girl." Troy said walking up to me.

"This is my girl Cyrene, Cyrene this is my dumb-ass homeboy A3."

I looked at him like he was stupid. "Troy I already know Cyrene."

"I know but you don't know her as my girl, so I'm letting you—" He turned around in a circle with his hand out pointing at everybody. "And all these other niggas know that she's takin'."

"Troy you're damn so dramatic, hey Adrian how have you been?" Cyrene greeted me.

"I'm good, so this is really a serious thing? You and Troy?" I smiled, pointing between the two of them.

"Yeah we decided to stop playing around. Plus he kept nagging. I felt pity so I said why not." We chuckled,Troy didn't find anything funny.

"Now hold up, you know you begged to be with me. Stalking me, blowing up my phone. I text you back one time and now I'm in a damn relationship."

"Kiss my ass Troy." She playfully hit him on the back of his head.

"Oh I plan to trust me-"

"That's if I let you, since I begged to be with you. I'll make you get on your knees and give me that work, but that's only for when I feel like it." She stated. These two act just alike, I honestly don't know how they do it.

"You all talk anyway." He looked at me getting my attention. "She flew in from Kenya to see me didn't she? That's a long ass flight. So yeah you begged."

"Ok, but don't let me bring up last night, you were damn near crying. Talking about baby you don't understand the way you make feel, I'm miserable with this long distance shit." She mimicked him.

"Man you be going too damn far, shit I was just playing with yo' crazy ass. And nobody was crying over you so you can stop that."

She smirked.

"You know my sisters here." She said to me, changing the subject.

"I saw her and I'm not going there. So you can stop plotting."

Most of their family didn't even know I was with Raina, I'm sure if they did she wouldn't be still trying to get me with her sister.

"You're single and so is she what's the problem?"

"Oh that is right, you don't know A3 was with Rai. I don't know why I assumed you knew." Troy blurted.

"Wait what?" She looked at me confused.

"Really Troy?" I sighed.

"Hell I didn't know it was a secret." He shrugged.

"It wasn't, but yeah I was with Raina."

"Oh wow. She never told me that." She thought for a second. "You know what, it makes sense now. When she was in Nairobi this summer her and Mike got in to it, when your name was mentioned."

I slowly nodded turning around looking to see where Mike went, I found him. I walked toward him to see if he needed me to do anything else. I didn't want to hear about anything pertaining to Rai.

"Everything look good. I appreciate you helping me put this together bro." He dapped me up.

"No problem."

"I see KJ and Xan are doing ok." Both of us looked in his direction.

"Yeah man, he's already starting to be more independent. He's starting to talk a little more too. He takes care of Xan for the most part."

"That's good, so money well spent then right?"

"Yeah it was worth it, you know I'll do anything to make his life easier. No matter the cost."

"Oh I know you would." I nodded.

All of a sudden Mike was speaking and my attention was drawn to this huge wave of nervous energy that crept on me. I turned and looked toward the back door and it was Raina.

The moment I turned around our eyes met instantly. Mike looked in that direction as well. I was stuck for a moment.

Damn she was even more beautiful now than ever.

"Mike I'ma' go ahead and head out."

He looked at me briefly, I think I seen a little guilt in his eyes. I'm not sure though, I could be wrong. He nodded his head.

When I was walking toward the door everybody was greeting her.

"What's up Rai?" Amina asked.

"Raina, I didn't know if you were actually coming or not." Leah said walking up to her.

"Yeah I figured I would surprise you, this is pretty major. Oh and I needed to meet the new edition to the family Mr. Xan."

I walked passed her not even paying attention to her glancing at me. I went in to the house to head out the front door straight to my truck.

I got in and sped off. Seeing her brought back all those feelings. I've been doing fine without her here. Why did she have to be there while I was? Nobody said anything about her coming, I assumed she wasn't since her and Mike still weren't speaking.

Damn she look so good though. She had on this beautiful cream colored dress that was all sparkly and everything.The whole look went perfectly with her even chocolate skin. She had her hair in those long ass sexy braids. Her face was glowing. The whole look was sexy. Her ass even look like it got thicker.

I missed the hell out of that girl everyday. She looked real good and I can't say that enough. I'm glad to see she's doing well. It makes this whole break up shit worth it. As much as it pains me.

Sometimes I would think about how if we had just started talking now everything would be cool. I could've spoken to Mike and he would've had to learn to be ok with it. All that age bullshit wouldn't matter. I'm twenty-three, she's eighteen now. I've seen people in relationships with much bigger gaps than that.

Sometimes I regret breaking up with her. Maybe if I would've kept fighting for her and figured out a way. Or if we could've just taking a break or something at least until she got in college good. —She probably met someone else and moved on completely by now.

I'll never know. That part of my life is done. You can't have everything you want in life. I remember mama Laurie once told me a quote and it was random as hell. I mean it was out the blue. She said, 'fair and unfair goes hand and hand, life is a balance of both. Your sacrifice will be someone else's gain, but is it really a gain?' I will never forget that. Maybe that was her way of speaking on that talk we had about Rai and I. This is the only way everyone can be happy, if I sacrifice my happiness.

I pulled into my driveway I got a phone call. It was Chance.

"Hello."

"Hey you left already?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Oh damn. Are you good?" He was shocked.

"Yeah I'm good." I replied in a nonchalant way.

"They got your favorite spot catered. You want me to bring you a plate?"

"That Nola spot, it's tempting but I'll pass." I replied.

"Alright man, you sure?"

"Yeah, but good lookin out though —that's not my scene, I'm trying to stay as far away from her as possible." I figured I would say that even though he didn't ask about it. He's the more wise one of us all and the oldest he got Mike by two years, me by three.

"I hear you, but don't do all this just to avoid stuff. Y'all will cross paths again eventually. Is this how you want it to be?"

I didn't say anything, I couldn't.

"So this is how things are going to be now? When Raina come around, you leave?" He somewhat repeated.

"Look, Mike and I already smoothed things over. I don't know how to be around her anymore so I choose not to. I'm moving forward not backwards." I replied hoping he understood the situation, because I really don't like talking about it. Even though I brought it up. Damn

"I don't know A3, you've never been the guy to just avoid things. Just to keep the peace. This is your idea of peace? I think it's a little coward like. You've known both Rai and Mike for along time. You can't just let it go on like this. — So you and Mike are only good to a certain extent?"

"That's your opinion."

"It's clear you still love her, I just hate to see you like this man. I really do. I don't want to push this too much but give it some thought. Things shouldn't have to be like this, you've been here all day helping to plan this party and now you can't even enjoy it." He added.

"Yeah. I'll talk to you later." I said a little irritated.

He sighed. "Alright man."

I ended the call. I understand the squad being frustrated but it's not their problem. Chance was shocked like everybody else when they found out about my relationship with Raina. —At least he did get to see us genuinely happy when we were physically together.

I'll probably just workout and hang at home. Can't go to my parents they're still acting weird and in denial about something.

Chances words started replaying in my head. I'm just trying to be the bigger person so everybody can be happy.

I went to the workout room and burned some calories on the treadmill. I stayed on there thinking about all the good times Rai and I had.

I went and sat on one of the benches near the weights and pulled out my phone scrolling through all my old messages I had saved. That was something I did a few times before. I had never been in love before her. I've dated and been in relationships but I never felt what I felt with Raina, with anybody else.

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