I woke up feeling tired not from my schedule but from crying my self to sleep .

I slowly sat up looked at the date , 18th of December. I sighed as I walked to the bathroom.

After finishing my morning routine, I went down stairs to see everyone eating ." I'm going out for a walk "

They didn't say anything . They know what day it was and what I was feeling . " remember we have to perform at 12" I was too tired to answer so I just left .

Third POV

After Jae eun left the boys remained quiet.

Jae eun went to a near by park that was also near a beach . She sat in the grass , leaning on a tree . Looking around . No one was at the park . With that knowledge she began to sob remembering that day a year ago . Until someone hugged her , she opened her eyes to see him . Jonghyun.

"don't cry" she blinked and he was gone . She cried even more , hearing his voice, seeing his smile . It Killed her even more . She cried so much that to a point there were no more tears left to cry.

Exhausted she stood up to go to the beach . When her feet touched the soft pale sand . She looked up and remembered the moments she had with him ...

Performing with him ....

Laughing with him ....

Playing games with him....

Reading that letter from him ....

What made it worse was that they had a relationship that no one knew of . People thought they were just great friends. But they had a bond not even fate could break.

Knowing her only brother was gone killed her every night she spent without him .

He used to sing her to sleep when they were young , now sleeping without his lullabies haunted her dreams . To the public she was just a great friend to him , but no one knew the truth. It hurt her deeply knowing that if she ever talked about him , there were many things she couldn't say ...

So many people were hurting . The SHINee members , his friends , his fans , his family ...

She always wanted to tell the world that she was his real sister . But never found the chance . All she could do was pay tribute to him . Suddenly her phone rang , she picked it up not caring who it was .

" hey ... it's 11:30 the manager said you should come now "

"Hmm..."

She then hung up , she stood up and left the beach .

Time skip .

She was in costume for their performance to pay tribute for him . Many idols were there . But no one was really talking to each other. She got to perform the last performance. Actually many idols and staff knew that they were siblings but kept it a secret for her . Everyone was sad but they knew that there was someone in that area who was even more sad then them . His little sister .

When it was her turn to perform the last performance she when on stage and began singing

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

As the end of the song was coming . Suddenly, the memories of them together and memories of him flashed though her head . She suddenly bursted into tears she that she held for the whole performance. She couldn't stop as she lowered her head and went on her knees . And sobbed. All the others idols were watching and also began to tear up but not sob . They knew how much he loved her and how much she loved him ... once the song was done everyone started crying . The members and staff had to bring her backstage to calm her down . All the others idols came in trying to comfort her But nothing helped until the other SHINee members walked in the room seeing her in the corner still sobbing and other idols surrounding her worried and also crying . The members came up to her and all hugged her . Now the five of them were sobbing and crying in each others embrace. After being comforted by the Shinee members she finally calmed down . As everyone was leaving , many idols came said good bye to her and left .

At the end of the day there were many comments and articles about her breakdown on stage .many people were also saddened but some were saying " it's not like she was his girlfriend, mother or sister or something . Many idols are also sad . She's so weak and probably did it for attention "

It hurt her to see and read those comments. She wished she could end it all ....

To be continued....

It's been a year already. He was a angel who is now up in heaven .we will never forget him . We miss you . I miss you . Thank you for everything. Jonghyun thank you ...