let the mess beginnnn, icy gang! 🤣

A few weeks had passed and it was now Thanksgiving break. Joziah and Keia returned home the weekend before break, though they weren't going to be able to spend the holidays together, they made sure to spend the week prior doing their favorite activities.

So far, Lei had been occupying herself with her mom's daycare, deciding that she would need something to do during the daytime so she wouldn't be alone majority of the time.

However, she wasn't alone at all, whenever she was finished at the daycare, Raj would spend the night at her house or vice versa. The two had become closer than ever, that Lei was beginning to think that it was becoming official between them.

Raj hadn't made his move yet though, wanting to make sure that the both of them were ready to be in a relationship. So far, Lei had taken the initiative to show him that she was serious about being with him, and that he was the only person who had her attention.

It gave him comfort knowing that the energy and time he put in with Soleil, was being reciprocated by her. She was like a breath of fresh air, especially after dealing with Ximena for such a long time, and her toying around with his emotions.

"Ms. Lei!" One of the children, Madison, called to Soleil in the playroom. She paused from picking up the blocks and putting them into the bin.

"Yes, dear?" She turned around to face her, seeing that she was holding up a piece of paper. "Ooh did you draw that?" she started smiling, crouching down to Madison's level.

"Yes," Madison cockily grinned.

Lei pointed at the paper, tilting her head. "Who is that?" she asked, trying to hold back a laugh as she continued studying the poorly drawn stick figures. She always found it quite humorous whenever children tried to draw their families.

"That's me, my mom, my dad, my sister and my dog!" She pointed at each drawn family member. Lei lightly laughed, nodding in understanding.

"You did good, your family is going to love it." Lei playfully poked her tummy. Madison skipped away, as Lei returned to picking up the rest of the blocks.

"Hey, Soleil," Kayla, one of her mom's employees called to her. Lei slid the container onto the shelve before turning around again. "Your mom wants to see you in her office,"

"Okay, thank you." Lei walked away towards the front of the building where her mom's office was. She knocked a few times on the slightly ajar door before walking in. "Yea' ma?"

"Shut the door," Vanessa instructed her, grabbing the stacks of folders off of her desk and putting it onto the file cabinet next to the desk. Lei did as she was told and shut the door behind her.

She sat down in the chair in front of the desk, her mom folded her hands on top on the desk, giving Lei her full attention. "How you holding up?" Vanessa questioned her, Lei deeply sighed sinking into the chair.

"I'm okay," Lei replied.

"I can tell you're not, Soleil." Vanessa grimaced, watching as her daughter twisted her lips to the side, avoiding eye contact with her. "You know you can come stay wit' us until break is over, I don't like the idea of you being alone in that house."

"I'm not always alone, I have Siraj."

"Right, and that's good he's been around. But what about when he has to take care of business concerning his own life and with his family?" Vanessa raised an eyebrow, Lei remained quiet, shrugging her shoulders. "I just don't want you feel like you have to go through this alone, Soleil."

"Right," Lei muttered, running her hands over her jeans. "But where was this energy three months ago? Y'all didn't seem all too concerned about if I was fine after the fact. Granted, I knew y'all were grieving as well but to go a week without checking on your own child, is quite funny to me."

"We haven't really spoken about it, because we know it's still a touchy subject to speak on and we want to give your space — give you time for when you want to talk about it yourself." Vanessa explained, gesturing towards her. "We didn't want to force you into therapy either, because I know you're not too fond of the idea of opening up to someone you don't know. I know it may seem like we didn't care after his death, but we had the neighbors keep an eye out on you."

"You rather random folks check on your child, than to actually do it yourself?" Lei scowled, raising an eyebrow as she finally locked eyes with her mom. "Have you had this talk wit' Selah as well, or are y'all just worried about me because you think I can't handle being on my own?" Vanessa deeply sighed, leaning back into the chair, running her hands down her face.

