Suzanne Collins owns the characters not me.

Chapter 13

Effie hasn't even came to see us. I haven't seen her since the Reaping. "How about your not the young star-crossed lovers. Your going into an arena as the youngest you have to seem older or you'll be considered weak. Your married. You could say that your pregnant." Haymitch says slowly.

It'll be public if I come back home. But I'm determined I wont be. I sigh. On the other hand, it could help Peeta and me with sponsors. Anything we need.

"Fine I'll lie." I say. I look over at Peeta. "Sure." he says.

"Alright it'll make you seem more deadly. Less childish innocence. Which I doubt your innocent. It's a miracle your not actually pregnant." Haymitch says laughing. Peeta and I laugh too playing the cameras. Oh the way we play cameras.

"Dinner is ready." Eiffe say. "Hello Effie!" I shout getting up to hug her. This early for dinner? Not that I'm complaining. She hugs me like she's my grandmother r something.

"Are you really married Katniss?" she asks.

"Yes. Six months. We did the marriage custom of District 12." I say sadly. "I hope your happy. Lets go." She says stiffly.

The meals subdued. So subdued in fact, that there are long periods if silence relieved only by the removal of old dishes and presentations of new ones. A cold soup of puréed vegetables. Fish cakes with creamy lime paste. Those little birds filled with orange sauce, with wild rice and watercress. Chocolate custard dotted with cherries.

Peeta and Effie make occasional attempts at conversation. All that quickly die out. I notice him constantly staring at me. Maybe wishing me to join the conversation? Maybe he's just thinking about everything that's going on with us personally. I honestly don't know.

"I love your new hair Effie," Peeta says.

"Thank you. I had it especially done to match Katniss's pin. I was thinking we might get you a golden ankle band and maybe find Haymitch a gold bracelet or something so we can all seem like a team," says Effie.

Evidently, Effie doesn't know that my mockingjay pin is now a symbol used by the rebels. In District 8 at least. The people in the Capitol find it a symbol of an especially exciting Hunger Games.

"I think that's a great idea," says Peeta. "How about it Haymitch?"

"Yeah, whatever," says Haymitch. He hasn't been drinking since Peeta told him off. He sure seems to wish he was though. Effie had them take out her wine after seeing how much of an effort he was making. He looks miserable though. If he were a tribute, he would have owed Peeta nothing and could be as drunk as he liked. Now it's going to take all he's got to keep Peeta alive in an arena full of his old friends, and he'll probably fail.

"Maybe we could get you a wig, too," I say in attempt at lightness. He just shoots me a look that says to leave him alone, and we all eat our custard in silence.

"Shall we watch the reapings?" Says Effie, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a white linen napkin. Peeta goes off to retrieve his notebook on the remaining living victors, and we gather in the compartment with the television to see who our competition will be in the arena. We are all in place when the anthem begins there is the annual recap of the reaping ceremonies in the twelve districts.

In the history of the Games, there have been only seventy-five victors. Fifty-nine are alive today. I can't believe that only a few of people got to live! I mean if Prim went in there she would have been just another death! Other people have lost their children or a Prim to them! All of a sudden the idea is just so horrifying that I can't bare it! The intriguing thing though is that I'm going to them with child. After what they have caused. I don't know why this all of a sudden makes me furious! Maybe it's because I'm pregnant. Maybe it's I finally realized all I have to lose.

I press my lips together tightly and try to not let my new found worries and growing hate show. I shake my head as if I could possibly clear them and lean on Peeta's chest. His arm goes around me naturally as if it's just how it's supposed to be. It never appears that we are supposed to be. I recognize many of their faces, either from seeing them as tributes or mentors at previous Games or from our recent viewing of victors' tapes. Some are so old or wasted by illness, drugs or drink that I can't remember exactly who they are. As one would expect, the Career tributes for District 1, 2, and 4 are the largest. But every district has managed to scrape up at least one female and one male victor.

The reapings go by quickly. Peeta studiously puts a star by the name of the reaped tributes in his notebook. Haymitch watches, his gave devoid of emotion, as friends of his step up to stage. Effie makes hushed, distressed comments like "Oh not Cecelia" or "Well, Chaff could never stay out of a fight," and sighs frequently.

