"You mean to tell me that he slept with the telescope?" Milk threatens to come out my nose while I choke out the sentence. Nate's face is beet red as his family and I laugh at his dispense.

"For over a month!" Lucy giggles, looking fondly at her son. She reaches over and squeezes his forearm. He doesn't jump out of his skin when she touches him. Why only me? "Nathaniel was so happy when Tim and I surprised him on his birthday with it. You would have thought we bought the kid a space shuttle."

"Which he pouted about for another month because we said no to the space shuttle," Tim, Nate's father, butts in with a mouth full of his wife's meatloaf.

"Can we please move on to a topic that doesn't involve embarrassing me?" Nate pushes his green beans around on his plate, refusing to lift his head.

"Yes, sweetheart," Lucy hiccups from trying to silence her laughter, "of course. We're sorry."

"I'm not," I tease and look over at my anxious bio partner. I'm pleasantly surprised when Nate rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out at me. I can't help but throw my napkin at his face which, of course, hits him with no block. His hand searches for it in front of him where it has landed close to his plate and he tosses it back at me. With decent aim, it hits me right in the center of the chest.

Nate's family quiets and I don't miss how they are studying us. It's my turn to be slightly embarrassed now. I seem to forget how to function when Nate is around. I clear my throat as quietly as I can to not give off my now nervous exterior and Nate shifts uncomfortably in his parents' heavy mahogany dining chair.

"So are you two dating?" Charlotte, Nate's little sister, grins from her chair. She is the complete opposite to Nate. While Nate is quiet and reserved, Charlotte is bubbly and talkative. I quite like her. "My friend Missy says she is now dating this boy Ben from Ms. Dorran's class. It all seems very sophisticated if you ask me."

"No one asked you, Charlie," Nate grumbles.

I peek under my lashes at Nate whose face managed to turn reder. I want to reach over and lace my fingers with his but I don't know how he would react to that. I also want to check his pulse to make sure he is still breathing but instead I look away towards the little girl sitting across from me. "No, Nate isn't that sophisticated."

"Nate?" Tim nods before looking back down at the fine china setting in front of us. Something tells me they are caught off guard by my nickname for their son. It's my turn to blush.

"I think it's lovely Nathaniel has made friends with such a nice girl," his mother coos, her hands placed under her chin while she grins widely.

"Mom," Nate whines again.

"Sorry," she retorts, once again picking up her fork and cutting off a chunk of meatloaf. "It's just nice. It's been such a long time since you've brought friends around. Feels like old times..."

The room grows silent. The hairs on my arms stand erect and suddenly the meatloaf no longer taste good. Guilt weighs on my stomach hot and heavy and I have to excuse myself to the bathroom. To his parents dismay, they aren't aware that I have been inside their home before so I don't interrupt them when they tell me that the bathroom is up the stairs and to the left.

I shut the door behind me and instantly crouch down to the toilet to empty my stomach. Only bile comes up but that doesn't stop the forceful tears from running down my face and smudging my makeup. Ugh, I hate throwing up.

I stand up and look at myself in the large mirror hanging over the his and hers sinks after flushing the toilet and washing my hands. My eyes look too big for my face and my skin looks pale and blotchy. I swipe my fingers under my eyes to rid the black mascara that had run from my tears.

I look scary. Not in the I-am-Kelly-freaking-Henderson-hear-me-roar scary, but the scary in the sense that I look completely lost and distraught. Before I have much time to think about this there's a knock on the door.

"Just a second," I call, my voice sounding strained and raw thanks to the bile still stinging the back of my throat. I quickly cup my hand under the running faucet and wash out my mouth.

"Kelly, are you okay?" It's Nate on the other side of the door. That makes me panic more.

"Yes," I croak and shut off the water. I turn the knob to the door and open it to see an apprehensive Nate standing against the frame. His glasses have dimmed under the intense bathroom lighting.

"What's up?" The forced causuality of my voice makes me roll my eyes.

Nate shifts his weight to the other foot and his face turns towards the floor. "You seem upset."

"I'm not," I lie. I make sure to make my voice sound more upbeat than normal.

"If you were upset about something, you would tell me, right?" I can imagine him insinuating the kiss out front of his house and I want to sooth his constant worry so I lean up and kiss him on the cheek softly, my lips brushing against his smooth skin.