"You're right, that was our mistake. We handled the situation poorly at the beginning. But Soleil, you have to understand that you're our youngest. You didn't have much independence, before you moved out, you were dependent on us, when you moved in with your brother, you were dependent on him. You weren't — still aren't working, you're living comfortably right now because we pay the bills there. And this is not to make you feel bad Soleil, we know you're working extremely hard to make it on your own so you won't have to depend on us."

"You and your brother were very close, that we often joked about how much he acted like a father to you than Xavier." Vanessa ranted, slightly chuckling at the last part. "What I'm saying is, you don't think I notice but I do. You have bags under your eyes, you're moving more sluggishly, you're much more reserved than usual. You told me you wanted to wait until January to start working here, but you're really looking for a reason to avoid the elephant in the room."

"I can see it in the way you move, this isn't healthy Soleil. This is me being concerned now, because I'm seeing the change in you — in just the time you've been here. So I'm going to tell you again, if you want to come home, then you know you can."

Lei sighed, rubbing her temple. "I'm fine mama, like I said, I have Siraj. If it makes you feel better, he makes sure everything is fine wit' me because he knows how hard this is to be spending my first holiday without Xahir." she said, getting up from the chair, beginning to head towards the door. "Are there any more concerns or? Lunch is about to start soon, and I gotta help prep."

Vanessa stared at her with a hardened expression before shaking her head 'no'. Without another word, Lei walked out of the office and headed back down the hallway.

The rest of the work day flew by, once all of the children were gone, Lei helped clean and sanitize each room along with the toys. Lei didn't speak much to her mom after their discussion earlier in the office.

However, Vanessa kept a close eye out on her, despite her daughter saying that she was fine. She hated that Lei couldn't talk to her or her dad about Xahir's death. When he passed away, Lei distant herself from her family that they had to do popups a few times to make sure that she was still alive.

Though Lei was returning back to her social self, they could tell she was still dealing with the grief, on top of dealing with the anxiety and physical pain from the car accident.

Vanessa was glad that she at least talked to Selah, Siraj and her friends. It put their minds at ease, knowing that if she wasn't getting emotional support from Xavier or her, she was getting it from them.

"Call me later," Vanessa kissed Lei's cheek, as Lei had her things in hand, ready to leave. Lei hummed and waved goodbye to her, before walking out of the building.

She walked towards the car and got into the passenger seat, shutting the door behind her. "Hey," Lei spoke, strapping in her seatbelt.

"What's up, baby?" Raj greeted her, leaning over to give her a kiss. "How was your day?" he asked, pulling off out of the parking lot.

"It was okay," she replied, quickly glancing at the backseat. "Where's Maj?"

"Mena picked him up today, and why just okay? You feelin' alright?" he peeked over at her, looking her over.

"Yea' I'm just tired,"

"Them kids wearing you out?" he teased her, the corners of her mouth curled into a small smile as she looked at him.

"I'll watch Maj over these kids, any day." she joked, as they both shared a laugh. "Nah, but some of them aren't so bad. A few of them took a liking to me already, some of them are sweethearts."

"That's good baby, at least you know what you'll be dealing wit' once you start officially in January. They'll be familiar wit' you," Raj said, approaching a stop sign, waiting for the other cars to go. "I have to ask you something,"

Lei turned her attention onto him, watching him as he drove. "Can you watch Semaj tomorrow? Me and Mena gotta handle some shit to get him in VPK for when he turn four this year." Raj explained.

"Of course I'll watch him," Lei agreed, Raj's hand now caressing her thigh.

He snuck another glance over at her, seeing that she was still staring at him. "You sure you okay?" he continued looking back and forth between her and the road.

"Mhm," she hummed, placing her hand over his and locking their fingers together. "I'm ready to take a nap,"

"You gotta go by your house and grab some stuff?" he questioned her, she nodded and checked her phone as it vibrated in the pocket of her purse.

It was Selah, checking on her as she usually did. However, Lei felt as if this time were different, knowing that her mom was probably still uneasy about their conversation from earlier.

