Soleil absentmindedly stared at the beige, front door as she sat at the bottom of the steps — contemplating whether she was able to go another week without food in the house. She finished out the last of the groceries last week, and had been getting by on noodles and microwaveable dinners.

Unfortunately she beginning to run out of that as well, and wouldn't have anything else to eat after it was gone. She went grocery shopping once a month by herself every month, and waited until there was absolutely nothing left; forcing her out into the world that she desperately wanted to avoid.

Soleil started to get up and head back up the stairs, not wanting to make the trip to the store in the Daytona heat. However, before she could move a muscle, the quiet room was interrupted by the growling noise her stomach made, indicating she couldn't go another day without eating.

She sighed and got up from her spot, and walked towards the door. She grabbed her house key from off the of the latch on the wall, and unlocked the door.

Stepping onto the front porch, the crisp, dry air surrounded her. The coolness of her skin was beginning to fade as the sun beamed down on her, instantly making her squint her eyes as they tried to adjust the brightness outside.

She locked up the house and turned around, her eyes briefly glancing at the driveway that had been empty for the past two months now. It was still something she had to adjust to, given the fact she was so used to seeing her brother's car parked in it.

She quickly looked away, feeling the burning sensation as tears rushed to her. She proceeded to slip in her headphones, to help prepare for her journey. As she walked out of her gate, she passed by some of the neighborhood children that were playing, and riding in the streets on their bikes.

They all waved to her as she passed by them, causing her to crack a small smile and wave back to them.

It was currently the beginning of August, which meant summer was getting ready to come to a close. The children were out enjoying their last week of freedom, before it was time to return back to school in the fall.

It was a typical day in Soleil's neighborhood, the elders sitting out front on their porch talking amongst themselves, as they watched the kids played. Fathers either tending to their yard, working in their garages or washing their cars.

Soleil went to Apple Music, and chose a podcast to listen to occupy her mind, since the store was about a fifteen minute walk from her house.

"Hey Soleil!" she heard someone shout her name, before she could press play on the podcast. She looked up from her phone and turned towards the voice, seeing that it was one of her neighbors, Ms. Jean, waving at her from her yard.

"Hi, Ms. Jean, how are you?" she spoke, pausing in front of the gate. As Ms. Jean approached the gate, she embraced Lei, patting her lightly on the back.

"I'm fine baby, out for a walk?" She questioned her, placing one of her hands on her hips.

Soleil nodded her head, "Yes ma'am, I'm going to the store to get a couple of groceries. How's Rocko?" Lei asked, referring to her twelve-year old golden retriever.

"Good, good. He's doing a lot better since the surgery, thank God for that." Ms. Jean told her, "It's a little too hot out here to be walkin' all the way down there to the store Lei, my grandson's back in town and he'll be staying with me for awhile, he can take you. I don't want you fallin' out in this heat."

Soleil tried holding back a smile, but failed miserably at doing so. Since the passing of her brother a few months ago, Ms. Jean and a few other of the older women in the neighborhood had been her support system. While she did have her family, her parents stayed on the other side of the city, as her sister lived in New York with her fiancé.

They talked every day through phone calls and text messages, however, it wasn't the same as having someone physically there to help ease her through the grieving process.

Once news broke in the neighborhood that her brother had passed away, her neighbors made sure to check in on her, now that she was living in the house by herself.

At the same time though, they knew to give Lei her space. They noticed the changes in her as the weeks passed on, she was much more reserved and closed off. Before the death of Xahir, Lei was a social butterfly and had a lively personality that most people gravitate to — hence why the neighbors were concerned about her.

"It's fine, Ms. Jean, really. I haven't been out of the house in awhile, I need to stretch my legs. Thank you," Soleil assured her, backing up a little.

"You sure?"

Soleil nodded her head, giving her a half smile. She waved goodbye to her before proceeding down the sidewalk, pressing play on her podcast. She kept the volume low, just so she was able to still hear her surroundings.

Another five minutes, Lei passed by the basketball court that was in neighborhood along with the park. She saw a few guys playing on the court, as children played on the playground that was a few feet away.

"Nigga my mama threatened me, she wanna make sure your mom is there." Siraj laughed, sitting in the driver's seat of his car, that was parked on the side of the road next to the basketball court.

He had just gotten off of work and was passing through the neighborhood, before he finally went home for the day. He was in the middle of letting his friend, Blue, know that his family was having a cookout the upcoming weekend before summer was officially over for the children.

"Yeah cause you know they like best friends and shit, but I'll make sure I'll tell her. I know for a fact, I'm comin' through. I ain't had no good ass cookout food in a minute," Blue shook his head, practically salivating thinking about the food.

