LUCY

Tonight is going to be the first night I spend here at Elias' house, and as excited as I am to sleep in that room, I am not looking forward to us talking with each other, spending time with each other, as if we are roommates or something.

After lunch this afternoon, Elias dropped me off here, and I spent the whole rest of the day waiting for him to come, keeping myself busy with coming up with a game plan concerning dad, as well as how to go over it with mom, because in order to get him back in jail, mom would have to appear in court, and there may not be a way that will be possible.

She'd definitely regret the whole idea.

For once in her life, my Mom is being selfish. No other time in her life had I ever seen her be so selfish except now. I only wish it was about something else, not my childhood trauma.

Maybe Elias could talk to her, convince her. She likes him and he might be a welcomed third party.

I'll have to talk to him about that when he comes home.

Ew, just thinking about that made me... happy?

No, not happy. This is his home, not mine, even if it is mine for a short period of time.

The front door opens, and I jerk my head toward the sound.

I rest my feet on the stool I sat upon and wait silently until he walks into the kitchen. He flips on the light and walks in.

"Oh, hey," he greets, setting his heavy lunch bag on the counter.

I smile. "Hi. You stayed late."

He shrugs. "I guess. Elaine stayed later to take care of phones, and that produced me talking more on the phone, but I got a lot of work done, so that's good." He rattles off the words as if they were practiced.

I narrow my eyes. "Cool."

Elias takes me in, letting out a sigh. That must not have been the response he imagined.

I smile.

"What have you done on your day off?" He asks without missing a beat.

I lean forward. "Nothing. Well, not nothing, but I grabbed the notebook you were using to build the case against my Dad, and I started writing down memories and stuff about him, and I tried to come up with a good argument to give to my Mom about getting her on my side."

He frowns. "What?"

I swallow. "Oh, I guess I didn't tell you. She's all for my Dad right now. She wants us to get back together as a family and I when I talked to her about it this morning she got really defensive and I probably won't go over to her house for breakfast tomorrow."

He shakes his head. "That's hard to believe."

I give him a frown.

"I-I mean, about your Mom not taking your side."

I swallow. "She doesn't believe in sides. I guess she never did, probably as my Dad was trying to break into my room when I was a kid and my Mom had her arms wrapped around me. She probably didn't have a side then either, although to make me feel better she would have said she was all for me. It's kind of hard to think of all those times since they all feel like a lie." I pick at a really long nail as I speak, not wanting to meet Elias' eyes.

He grabs my hand. "She really loves him," he states.

I nod. "Yeah, she does. Unfortunately."

He lets go of my hand.

As stupid as it sounds, I want him to keep holding onto me.

I meet Elias' eyes. "Read what I wrote and tell me what you think."

He takes the notebook and reads the front page. I had written a whole page full of an explanation to my Mom and about my argument.

The notebook is set down and I look up.

Elias nods. "That's really well written." He glances at me.

I smile. "I was a good student. I knew how to make arguments."

He smiles back.

"Do you think it will convince her?"

He shrugs. "I don't know, Lu. I really don't know. I know what it's like to want to do anyone you can for someone you love, and if I could even do anything for Rich, I would."

I grab the notebook and close it, his words not comforting me like I thought they would, "Well, your brother isn't a psycho like my dad. He didn't abuse you."

Elias nods. "True. But she still loves him. A lot."

I meet his eyes, and I try to read the message hidden in his eyes, but I can't. Or I won't because I don't want to know what he is trying to say.

Remaining ignorant is a blessing.

"Would you talk to her?" I ask suddenly.

His eyes widen. "I don't think that's a good idea." He backs away from the counter, and places his lunch box into the fridge. He walks over to the sink and pours himself a glass of water and downs it in the next second. He must be trying really hard to not have to answer my question.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to get involved."

I shake my head. "You got involved when you told me you would help. You got involved when you asked me to move in with you..." I trail off, realizing what I just said. I try to back track, my face on fire. "I mean, when you invited me to stay in one of your guest bedrooms until my Dad goes back to jail."

Elias hides his smile almost too well.

I clear my throat. "Anyway, you are involved."

"I didn't mean this way."

I let out an exasperated breath. "Well, if I can't get my mom on my side, then we're history, because she will fight with all her breath to keep him out of jail. And we'll lose."

