A while later I see Em, Charlie, and Luke emerge from wherever they went, probably to get her another shirt. She approaches me and I'm pretty sure the effects of my earlier smoke completely wear off. Em is now in a small white shirt that gives everyone an amazing view of her boobs and a tiny bit of her stomach, the shirt was also extremely tight, showing everyone everything and leaving nothing to the imagination.

Once again I hate all the others staring at her the way that I probably was but once again I do nothing about it. Even Toby and Carter were staring at her in amazement and for reasons unknown to me that really pissed me off.

She attempts to cover her body but in the meantime pushes her boobs up a little bit more, I was glad she had covered her waist and stomach, but again, I hated the fact that her boobs were even more out. Guys eyes followed her every move and I could tell how uncomfortable that made her.

She quickly sits in between Luke and Toby, purposely avoiding me and for some reason I hate it. Usually I didn't give a fuck about how girls acted around me and if they avoided me but for some reason, I hated myself for being an ass to her when she decided to continue avoiding me.

"That was intense," Toby says breathlessly when she sits down.

"What even happened?" Carter asks. Always the nice guy.

"You look even hotter now. I mean the see-through shirt was amazing but this is pretty impressive as well," Blake smirks, I clench my jaw but unclench it as soon as Toby notices and gives me a knowing look.

"I don't know!! She told me to sta-," she begins, and I know where she is going but she stops before she gets there.

"She told you to what?" I ask, trying to make her say it.

"To stall the teacher so she could skip and when I refused she threw the water at me." She throws me another cold glance.

Fuck she's still pissed?!

I don't believe what she's saying at all, but I can tell everyone else does.

I go to tell her I already know but another cold look silences me.

Fuckkkkk.

How the fuck am I supposed to make this right?!

I look at her, trying to figure her out when the bell goes, but not only that, she gets called up to the office. Everyone looks at her in confusion but she ignores us all and rushes to the office.

I was sitting in calculus, throwing scrunched up pieces of paper at some nerd at the front who once challenged me to a math off, nerdy I know. But I ended up winning and the nerd has tried to show me up ever since. I was first in the class and he was second so I had made it my mission to annoy the hell out of him. I think the teacher had even noticed but he didn't care because this kid was someone who even tried to up show him. His name was Arthur or something nerdy like that.

Sir goes to read out the roll and his name actually was Arthur.

Go fucking me.

I know I have better things to do than piss off Arthur but he was my only entertainment in this shit class. Sir was the most boring teacher in the world and I was already an A+ student in calculus.

A nock on the door sounds and sir grumbles before he opens it, if there was one thing this teacher hated as much as his job, it was being interrupted on his job.

I throw a ball of paper at Arthur who ignores it like usual and I chuckle to myself. Man, my aim was good, I mean it used to be pretty shit but as they say, practice makes perfect.

I don't hear the voices but all too soon I see a familiar figure emerge after sir, I smirk at her. She looked around nervously before her eyes landed on me. She looked very confused, probably wondering why I was in AP before she hesitantly made her way over to me and sat on the seat beside me after being told to sit by sir. She was smart to sit here and not next to the chick at the front, she was just as annoying as Arthur. I was also glad she didn't sit next to Harry as well. He was a complete sleazeball and wannabe player, except no girls were stupid enough to sleep with him, not even Tiffany.

She gives me another cold look reminding me she was still pissed at me and I inwardly groan. Can't we just make up?! I know I have to apologize to her but my pride is making that exceptionally difficult.

***

I had planned to take Em to the cliffs later and apologize to her there, girls liked grand gestures right? Something told me Em would be just as happy with a normal apology but I knew most girls liked gestures so that's what I would do.

I think it was a form of procrastination as much as it was trying to make things right with her if I'm being honest, I hated her being pissed at me, and until I figure out why, I would just procrastinate like any other 18 year old.

I was about to leave to go home when I see Em looking extremely uncomfortable with Harry, I was initially going to leave it because I knew she was a feminist and wouldn't want me to save her now, especially when she was so pissed at me, but then I remember I also left it with Tiffany and look how that turned out.

