I rocked back and forth behind the shrub as I stared over at the body floating delicately in the water. My eyes stayed focused on her limp hand, moving with the current of the waves. "Self defense. Me or her. She was going to kill me." I told myself in a quick mutter. I needed to snap out of it. I needed to come back to reality. Self defense.

I finally conjured up all the courage I was able to, and made my way back over there and grasped onto her legs, pulling her from the water and onto the land. I dragged her to the willow tree and rolled her onto her back, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes. Nobody's body deserves to just lay there. I knew the body collector would be coming soon, but I felt the need to give her some sort of peace beforehand. I reached down and plucked a few flowers from a bush nearby, and lay it over top her. Even if she tried to murder me, what else was she to do?

Her blood was stained in my clothing. I had murdered somebody. I took a life. I did exactly what I didn't want to do. I did what was expected of me here and I hate myself for it.

I walked back over to my previous seat and fell back down in muttered sobs.

After a little while, a noise came crashing from beside me and I stood up, grabbing onto the katana. My hands began to shake and my knees were trembling. What the hell was about to happen now?

"Look what we have here. A deer caught in headlights." The voice mocked and I turned quickly to see the district 4 boy smirking over at me. "Where's your boyfriend?" He asked.

"Where's yours?" I spit out, without thinking. Now was not the time for my sarcastic witty remarks. I tightened my grip on the katana as he walked towards me a few more steps.

"You're not as tough as you claim to be." He told me, clearly noticing my weak knees and shakey hands. He pulled out a blade from his belt and held it up. "Come on," he signaled for me to start but I stepped backwards. "I'll even give you the first go." He nodded, grazing his eyes over my body and then back to my face.

"I don't want to fight you. Let's just go our seperate ways, nobody has to die." I insisted, giving him an alternative option, but he just proceeded to laugh in my face.

"You really are as stupid as you look, Stark." He stated and then charged me, knocking me over into the dirt. I still held the katana but why couldn't I swing the blade? I just couldn't do it.

His fist hit into my stomach and I let out a yelp in agony, as the sword left my grasp and landed further from me. His hand came crashing down once more and I screamed louder this time. "I like to see 'em suffer a little before the light goes out in their eyes." He told me, wickedly.

I glanced over to the katana, extending my arm and trying so desperately to reach the blade as he continued with the beating.

"Come on, fight back!" He let out a yell, angrily. I coughed a few times, watching the blood from my mouth spray onto my arm next to me. My vision began to get blurry once more and there was a loud ringing in my ears. I knew Seneca was probably waiting desperately in anticipation to let that cannon fly.

Finally, as I stretched just a smidge more, my fingers latched onto the sharpened blade and through pain, I pulled it to me, as it sliced into my flesh like a paper cut. As he went to hit me another time, I whipped the katana into his right temple, and watched the end come out of his left ear. Blood painted my entire being as he fell forward onto me, limp.

I couldn't move. I was petrified. I lay under this boys corpse for what felt like hours until finally, I was able to stand to my feet. But it felt like everything was closing in on me. Two people. I killed two people. Not only just people, but two kids my age. I took their lives and that was something that could never be given back.

The wind blew the trees around me as it began getting darker. My breathing began to speed up and it felt as though my heart was beating at light speed and about to burst through my chest. I coughed up more blood, realizing this could be it for me. I should have just let the boy finish me off.

"Are you happy, Snow?" I screamed into the sky as blood sprayed out of my mouth. "You've killed more children!" I dropped to the ground, coughing more blood onto the grass, painting it crimson. "More blood on your eager hands!" My head began to spin as I felt sick to my stomach. I was bent over at this point, puking up the last of that squirell I had eaten just hours before this attack. Blood and vomit soaked the green grass below me.

I'm sure the audience was having a wonderful time watching my agony, placing bets on when I'd eventually croak for good, but I had more fight in me, somewhere deep down. And I'm sure my mother was mortified and disgusted. This was not how ladies were to behave in the capitol. And Jackson. I had almost forgotten about Jackson. He was watching right now, probably pissing himself from fear. I let out a little laugh before looking up to the sky.

"I guess you weren't wrong, Jack." I let out, before collapsing to the ground once again.

I never knew what dying would feel like, but I had always wondered. And now I know. Some deaths were slow while others lasted a lifetime. I could end it now. Save myself anymore pain and suffering and just let myself take my own life. I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time someone in the games offed themselves.

No, Arizona, you're stronger than that. You can't let Snow win. That's what he wants. You can't leave just yet. You've got to make him pay. Make them all pay.

I looked once more at the bodies before realizing I was going mad.