I walk into my room to see Toby already sprawled on my bed and going through my biology workbook, I wish I could say I was surprised but honestly, it was Toby and this was completely normal for him. I also wish I could say that the biology book didn't bring back memories of a night by the beach with the bad boy standing so close behind me that I could feel his body heat.

"You guys were so mean to Ryan," I sigh, I had to admit that I didn't actually want to kiss him but I actually felt so bad for poor Ryan, no one deserved that awkwardness after such a nice date.

"I did nothing Collins,' Aiden smirks, putting his hands up in surrender; "that was all Toby."

"It's true," Toby grins from my bed.

"You let him!!" I reply back to Aiden.

"What, you think Toby is easy to control?" Aiden replies, smirking at me.

I sigh, he was right, "I just feel bad for Ryan."

"Don't, how did it go anyway?" Toby grins.

"Good, he's really nice," I smile.

"Nice? So you're friend-zoning him?" Aiden smirks from my door where he was leaning against the frame.

I look at Aiden pointedly, I had to admit that he was right but he didn't need to know that.

"It's true though, right Mills?" Toby chimes. I sigh, walking to my bed and lying beside Toby who was on his back, I crawl up beside him and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah," I admit. Toby grins down at me and goes back to reading my notes. Toby and I had an amazing relationship, I adored him and he just made it so easy to be around him, a part of me wished that it could have been him who I fell for but instead I fell for his asshole best friend.

Aiden stays against the door frame, scrolling on his phone while Toby goes through my notes, I lie on Toby's shoulder and for the first time today, I had a chance to think.

🎵🎶🎵

I knew exactly why my date with Ryan went the way it did, and that was because I was hopelessly in love with Aiden. Ryan was such a nice guy but there was nothing there and that was because everything was with Aiden.

I couldn't deny what I felt for him, and I obviously couldn't stop feeling for him so I was in a double bind. I wasn't sure whether I should bring everything up with Aiden for my own sake and so I could finally hear the rejection and get over him, but I knew exactly what he was going to say anyway. He had already fallen back into old habits, sleeping with beautiful blondes that would never be me, there seemed to be no point. But even still, I was in love with him and couldn't get over him, I knew it wasn't worth trying but something inside of me begged me not to give up just yet. He had screwed me over big time with Katherine but maybe there was a reason, or maybe I was just making excuses.

No matter what happened, I was in a lose-lose situation, but my subconscious seemed not to register that and still want him, more than anything or anyone else.

My phone chimes, bringing me out of my thoughts. I pull it from my pocket and look, it was from Charlie on the group chat;

I smile at the message, I was glad that Charlie had a good time.

"What's got you smiling Collins?" Aiden questions from the same place at my doorframe.

"Charlie and Luke went on a date today and it seemed to go really well," I grin back, I couldn't help but be happy for my best friend.

Dale replies instantly;

"So are they official now yet?" Aiden questions, Toby also suddenly seems very interested in the conversation.

"Not yet but I have a feeling it will be very soon," I smile, Aiden just grins at me and goes back to his phone, looking very pleased with himself.

I laugh out loud, getting the attention of Aiden and I'm assuming Toby, I smile innocently as Aiden decides to move from the door frame and come sit with us on the bed.

"Em, you should come to the tracks with us tonight!!" Toby enthuses.

As soon as the words leave Toby's mouth Aiden's face snaps to Toby's.

Toby sighs; "come on Aiden, she'll be fine. She can stay with us when you're racing."

Aiden looks like he's considering his options, he looks at me; "Collins, do you even want to come to the tracks again after last time?"

I don't answer him for a moment, did I want to go to the tracks again after what happened last time with Bates? I was desperate to see Amy but was that enough to actually go back to the place I was almost raped?

I think it was.

"Yeah, I want to see Amy and the other guys," I admit.

Aiden stares at me for a minute too long; "fine. Stay with the boys the entire time, even if you need to go to the bathroom then one of the guys will go with you and wait out the front."

I cheer excitedly with Toby and don't think about my actions when I find myself leaping excitedly to Aiden and latching on to him, unsurprisingly he responds instantly and my heart warms so much that I have to remind myself about him sleeping with Lindsay today.

I let go of him instantly at the thought and he looks at me weirdly as I quickly move away from him so fast that I was practically on top of Toby who was still on the other side of the bed.

"Get ready and I'll come to get you at around 7:30?" Aiden offers.

I nod awkwardly at him, "Tobes, are you coming with us?"

Toby shakes his head; "Carter always takes me and Blake in his truck a little later, they always have to check Aiden's car for anything faulty and it always takes like half an hour."