I walk over to them and instantly realize Harry was being an asswipe, I'm automatically thankful that I came over when I did; "get lost," I demand.

"Come on man, look at her, give me a go," Harry continues. The comment bothers me a lot more than it probably should and even though I know Em will have something to say back to him, I can't help when my fist makes contact with his nose. Hard.

I go to punch him again but Em quickly stops me when she yells my name and grabs my elbow. I walk away, hoping she'd follow me, even though she was mad at me and thankfully she does.

"How the fuck is a guy like that in AP calculus?" Em asks, an astounded look on her face. I can't explain how fucking happy I was that she was talking to me again.

"His dad is rich and pays the school to let him on the football team and in all the AP classes," I explain before I smirk at her, "you talking to me again Collins?"

Okay I probably shouldn't have said the last bit, the last thing I want is for her to be mad at me again.

She rolls her eyes, thankfully ignoring my last comment. Fuck I was glad she did. "What even is his name?"

"Harry, he's a complete dick," I reply, my tone a lot angrier than expected.

We stand in a very awkward silence for a while, I know I should apologize but I'm just trying to figure out how to in this environment.

"Okay well, I'm gonna go," she comments awkwardly before she walks away. I guess it's now or never. Man the fuck up you fucking pussy.

"Wait, Collins, I'm sorry about earlier. I was out of line, let me give you a lift home," I call out after her retreating form, hoping that she'll forgive me even minus the big gesture.

"Yeah sure, that would be great," she smiles, but then a curious look passes her face, "Wait you can't drive, you're stoned."

"Not anymore Collins, I didn't have much and it goes away after a couple of hours," I smirk, it was the truth, I wouldn't go home stoned.

I watch her debate her options after a while, but I find myself hoping she agrees. I was so fucking happy we had made up.

"Fine, but don't smoke, it's bad for you," she agrees finally, I smirk.

"Always worried about me aye Collins? Don't worry, I'm used to smoking, it's part of my irresistible bad boy ways. Why do you think everyone is crushing on me?" I wink, although I would never admit it it was nice knowing that she did actually care.

"Where is your car?" she asks curiously.

"At home, "I shrug, I was unsure how she would eventually react when I told her I only had my motorbike.

"What?" she asks, "How do you expect we get home then?"

I just walk in the direction of my bike, knowing she was following me.

"No way," she demands.

"Oh come on Collins, live a little," I smirk, holding out my helmet for her to take. I may be a bad boy but I didn't want her to die, for some reason I cared for her, better me than her.

She glares at me, but a different glare than I had been receiving all day, this one was warmer and more joking and I instantly knew I preferred this one, it wasn't as scary, "Why don't you have your car?"

"I only use my car for racing, preserve it you know, I was just fixing up my motorbike and I finished this weekend." I shrug.

She nods and climbs on the bike behind me. I have to focus on something else to make sure that nothing happened. I had already seen her in that shirt and now I could feel everything pushed against my back. I had to ignore how pleasurable the feeling was.

Grandma bras.

Grandma undies.

Grandma boobs.

Saggy grandma boobs.

"Wait what about your helmet?!" she asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"You're wearing it, I'll be fine. We wouldn't want to damage one perfect hair on your pretty little head would we Collins?" I smirk, trying very hard to ignore her boobs against my back once again.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

She sticks her tongue out at me and I smirk at her.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

"Hold on Collins, and don't let go," I say smirking. I quickly zoom off, not giving her a chance to say anything and needing this to end quickly so nothing happens.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

Man, I need to get laid, but my stupid subconscious won't fucking let me.

She squeals and grabs onto me, it doesn't help.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

I laugh and accelerate, it was obvious she was enjoying it, but probably not as much as I was, and definitely not in the same way.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

She climbs off the bike and I instantly relax, the feeling was still there but not as strong now that she wasn't pushed against me in that little shirt. I see the huge smile on her face and I smirk; "so?" I ask.

"That was incredible!!!" she yells excitedly.

"If you want I can take you to school on it from now on," I offer as she hands me back the helmet.