Elias sits next to me. "Who did your dad hurt more, you or your mom?"

I frown, confused at the purpose of the question. I have to think about my answer.

"Me, most of the time. Don't get me wrong, Mom got hurt too, but it was mostly me. She wasn't home a lot of the time he hurt me." I rub my arms, feeling a sudden chill as I realize I have goosebumps all down my arms.

I grind my teeth.

Elias places his hand on my arm and I look at him.

"Well, if he hurt you more, then you have more incentive to put him back where he belongs. Which means you will have more stories, more occasions when he tried to hurt or did hurt you."

"He never tried. He always succeeded." My voice is flat.

How numbing those words sounded to my own ears.

Elias' grip on my arm tightens.

"I'll talk to your mom," he states.

I turn to face him. "Really?"

He nods.

I throw my arms around his neck, holding him tightly. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. I let myself feel okay in his arms as I try not to think of how good this feels, how right this feels.

No, it is better to ignore those.

I pull away, not letting myself rest my hands on his chest. Last time that happened...

...Heaven appeared in this very room.

I chuckle to myself, "Thank you."

He nods. "You're welcome, Lu."

I smile. He calls me Lu. My dad calls me Lu. I remember cringing when he called me that name and all I wanted to do was block it from my memory.

But the more he calls me by that name, my memory of my father using it on me, calling me it, taunting me with it, slowly fades into just Elias.

And only him.

I meet his eyes. "Did you know my Dad calls me Lu?"

Elias nods. "Yeah... I found out when you went to the hospital, but I didn't even think about what that name could mean to you. I can stop calling you that name, if you want... Lucy."

I shake my head. "I used to hate it, especially when my Dad calls me it. I remember when I finally realized I hated it. It was when I was late for school, and I got slapped for my punishment, and he said it in the nastiest way. I wanted to tear that name to pieces and let it blow away with the wind."

Elias closes his eyes.

I wonder if my stories of woe really hurt him like they hurt me.

"And then you started to call me that. I wanted to tear it up, let it escape your memory, so you wouldn't just be a picture of my dad every time I saw you."

"I'm sorry." His voice is raspy.

I smile. "It's okay. I like it now. It's like... you've redeemed it. I don't see his face now when you call me Lu."

My eyes meet his.

"I see you."

Elias takes my face in his hands and brings his lips down on mine.

I let myself be kissed. Maybe this is his way to say thank you, or express how he feels about what I said, so I'm not going to stop him.

Besides, maybe I don't mind the kiss terribly.

He breaks off the kiss for a second before kissing me again and that's when I feel lost.

When he finally let's go of me, breaking the kiss, he leans against my forehead with his, breathing hard. I just smile, letting him hold me.

"Lu, I'm in love with you."

I have a sudden urge to not let him touch me anymore.

So I pull myself away from him, scooting my stool away from his at least a foot as I try to climb through the forest of those six little words he just bombed me with.

I don't meet his eyes, but I know he is watching me, staring at me, begging me to look at him and maybe confess my love for him too.

No, no, this is all wrong. Even though I know this would never be Travis saying these words to me, I didn't think Elias would. He should know better than to say that to me. Doesn't he know this is cause for me to leave? To quit my job working with him? To never see him again?

As stupid as his love is for me, I feel an ache in my heart when I think of not seeing him, not working with him, not staying here with him.

"Lu, look at me." His voice is heavy with emotion that I can't say no.

I look into his eyes, seeing the weight on his shoulders.

"Elias, I-"

He cuts me off. "No, Lu... I, I do. You may think I'm crazy, stupid, or completely bizarre, but I don't care! I love you, and I'm not going to pretend any longer. It's why I want you here, and why I can't bear the thought of you being hurt. It's why seeing you is the best part of my day, even if it's just to bring me my coffee. Even if it's just your voice coming through my intercom saying there's a call for me." He laughs a little. "And I can't stand you loving someone else." His voice breaks a little when he says his last sentence.

I feel my fingers shake.

"What do you want me to say?" I whisper, clutching my hands together, feeling as if this whole kitchen is crowding me. "I can't say those words back, and you know that. So why did you tell me this?" I ask, feeling my voice crack as I hold back tears.

Here is a man, sitting right in front of me, heart in his hands, offering me the world, his world, and his heart and all I'm telling him is no.