I nod at Toby in understanding, I'm about to ask him if Carter can take me as well but it almost seems that Aiden anticipates this because he says goodbye quickly and all but drags Toby away.

I check the time on my phone, it was 7:07 which meant I had just over 20 minutes to get ready so I choose to stop overthinking and begin to get ready.

I was definitely excited she was coming, it would be so good to have that hour in the car with her on the way to the tracks but I also hated the idea of someone as pure as her coming back to somewhere as dark as the tracks where she hadn't had the best track record.

Toby and I say goodbye to her family and almost as soon as we leave the house Toby looks at me excitedly.

"What?" I question him, it wasn't even me that suggested she come.

"Guess what!!!" Toby enthuses like my sisters would.

"What?" I reply boredly.

"No man, you have no idea how amazing what I'm about to tell you is!!" Toby continues to enthuse, Toby was an excitable person but even Toby didn't get THIS excited over just anything, I had to admit I was getting curious.

"Fuck bro, just tell me," I reply.

"So when we were in Mills room she was lying on me right?" Toby begins.

"Yeah?" I question in confusion, was the point of this to make me jealous because it was definitely working.

"Well I had a clear view of her phone right," Toby grins.

"And?" I continue, where the fuck was this idiot that I called I called my best friend going with this. I open the front door, Toby follows as I walk up to my room, mom had taken the girls to her parents again for dinner and as much as I loved my family, they saw my grandmother like 4 times a week and I was happy to see her once a week.

"Well, Dale's gay," Toby all but shouts in excitement.

I freeze. What?

What the fuck was Toby talking about?!

"What?" I question.

"Well technically he likes dicks and thinks tits are gross but you get the drift," Toby smirks.

"Are you fucking with me?" I question, there was no way!!

"I swear bro!!" Toby grins.

I think back to every time I had spoken about Dale with Emily and all of a sudden everything makes sense, Em always laughed it off when I spoke about her and Dale and now I understood why, they seemed way too close to not be dating and now it all made sense. My heart pounds in my stomach and a huge grin covers my face, Dale was gay which meant that he wasn't trying to steal my girl, she never had feelings for him.

"Fuck bro you're amazing!!" I grin to Toby who looks extremely proud.

Toby grins back, "I know, thought you'd be interested to know that the guy you've been jealous of for so long was never interested in the girl you're in love with, you were just being dramatic."

"Fuck off man," I laugh, the smile still on my face, "I wonder why he's not out yet."

Toby shrugs his shoulders; "maybe his family are assholes who don't approve or something."

I instantly feel sorry for the guy, Toby was probably right, that or society doesn't approve. I don't understand why people give a fuck about what junk other people prefer. If it's not you then fuck off, you don't get a right to have an opinion on someone else's life SOLEY based on whether they like tits or dicks.

"That fucking sucks bro," I reply shaking my head.

"Fucking oath, if my kid turns out to be gay then I'll love it as much as I love my other 30 kids," Toby replies seriously. I laugh at him, I actually wouldn't be surprised, anything is possible when Toby is involved.

"Alright mam, I'll see you at the tracks, thanks for letting me know about Dale," I grin.

"Anytime," Toby grins proudly before saluting me and walking downstairs to drive to Carter's.

I check the time and see it's already 7:24, I had spoken to Toby for nearly 20 minutes. I grab my jacket and keys and walk to the garage after locking up the house from the inside. By the time I'm waiting outside Em's its 7:29. she must hear my car because she walks out of the house almost as soon as I pull up. She looks as beautiful as always and I know she's the most beautiful girl I had ever seen even though I was very aware that what she was wearing was a fucking sack compared to most of the girls at the tracks. She wore black jeans with rips in the knees, they weren't skinny but they definitely highlighted her legs and I'm sure they also portrayed her ass just as well. She wore a loose white shirt and was putting on a large grey jumper as she approached the car. What she was wearing was extremely modest but she would stand out at the tracks just like she did everywhere else she went and the thought made me annoyed.

I loved the way that she wore clothes on purpose that didn't show her skin, she was taking precautions and was unlike any girl I had ever seen, let alone been in love with. Knowing that she hid her amazing body underneath the oversized did things to me that I'd rather not admit.

"Hey," she smiles as she climbs in the passenger seat, her voice is as soft and as angelic as usual.

We fall into a comfortable conversation just like we used to before everything happened between us and whilst I wished she was my girlfriend, I was honestly just happy she wasn't still ignoring me or hating me like she was a few days ago.

I had fallen for her so hard and honestly, it was only a matter of time before I hit the ground and broke into pieces.