She never meant to come off bitchy towards her mom, but it bothered her that her mom was now deciding to have that discussion with her months later after the fact. Her parents never really sat her down and asked her how she was doing, in fact, they didn't talk much about Xahir's death at all.

Lei didn't fault them too much, because deep down inside she knew that they were still trying to cope with losing their only son. A child isn't suppose to pass away before their parent.

She especially didn't expect her dad to speak much on it as well. He was a reserved person by nature, so it was hard to read him, as he never really expressed his emotions. Despite how she felt about them handling the situation, she hoped that they were coping in the best way that they could and were getting each other through it.

"Are you hungry?" Siraj snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked at him, noticing that he was at the stop light, gazing over at her. "Did you even eat today?"

"I didn't," Lie answered truthfully, Raj sucked his teeth, staring at her with a stern expression. "I wasn't really hungry today, Siraj."

"Well you better be now, cause you need to eat something." he lightly squeezed her thigh, Lei remained silent, deciding that it was best to not argue with him on the issue. "What you wanna eat, ma?"

"Chipotle,"

"Lucky I like yo' ass cause I hate driving over there," he scoffed, leaning back into the chair.

"If it's out of the way, I can just get something else—"

"Nah, you good love. If that's what you want, you'll get it."

The following day, Lei was at Raj's house, watching Semaj as planned. Siraj and Ximena left earlier, leaving the two to play and goof around for hours. Raj checked in with her, making sure that they were alright and if she wanted him to bring them something to eat for when he returned.

Lei sat on the couch on FaceTime with Joziah, as Maj occupied himself with his tablet next to her. He was filling her in on the drama that was taking place with him and his boyfriend.

"So, his dad kicked him out? I thought his dad was past all of that homophobia? Or was he just putting on for you?" Lei questioned him, trying to make sure that she understood the situation at hand. Joziah hummed, nodding his head as he deeply sighed.

"Yeah, it's like he's okay wit' his son being gay in the comfort of their home but when they're around his friends, he acts different. Like he's embarrassed by the fact his son is gay and his friends are going to judge him and his parenting. It's complete bullshit," Joziah vented, Lei grimaced as she adjusted the Airpods in her ear, hating that her friend was stressed out all over again by his boyfriend's father.

"That's terrible, if he's going to worry about what his friends think, then that means he doesn't truly accept his son for who he is. And who cares what his friends are going to think, it's not their life, and it's not affecting them." Lei replied, watching Joziah ran his hands down his face.

"Right, he told his dad that. It didn't sit right wit' his dad that he was standing up for himself, and he told him that if he didn't like it, he could get out." Joziah further explained, Lei shook her head in disappointment, letting go of a sigh.

One thing that she absolutely couldn't stand was parents having no regards of their children's feelings. Especially within the black community. She witnessed many times the arguments that took place between her friends and parents, their parents being verbally abusive towards them and belittling them.

Though she didn't see eye to eye with her parents at times, and didn't agree with their takes or actions, she was grateful they acted matured and took her feelings into consideration.

"So where is he now?" Lei asked him, shifting on the couch, sneaking a peek over at Maj to check on him.

"He's wit' his grandma, his mom told him that he didn't have to leave but he didn't want to be around his dad. His parents got into it as he was leaving."

"Dang, I hope he's able to eventually sit down wit' his dad and work out their issues."

Lei felt a tap on her arm, causing her to look over at Maj again, "Can I have some juice?" he sat his tablet down on the side of him. She nodded and got up from the couch as he followed suit.

"Lei, lemme call you back. This him calling now," Joziah told her.

"Okey doke," Lei replied before he disconnected the call. She walked into the kitchen, sliding her phone onto the counter. She opened the fridge and pulled out a Capri sun, poking the straw into the small hole and passing it onto Maj. He thanked her as he grabbed it out of her hand and began to sip from the straw.

Meanwhile, Raj sat in the driver's seat, one leg hanging out of the car as they waited in the parking lot of the building. Since leaving his house earlier, the pair hadn't spoken much to each other.