If this is a different time, maybe a few years after Travis, I might say yes.

But my heart keeps saying no.

"I don't want you to say anything," he finally replies. "I just needed you to know."

I frown. "For what purpose? All this does is hurt you."

He smiles. "I know what your mom feels like, with this whole situation with your dad." Of course he brings up my dad. "But I wasn't originally talking about Rich. I was talking about you. I know what hurt feels like, but this isn't it."

I let out a dry laugh. "How does this not hurt you? I'm literally staying at your house, going to work with you almost everyday and will be talking to you about the whole thing with my dad."

His smile seems to grow. "It's worth it, seeing you, talking with you."

How much pain is he willing to go through for me?

He gathers my hands in his and he kisses both of my palms. "Lu, I'd wait for you. I will wait for you. Until this whole Travis thing is over, and you get your heart back, I'll wait. I promise you that. And then when you decide if you don't want me back, then I'll leave. I'll back off. I'll know then it's not because of Travis, but because of me."

I swallow, not believing the words he is telling me.

"What if it takes a long time?" Is all I can ask.

He shrugs. "So what." Is his answer.

I feel a tear fall down my face.

He's willing to wait... for me. He may be waiting for a very long time without receiving any hope in return, but he's doing it. Or he's saying he will.

Promises don't mean that much to me anymore.

Even if this whole thing with Travis ends, and I find that I love Elias, he won't love me after.

After I have to tell him about Travis, and why he broke it off with me.

My Mom doesn't even know.

Oh, there's a lot she has to know, I just won't talk about it.

"Is there any possible way to not make this anymore awkward?" I ask, biting my lip.

If he keeps talking about how much he loves me, or about how much he's willing to wait for me, I think I might lose it. He has to act completely normal, even though I'll already know.

But it will make it easier. With hurting him.

"I won't say I love you anymore," he states, holding my gaze. "I promise. I won't kiss you anymore, even though you already asked me not to do that." He chuckles. "Whoops."

I let myself smile.

"I'll act as if we're at work together, just all the time. How's that?"

I frown, "You kissed me in your office," I raise my brows.

He nods, "True. How about when I first met you?"

I remember him being super flirty, and very moody.

"I can handle that."

He smiles, "Deal?"

I roll my eyes, holding out my hand to his, shaking it. "Deal."

ELIAS

With the whole night in front of me, I have to figure out another way to leave Lu alone so that I could concentrate on my promise.

I hadn't meant to tell her, but it just came out and then it all stumbled in front of me, and there was no backtracking. Even if she never did fall for me, I had to tell her how I feel.

I realize that this is not like any of the other girls I've liked or dated. We never lasted, and then I got to see what was underneath all the prettiness, and what I always saw was ugly. I'm not the smartest guy in the room, but I do hold some kind of standard. I was raised right.

My dad never wanted me to settle for an okay girl. He wanted something better for me, someone great, someone who understands and someone whose beauty lies within.

I find that in Lu. I think he'd be proud of me.

Lu has already left the kitchen, and solved my dilemma for me. She said she was going to turn in, and as soon as I heard her door close, I practically jumped for joy.

She didn't say no.

Well, she might as well have, saying she didn't know what to say and practically that she is still in love with Travis.

But she has to realize sooner or later that he doesn't have a claim on her heart. Even though he got her first, she's mine. Even if she denies any feelings she has for me, she's mine. Nothing can change that.

She'll find that I am much more competitive than the way I play basketball.

I claim what's mine.

And Lu, I want her heart. She already has mine.

I lean onto the counter, staring out the window. I can't really pretend that this journey won't hurt, but I believe she won't hurt me.

She can't. I've already experienced so much pain in my life, how can I call this hurt? I'm in love with a girl who doesn't realize she is over another man.

I get to see her everyday, speak with her everyday, and work with her almost everyday.

If this is as close as I get to being with Lu, I'll take it.

At least for the time being.

I hear Lu in her room as she turns on the ceiling fan. She's probably heading to bed.

I swallow, realizing I should probably do the same.

Big day tomorrow.

I have to somehow speak to Lu at work without wanting to show her that I love her, like I promised her. This will be the hardest one yet.

But Lu is worth it.

And if keeping this promise somehow gets her to stay in my life...

I'll take it.