Nate doesn't say anything but he doesn't push the topic or my affection. "I'm really sorry about my family. They sort of don't have a filter."

I relax. "I like them."

Nate makes a face. "Why? They're embarrassing."

"That's why I like them." I shove his shoulder light enough that he barely moves. His arms stay crossed across his chest in a very boyish manner. "I like that you all sit down at the table and eat dinner together and I like that they innocently pick on you and laugh. It's very American-dream." I laugh to myself and look down at my feet too. I don't know why but I feel shy now.

"Your family doesn't do that?" Nate steps aside, probably assuming I wanted to move away from the situation and he is right. That's what I like about Nate, he was good with intuition.

We start walking down the hall, me guiding him by his elbow to his room and away from the staircase where I can hear his parents and sister laughing about something at the table. I wonder what they think about their son coming upstairs with his friend that happens to be a girl.

"Not really," I admit. "But I've never really minded." Until now, I want to add but don't. I guess I never really knew what I was missing until tonight with the Haynes. "My parents are very busy people."

"I'm sure my parents would fill in with the embarrassing and laughing at you part. They're very good at it." His voice is so carefree now as if being with just me sans his family has calmed his nerves. It is a nice thought.

I lead him to his bed and lightly push him down so that he is seated. I sit next to him, bringing my legs up underneath me, my knee slightly touching his. He says nothing and I don't either. I just stare at him, noticing the way his head is angled towards our touching limbs and the way that his teeth were dragging at his bottom lip.

I've noted that he does this when he is thinking. His brows also scrunch low as if he is thinking really hard. He probably is. He's very smart.

And I am very dumb. What am I thinking about being here with this boy? With his family? I am a bad person who is practically lying to him. This is lying, right? Even though the topic hasn't really came up, I am lying to him. Right? Even if it isn't intentional, I am a big phony!

"Nate, I really like you," I blurt out. Where it came from, I don't know. But this wasn't a lie.

"W-What?"

This boy was going to make me spell it out for him. But suddenly, all of my gusto is drained. Just like that. I shouldn't be here.

"Nothing." I move my knee and stand up. "I should get going."

"Um... okay." He goes to stand up but I'm out the door before I can see him do so.

What am I thinking? I am with Danny. I at least need to end things officially with him--my boyfriend--before I even think about confessing my feelings to another, very confusing, very timid, boy. I may be a liar but I am not a cheater. At least I don't want to be. It's hard to feel like a cheater when there is no longer any connections between Danny and I.

I am almost to the door when I remember my manners. I walk back into the dining room and smile at Lucy and Tim. "Thank you so much for dinner tonight. It was wonderful."

"Oh sweetie, you have to leave so soon? I made pie." Lucy's smile beams from the table. Oh, pie. I like pie. No, no, I have to leave. Not only have I overstayed my welcome in Nate's life but I just dug my own grave upstairs.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Haynes, but my mother is waiting at home and she needs me," I lie. I can hear Nate making his way down the stairs and my flight or fight is on high alert screaming Abort! Abort!

Nate's mother pushes back her chair. "Let me send two pieces of cherry pie home with you since you can't stay. One for you and one for your mama."

I can't say no because the gesture is so sweet. I smile, though it falters when I feel Nate standing behind me.

"Can we talk?" He whispers too close to my ear. I don't think he meant to be as close as he was but his breath against the shell of my ear makes me shiver. My chest is heaving with despair and lust. What a combo.

"Here you go, Kelly," Mrs. Haynes says looking between her son and me. She doesn't give much away except for the hesitation on Nate before turning back towards the table to her family as they continue to eat.

I thank them all again and move past Nate whose reflexes are par and grabs my elbow before I can get out of their foyer. "Kelly..."

I take one more look at his family as they sit oblivious to us in the other room and grab Nate's hand and pull him out the door. Something tells me this is going to be the make it or break it moment between him and me. And we haven't even started our bio project yet.

"I like you," I repeat once the door is shut and we are bathing in the light of the moon. His face is shadowed by the giant oak tree in his front yard and it makes him look more mysterious, more closed off. It is eery and my heart is pounding profoundly in my chest. All I want to do is kiss him, make him crack under the timid exterior, and most importantly, I want him to want me back.

"I like you too," he nonchalantly admits. But I know that he isn't getting it.