"Yes, yes, yes!!!" She squeals, jumping on me and wrapping her arms around my neck, I can once again feel every part of her body pushed up against mine.

Ahh fuck. Again?

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

SAGGY FUCKING GRANDMA BOOBS.

Although other parts of me were struggling, I instantly react, supporting all her weight before I slowly put her down. She literally weighed nothing, I was expecting her boobs alone to weigh as much as it felt like she did.

SAGGY GRANDMA BOOBS.

A light blush covers her cheeks and for once I can't seem to read her.

"I'm going to go inside now," she says, another blush covering her cheeks at the awkwardness, I just look at her weirdly.

"Why?" I ask, still unable to read her for the first time. Did I hug her badly? Did my friend show up after all? No, it didn't, I made sure of that. I don't just think about saggy grandma boobs for nothing.

"I promised Dale I'd call him," she replies. Any feeling I had felt that made me think of grandma boobs suddenly disappeared and was replaced by what felt like jealously, but obviously that couldn't be right.

"You okay?" She asks innocently.

"Fine, I'm leaving. Call Dale." I reply coldly, I didn't mean for it to come out that cold but I was annoyed that I thought I was jealous. I couldn't be. I leave the helmet, jump on my bike, and zoom off. I didn't even know where I was heading.

I find myself at the cliffs, park my motorbike and sit down on the log.

It was here where Em told me about her past, and I told her about mine.

I tried to make myself regret telling her but I couldn't find it within me. I was glad I told her and I couldn't deny that. I guess it did feel good to open up to a friend.

I can't believe she had a sister who she was close to and then died. I have to admit it made me have a little more respect for Luke. He had been there for her for years, they had a special bond and for once I found myself fully understanding her words when she explained that she wanted to be with someone who made her feel alive again.

Luke was a constant reminder of everything she went through, and although he was only doing the right thing by her and what anyone should have done, he fucked himself over. She would never be with him now.

I actually found myself feeling bad for Luke, it was a lose-lose situation, if he wasn't there for her then, she mightn't even be alive, but he was and now they would never be anything more than friends.

I can't believe she had a tattoo, I really liked it. It made me have a newfound perspective of her, well the tattoo and her past. She wasn't just the innocent good girl that everyone thought her to be. She was real, flawed but still so pure.

Fuck why can't I get her out of my head, I was going to tell her that she could come to the tracks with me next week on Tuesday but before I got the chance I stormed off like a complete dick. Because I hadn't been a big enough dick already today.

Fuck. Why do I always fuck up the good things in my life, it's like the universe doesn't want me to have anything good in my life.

Well fuck you universe because I was going to make sure I had Em in my life, just as my friend obviously. And you were not going to be the reason I fuck it up again.

I deserve something good in my life, don't I?

Fuck I don't, I lost that chance when I started sleeping around and being the alleged 'bad boy'.

But Em thinks I'm amazing. Coming from someone as pure as her, that has to mean something right?

I don't care if I deserve it or not, for the first time in forever I actually feel valuable, like I'm worth something. I can't lose her or fuck it up, she was an amazing friend and I felt for reasons unknown that I needed her in my life.

She gave me hope.

With a new determination on my face, I strut to my bike and speed to the tattoo parlor.

Thankfully George was in so he didn't ask any questions.

"What will it be today?" George asks.

I think back to her tattoo, and what it meant to her.

"A star, here," I reply, pointing to my pelvis on the left side. I wanted to put it somewhere that no one could see it unless I wanted them to, especially her. You may think it's stupid getting a tattoo because of a friend but I knew that she would always mean something to me. The star not only represented her own meaning of hope, but to me, it also represented her.

The stars were her hope and lately, she had been mine.

The tattoo was nothing special, it was just the plain outline of a star, it was also quite small, but it was special to me and therefore I couldn't find it within me to regret the decision to get it. I know she was just my friend, but she was special to me. Like I said earlier, she gave me hope. And I didn't think I deserved that.

After paying Goerge I ride home, promising myself that this good in my life wouldn't be one I easily fucked up.

Fuck the universe, nothing else has managed to control me yet, so why should the universe.