For my part, I try to make some mental record of the other tributes, but like last year, only a few really stick into my scattered brain. There's the classic beautiful brother and sister from District 1 who were victors in consecutive years when I was very young. Brutus, a volunteer from District 2, who must be at least forty and apparently can't wait to get back in the arena. He makes me sick. Finnick, the handsome bronze haired guy from District 4 who was crowned ten years ago at the age of fourteen. A hysterical young woman with flowing brown hair is also called from District 4, but she is quickly replaced by a volunteer. An eighty year old woman who needs a cane to walk up to the stage.

Then there is Johanna Mason, the only living female victor from 7, who won a couple years back by pretending to be a weakling. The woman from 8 who Effie calls Cecelia, who looks about thirty, has to detach herself from three kids who run up to cling to her. I automatically feel sympathetic for her. Chaff, a man from 11 who I know to be one of Haymitch's friends is also a competitor.

I'm called. Then Haymitch. And stupid Peeta volunteers. One of the announcers actually bursts into tears. Because apparently they just now realized to odds will never be in our favor. As if it's their concern. Then she pulls herself back together to say she bets "these will be the best Games ever!"

Haymitch leaves immediately after it's over. I would too but Peeta's here so I decide to stay in place. "Well I'm going to my quarters." Effie says without any cheerfulness. Well she's came to her senses.

"Katniss how about you go to bed? I'm just going to-"

"No." I say defiantly. "Katniss you need sleep." Peeta tries to reason with me.

"I want to stay here with you." I say innocently as possible.

"You need to go to sleep in an actual bed." Peeta says moving the hair out if my eyes.

"God damn it Peeta! We have days left together. I'm staying here." I snap. "Katniss.." He says running his fingers through my hair that's all over his chest. I turn around so I can see his face.

"It's true. And it's because of them. The fucking Capital!" I sob.

"Katniss, you can't say that. They will target you even more!" Peeta exclaims.

I laugh through the sobs. "I don't even care. They are taking you away from me. What else am I really able to lose?" He raises my head to meet his.

"The only reason your here is because you care about your sister." He says to me. I gently yank my head away.

"I know, but I could have died in the arena and made it easier on everyone."

"It wouldn't have been easier on anyone except the Capital." He says taking his thumb along my face, cleaning the tears off.

"Stop crying Katniss.." He says calming.

"You know what's the worse?" I ask though either way I'm going to give the answer.

"What's that?" He asks curiously.

"That I've burdened you with all this. Last year we were sixteen year olds. Never killed a soul. Now we have killed people, about to do it again, been married and are expecting." This isn't exactly something I wanted to burden my lover with. Nothing of what I made fantasies of as a child.

"Katniss.. It's not exactly what I'd have dreamed of.. But ever since I was five, since I first saw you, all I ever wanted is for you to love me back. And I was lucky enough for that to happen." Peeta says smiling a sad smile.

"Yeah lucky then awful. I just want to say I'm sorry." I say looking into his eyes. He sighs and lifts my face up to met his again. This time I don't resist.

"Stop it. You have nothing to be sorry for. Everything that's happened is partly my fault, too. So blame me!" He shouts looking at me.

"I don't blame you! I'm worried you hate me deep inside!" I shout back.

"Why in hell would I hate you?!" He shouts equally as pissed off.

"I've ruined your life!"

"What?!" He shouts. I collapse on his chest in sobs.

"I've ruined your life. Your life would have been perfect if I didn't mess it up. I came into your life and the president wanted to kill us and our families, then I got pregnant as a teen, and..." Peeta wraps his arm around me and I can't continue, thinking about the current predicament.

"Katniss honey, you didn't ruin my life!" He says calmly but firmly.

"Really?"

"Yes! I probably ruined your life though!" Peeta ruin my life? Ha! "I didn't have a life before you! I was just living. I wasn't alive though." I say honestly.

If I don't stop spilling my guts.. "Really?" He asks curiously.

"Yes." My its cold in here.