"No, Nate." I close my eyes and take a rash breath before my heart escapes into the bushes. "I really like you. As in I'm pretty sure my heart can't beat any faster than it does when I'm around you. And I just want to know if maybe you feel the same way."

Nate stands unmoving in front of me, eyes hidden behind the lenses of his glasses. I look though, I look really hard at trying to see something behind those eyes. Anything to give away that this isn't in my head and that he feels the zap between us when our hands randomly touch or when we kiss.

Say something! I want to scream at him. I know he is shy and I know he thinks he isn't good enough for me but it's the other way around. I like him and I wish with all my heart that he likes me too.

"Please, say something," I whisper instead of screaming because of the knot in my throat.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know what you're thinking!" I cross my arms over my chest and hold back stomping my foot like a child.

"No, Kelly, why the hell would you like me like that?" His words claw at my jugular, his voice raw and wounded.

"Because," I throw my hands up in the air and move closer to him, "You're sweet and smart and funny. You make me feel different. You make me want to be better. I've never felt this way about anyone before..."

Nate's breathing is harsh, his chest heaving up and down. His nostril flare as his eyes widen before they arrow at the ground.

"So you're saying you didn't feel anything when we kissed?" I abruptly ask. When he remains mum, I throw my hands in the air again. "I'm dying over her, Nathaniel. Speak!"

The comedy doesn't surpass me when Hannah barks behind the closed door. We both jump at the sharp bark.

He looks off to the right. The wind has picked up from the changing of the seasons and the breeze ruffles the hair on his forehead. "I just don't get it."

"You are something else, you know that?" I can't reign in the sarcasm.

"I can never tell if this is a prank or if this is real," Nate admits aloud. I'm not sure if he means to say this out loud but he did and my heart drops into my stomach.

"You think that low of me?" I feel like I'm a broken record and no one is ever going to take the stylus off.

"No." Nates steps forward and accidentally steps on me foot. He shuffles away with an apology but I stop him by moving after him. I steady him by gripping his forearms so he doesn't fall onto the front lawn.

"Then what is it? You can't tell me you don't feel it too." I was being ballsy. More ballsy than I have ever needed to be in my life. I just want to understand this boy's mind and how it works. I am putting it all on the table because I don't think I can stand another day by being around Nate without touching him intentionally and knowing that those feelings are reciprocated.

"You never paid attention to me before a month ago. I'm pretty sure you didn't even know my name." There is an edge in his voice and it cuts me like glass. Sweet, quiet, Nate is slowly slipping away from me in front of my eyes. The moon is creating a hue on the horror in this situation.

"Why now?" He pleads, his brows lowering and two little lines appeared between them which I yearned to lean forward and kiss.

My heart is in my throat and it's choking me. Tears spring to my eyes clouding my view and my judgment. It's my turn to turn silent. I should tell him right now. My confession is climbing up my throat and gripping onto my tongue for dear life to not let it out.

My mouth wobbles open, bobbing at the hinges. But I snap it shut and sniffle.

"I'm done trying to prove myself to you," I say, all emotion void from my voice. "Good night, Nathaniel."

Nate keeps moving closer to his front door and further away from me. He's trying to escape. He's fidgeting and the awful ticking makes me step away. It's like he can breathe now that I am no longer touching him and it just shows that he isn't as comfortable around me as I am around him. And the epiphany knocks some sense into me.

Nate twists the door handle but stops before heading inside. The light from the foyer cascades over his dark features but still I see nothing. And that breaks my heart more.

I thought I knew the real Nathaniel Haynes. I thought I had broken through the rock hard barriers that he had built around himself to keep people at bay.

Nate appears to be looking at me for a second longer before he turns back to his house. Hannah greets him at the door, tail wagging and tongue licking his hand.

As I walk down the sidewalk to my house, I swear I feel eyes watching me. The hopeful part of me wishes for those eyes to be Nate's. But we all know that is scientifically impossible. The hairs on the back of my neck raise and I look over my shoulder to see nothing but darkness and a parked pickup just down the block.

I wrap my arms around myself as I jog up my driveway and rush into my house wanting to forget the past twelve hours happened but mostly I want to forget the ery feeling that now settled into my bones.

If I would have look outside my bedroom window now, I would see the parked truck's lights turn on. It moves until it is right in front of my house only pausing briefly before driving away.