"Hell yeah," Siraj agreed, as he texted his baby mama back, letting her know that he was on his way. As Blue rested his arms on top of the car, he glanced around at his surroundings, and noticed a familiar face on the opposite side of the street, walking down the side.

"Ayo," Blue tapped the inside of the door, keeping his attention focused on the girl. "Ain't that our boy li'l sis?" he asked, gesturing across the street.

Siraj quickly looked up from his phone and glanced across the street where Blue was looking, seeing that it was indeed Lei that was walking down the sidewalk.

"Yea' — aye, I'll fuck wit' you later." Siraj said, slapping hands with Blue. He looked in his side mirrors, making sure there weren't any cars coming before busting a U-turn in the middle of the street.

He pulled up on the side of her, slowing down to match her pace. She hadn't seemed to notice him yet, as she was occupied on her phone, and had her headphones in.

Lei could feel a presence, causing her to pause her podcast, and glance up from her phone. Looking to the left of her, she saw the familiar white BMW, instantly causing her to start mugging Siraj. "What do you want?" she asked him, attitude filling the tone of her voice.

"Where you going?" he questioned her, ignoring the fact that she was giving him attitude.

"To the store, why are you following me? You look creepy as fuck," she continued to mug him, Siraj opened his mouth to say something but she stopped him. "I don't want a ride either, so you can go ahead."

Siraj deeply sighed, aware of where her anger towards him was stemming from. "Come on Lei, I won't feel right leaving you to walk to the store alone." he groaned, speeding up a little as she started to pick up the pace.

Lei ignored him, refocusing her attention ahead. She begin to slow down, once she noticed the group of boys up ahead. She mentally cursed to herself, not wanting to be bother by them.

She recognized the boys from the next neighborhood over, they hadn't given her any problems in the past— given that her brother did have a reputation, and most respected him enough to not fuck with her.

However, Lei did wonder to herself if her brother's name still held weight in the streets now that he was deceased. She knew the boys to be a little passive-aggressive towards women. She could handle herself well, as her brother somewhat use to bully her when they were younger to 'toughen' her up.

Siraj followed Lei's gaze, also seeing the group of boys as well. One of the boys pointed towards Lei, the rest turning around to look at her. Lei immediately paused, feeling uncomfortable from the amount of attention.

"Get in the car Soleil," Siraj told her, this time in a more authoritative manner. Lei obliged, stepping off of the sidewalk, and getting into the car.

As soon as the door closed, she quickly reached for the seatbelt, and fastened herself in. Siraj watched her for a brief second, before pulling onto the street towards the store that was merely ten minutes away.

An awkward silence lingered in the atmosphere of the car, as Siraj didn't technically know what to say to her. Since the passing of Xahir, he hadn't seen Lei since the funeral.

Given the physical appearance of Lei, he was starting to feel a little more guilty. He saw the bags under her eyes, seeming as if she hadn't been getting any sleep lately. He could feel the negative energy that was exuding off of her, which was starting to make him uncomfortable.

Weeks after Xahir died, Siraj found himself slipping into a depression. Xahir was like the brother he never had, whenever you seen one, you seen the other.

They had grown up together since their freshman year in high school. Beside his sisters and of course his mother, Xahir was the only one who knew every secret he had.

Unlike his other friends, Xahir was someone Siraj could count on, there wasn't anyone who he would put over him. It was as if they shared a limb; if one moved with the left leg, they were taking the next step with their right leg together. If Xahir was the heart then Siraj was definitely the veins that brought the heart blood. Their bond much deeper than anything anyone could comprehend.

He felt as if apart of him also died when he lost Xahir, it couldn't bring himself to pass by their house, or visit Soleil — like he should have been doing the moment Xahir was buried.

It was hard enough, having to sit next to his sister that damn near resembled him.

"How you been holdin' up?" Siraj finally asked her, breaking the awkward silence.

"You would know if you bothered to stop by." Lei sassed him, crossing her arms over her chest, staring out of the window at their surroundings.

Siraj bit his lip, deciding to leave her alone. The rest of car ride was silent, Siraj didn't want to make it any more awkward than it already was. He pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store, and turned into an empty parking space close to the entrance.

Lei unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car, she started to walk towards the entrance until she heard another car door shut.

She peeked behind her and saw that Siraj had gotten out of the car as well. She raised an eyebrow, stopping in her tracks. "Um, what are you doing?" she sized him.

"I'm not leaving you here Lei, hell I look like letting you walk back with groceries in your hand?" he stared at her with weird expression, Lei bit her tongue and continued to walk towards the entrance.

Lei grabbed a cart and started to walk up and down the aisles, grabbing the items that she needed. Siraj followed behind her from a distance, not wanting to intrude too much.