It didn't bother Raj much, as they didn't have anything to talk about if it weren't concerning their son. However, Raj could feel Ximena's piercing stare from time to time as they waited.

"What's up wit' you?" Raj rested his head on the headrest, glancing over at Ximena who was occupied on her phone. She ripped her attention away from her phone and looked up at him with confused expression.

"What do you mean?" she raised an eyebrow, flipping her hair over at her shoulder.

"I feel you staring at me and shit, you got some you need to get off yo' chest?" he asked her, Ximena scoffed a laugh, playfully rolling her eyes.

"There's something different about you," she studied him closely, tapping her phone on her thigh. "Just trying to figure out what it is,"

"I got a haircut," Raj shrugged.

Ximena laughed and shook her head, as Raj started grinning. "It's not the haircut nigga -- you look good though. But it's something else, like you seem...happier, I guess?" she tried explaining, Raj slowly licked over his lips, as his mind instantly started to drift off to Soleil.

"I am," he clicking his tongue, not wanting to discuss his relationship with Lei, with Ximena. "Tryin' new things you know,"

"Is that right?" Ximena side eyed him, he hummed, taking the key out of the ignition.

"Yup, you should try it." he said getting out of the car. Ximena got out as well, shutting the door behind her as Raj hit the alarm to lock the car.

The next few hours, Raj and Ximena spent time filling out paperwork in regards to enroll Semaj in VPK for when the new school year rolled around. They were excited that their son was finally getting to go to school and learn more than what he has been taught by them and at his daycare.

As they left and headed back to Raj's place, it began to pour down. Raj parked in the parking garage, thunder erupting over the loud raindrops violently hitting the pavement outside. On their way back, Raj texted Lei to see what her and Maj were up to, however, she hadn't texted him back.

He didn't worry too much about it, as it happened a few times before. The two getting caught up in their own world. It was one of the many characteristics that he admired about Soleil, whenever she dealt with children, she gave them her all.

The pair stepped inside, and got onto the elevator to take up to his floor. As they waited, Raj began yawning, he was more than ready to cuddle up with Lei and fall asleep to the rain outside.

Once they made it onto Raj's floor, they stepped off of the elevator and walked down the hallway to his apartment.

Raj unlocked the door and stepped into the apartment, Ximena shutting and locking the door behind him. As Raj walked into the living room, he saw that Lei was passed out on the couch, Maj nowhere to be found.

He furrowed his brows, as he approached her, quickly glancing around. Ximena rushed to Maj's room, in search for him as Raj tapped Lei on the arm. "Soleil," he tried awaking her. "Soleil, wake up."

Lei stirred around a little, Raj continuing to lightly shake her awake. Her slowly eyes fluttered open, as she laid there for a second. She quickly shot up on the couch, her eyes growing wide as she realized she dozed off.

He took a step back, glancing around again. He saw that there was a pill bottle on the table, making him frown a little. He grabbed it off of the table and examined it, seeing that it was prescribed to Soleil as needed for pain. "Soleil..."

"Oh my gosh, where's Semaj?" she got up, Ximena walking out of the room, holding Maj's hand.

"He's fine," Ximena said in a sharp tone, glaring at her. "You fall asleep while babysitting? What if he had hurt himself? Or gotten into something harmful?" she gestured her free hand towards Maj.

"I-I'm so sorry," Lei apologized, her heart started to pound against her chest, the grave mistake now hitting her like a ton of bricks.

"Soleil," Raj called to her again, still holding the pill bottle in his hand. "What is this?" he slightly shook the pills.

Lei gently bit down on her lip, as she gazed back at him, unable to utter a word. "If you couldn't watch my son, you should've told me that. I would've just dropped him off at my moms house." he told her, his face visible with disappointment.

"N-no, I was fine earlier I swear, I was just having some minor pain—"

"Then you take a fuckin' advil or something! You poppin' pills around my child, knowing that shit makes you drowsy!" Ximena yelled, pointing her finger at her.

"Ximena," Raj warned her, quickly looking over his shoulder at her.