"I don't want to lose you." I say sadly. Peeta realizing I'm cold picks the blanket up from back of the couch and tosses it on us.

"Thanks." I cuddle up closer to him. "At least you're not plotting to get rid of me." Peeta says with a laugh.

"Why would I ever do that?" I sniffle. Peeta shrugs.

"Seems like the relationship with my parents." Change the subject! My mind screams.

"Oh.. Well my parents haven't talked for years!" I exclaim. Peeta raises his eyebrows.

"Your Dad is dead, Katniss." Pretend that doesn't affect you.

"Exactly!" He laughs."What am I going to do with you?"

"Your going to kiss me." I state smiling. "You can read my mind." He says bending down towards me.

I missed this. Not feeling guilty about kissing him. I weave my fingers through his hair and kiss him back forcefully. After a minute I pull back panting.

"I'm going to sleep." I say laying my head down in his lap.

"Good night Katniss." Peeta says kissing my forehead.

"Night baby." He whispers as he pats my stomach. Peeta grabs his notebook and pen from the couch and turns on the TV. Then I close my eyes and go to sleep.

When I wake up I hear the sharp intake of breath. There stands Effie and a halfway asleep Haymitch. Haymitch is being dragged by Effie but looks amused. Why is he amused? I look around.

I'm on the couch. I fell asleep on the couch.? I look below me and I'm laying on Peeta's chest. He's awake too. Found what's amusing...

"Well... Have a good night?" Haymitch asks smirking. I try sitting up, and end up having to put most of my weight on my arms behind me. I stand up and move away from Peeta. He is sitting up too. I feel something kick me. It knocks the wind out of me. Oh I guess this is a baby kick..

"Yes I did. How about you?" I say smartly.

"Fine." He spits out.

"I'm going to change." "I'm going with her." Of course, Peeta says.

"You can't go with-" Eiffe starts.

"We are married." I spit out. Effie just gapes at us.

"Hey boy." Haymitch pulls Peeta away. He hands him some package.? Appears to whisper in Peeta's ear. Peeta nods and follows me down the hall.

"What is that?" I ask once we get in the room. "Cinna had an attendant give it to Haymitch, who gave it to me. It's supposed to cover up your stomach. Something the Captiol women use."

"It kicked earlier," I say smiling sadly.

"That's good." Peeta says smiling genuinely. I open the box, it's a flesh colored piece that has a zipper with strip of velcro on the back, but looks like it'll be covered after it's fully on.

"Help me with this." I demand. I pull up my shirt and put the cover over my stomach. Peeta fixes the back for me. Then he goes into his own room since he doesn't have clothes in here. I change clothes quickly and look in the mirror. I look a lot skinnier. Not quite normal, but not six months pregnant. It does feel tight, but I trust Cinna.

"Hey. Guess what? I'm not fat!" I scream when I see Peeta in the hall. "I can tell." He rolls his eyes.

"You've always looked beautiful." He says softly kissing my lips.

"Yeah right." I mutter. Peeta and I walk hand in hand into the dining car. "Got your fat under control?" Haymitch asks me.

"Yes." I snarl. "You know it's good that you did Katniss." Effie states. She doesn't know, does she?

"We are almost in the Capital you two slept later this time." I have to let go of Peeta's hand soon? Anything that has a no on that, I don't want to do it.

"This year you will not be smiling." Haymitch says to us.

"Smiles on. I'm especially talking to you, Katniss." Effie disagrees. I'm going to go with Haymitch. I'm already good with the audience. I don't need to win them over, so why waste a smile on them? My last smiles should be spent truly with Peeta not faking them with a dumb audience. Before I even finish breakfast though we are going through the mountains.

"I love you." I say to Peeta kissing him lightly.

"I love you too." He says after I pull away. I push my chair in and try to savor what it looks like. After all it's the last time I'll be on a train. I grab Peeta's hand as we pull into the station. Effie has us stand there for a minute. I don't smile. And that is something I'm very proud of. From the peeks I sneaked at Peeta he didn't smile either.

"I will see you at the chariot!" He shouts as we go our separate ways to get ready.

Thanks for reading!!😘

~K.D. Howell 😃😘😘!