Siraj's phone began to ring from inside his pocket, he reached into it and pulled out his phone, Ximena's name displayed across the screen.

"Yeah, love?" he answered.

"Hey, can you stop to the store and get me some pickles?" Ximena's heavy southern toned voice, spoke through the speaker.

Siraj chuckled slightly, walking out of the aisle. "Seriously? Pickles? I'm surprised you still be craving them shits, yo' ass ate them heavily during yo' pregnancy." he said.

"I thought so too, but they're so good." Ximena laughed.

"I got you though, I'm at the store with Soleil right now anyway." he told her, grabbing a jar of dill pickle slices off the shelf.

"Oh? How is she?" she asked him, concern filling her voice.

Siraj let go of a deep breath, glancing back at Lei who stopped in front of a shelf that was filled with crackers. "I don't know honestly, she doesn't look too good — but I mean who would, after just losing their brother?" he explained, proceeding to follow behind Lei again into the next aisle.

"Right, exactly. Just try to be there for her, you guys could probably use each other more than ever right now, honestly. Y'all both lost someone close to you —you of all people, with the exception of her family, should know how she's feeling right now." Ximena preached to him, she had known Lei for a few years after meeting Siraj.

She saw her as a little sister, the two usually hang out whenever the guys were busy doing their own thing together. She felt bad that Lei was going through it, and wasn't sure if she had anyone to confide in.

Though Siraj didn't confide in her about Xahir's death, she knew it was eating him alive. She could tell he wasn't okay deep down inside, despite the facade he put on for the sake of their son.

"I know, but..." he profoundly sighed, trailing off. "She's angry wit' me, which is understandable cause I haven't been checkin' on her. We was close before Xahir died but I feel like those two months really put a strain on our relationship. When she looks at me, I see a lot of — I don't know, coldness in her eyes. This shit definitely changed her." he vented.

"I think you should just give her time, and space of course. Don't pry too much, but let her know she still have you. Try talkin' to her about it, after all you were grieving as well Siraj, I'm pretty sure she'll understand."

"You right, I don't think now is the right time though. She gotta warm up to me a li'l again," he said, watching as a guy approached Lei. "I'll be by there soon though,"

"Okay, be safe."

Siraj ended the call, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He could see the visible annoyed look that Lei sported on her face. He started to approach the two, hearing from a distance that the guy was trying to shoot his shot with her.

What bothered him is that the guy seemed to be in his early thirties.

Lei was only twenty.

"Aw come on, your boyfriend don't let you have friends?" The guy grinned, as Lei stared at him as if he were stupid.

"Nah, especially not with no nigga that's probably in his damn thirties. Get the fuck out ha' face," Siraj frowned, the guy remained quiet, walking away from the pair.

"I can handle myself, Siraj," Lei shot him a look, pushing the cart out of the aisle. "I don't need you stickin' up for me."

"And I didn't say that you couldn't handle yourself, Soleil, but I'm not gone stand there and let no grown ass nigga harass you." he defended himself, following behind her into the checkout line. Soleil didn't speak another word, as she started to put the items onto the conveyor belt.

Siraj sat the jar of pickles down with the rest of the items, Lei shooting him a weird look. As Lei continued to clear out the cart, Siraj brushed past her and pulled out his wallet.

"What are you doing?" Lei paused, placing her hand on her hip, glaring at him.

"Do not argue with me, Soleil," Siraj quickly replied, knowing she would try to argue him down over who would be paying.

Once again, Lei bit her tongue, pulling the cart past him. She began to load the groceries into the cart, as the cashier finished ringing up the items.

Once Siraj was done paying, the two walked out of the grocery store, towards the car. He could tell by the way Lei walked, she was annoyed with him.

Pressing the button on his key, to open the trunk. He started loading the bags into the trunk, but as he did so, he could feel the intense stare he was getting from Soleil.

"Why are you doing this?" She finally asked him, trying to figure out why he was being so nice. She knew any other guy wouldn't have taken the time out to do what he did, at first she thought he would stop talking to her, once she realized he hadn't made the effort to reach out.

"Because you're my best — was my best —" Siraj stammered, he paused and ran his hands down his face, before looking her dead in the eyes. "Despite Xahir being gone, that doesn't mean I'm gone turn my back on you. I'm not that type of nigga, we made a promise to each other that if something were to happen to other, he'll look after my son, and I'll look after you. I'm not gone break that promise to him —especially when I know you probably need me the most right now." he finally confessed to her.

Soleil's eyes became glossy with tears, but she quickly blinked them away. "Well, you're kind of two months late." she bitterly laughed, walking off towards the front of the car to get in the passenger seat.

Hi.

Bye. 😂

💙