I debated giving Parker her jacket early. Not with the note or anything declaring my feelings for her, but just the jacket might be enough to lift Parker from her doom and gloom. It might have the power to part the rain clouds and bring back a small sliver of sunshine. No way did I think it was enough to fix all her problems, but it might sit like a nice band-aid over at least one of the wounds.

My stomach wouldn't stop aching as I drove to her workplace. I knew it wasn't my responsibility to fix all of Parker's grocery list of problems, but that didn't mean I never wanted to help. It didn't mean I never wanted to be the person that saved her, like the gallant knight that slays the dragon to get the girl.

By the end of this, I wanted to get the girl.

Even if I wasn't the one who could help her. Ian was wrong at the auditorium. It wasn't about fixing each other. We were supposed to help each other and make each other's lives better. Whatever it took...

Sighing, I pulled into the Frugal Finds grocery store parking lot, feeling like a total cheeseball and if Parker could hear my thoughts, she'd probably hurl me into the next dimension from laughing so hard. If Camille's eye roll didn't kill me first.

Camille had been texting me nonstop, asking how Parker was doing.

I told her to just ask Parker herself.

That earned me a keyboard smash of letters and a link to the Glee cover of You Can't Always Get What You Want, so I sent her a link to Forget You.

I drove up the hill to find a parking spot, when my eyes pinned on Parker sitting on top of one of the park benches outside the store. All alone. The space inside the car suddenly shrunk and my space to move and breathe lessened. An overwhelming sense of dread barreled into my stomach like one swift kick.

I let out a shaky breath and grabbed the paper bag holding Parker's jacket. "Let's do this."

#

Ever since yesterday, I haven't been able to get comfortable. Like there wasn't quite an easy sitting position. Even my clothes hug my body awkwardly, like my sleeves were too tight and my socks kept slipping down my heels and burrowing inside my shoe. I've been out of breath. With the same headache from yesterday.

I couldn't remember what feeling normal was like and I wondered if I would ever stop feeling like this.

Debbie noticed something about my mood, but I just shrugged it off and lied about it being period cramps. She made me some hot chocolate and left me alone. That made me cry like a big baby for at least twenty minutes. God dammit. Lizzie's crying thing was infectious. Now that I started crying, I didn't think I was ever going to stop.

So lame.

I sat outside during my break at work, freezing my fingers and toes off. Nobody cool was working today and the only other person in the breakroom was a lady named Theresa who ate chips with her mouth open and I didn't feel like getting a misdemeanor for punching an old lady out, so I sequestered myself outside to die of hypothermia.

Everything changed.

I wished there was a way I could find something more permanent. Something that wouldn't change no matter what. Sounded like I needed a pet rock.

My phone vibrated to a text from Emily:

My brain jumped off the diving board and belly flopped into an ice-cold pool of "what the fuck?" Quickly, I skimmed the text over and over again. Was this really from Emily? Did she mean that? Does she really still like me?

But she ended our relationship for good. This didn't make sense.

Did somehow avoiding me make her like me again?

"Weird..." I muttered.

The end of the text was what really threw me for a loop. It was as if someone turned off Earth's gravity and I didn't know which way was up or down anymore.

"Hey, Parker."

My head snapped up to find Lizzie. She smiled with a little shrug, holding a long black paper bag in her hand. "I thought I'd drop by."

I couldn't help but just blurt the question, "How come Emily knows we're fake dating?"

Lizzie straightened. She seemed taken aback and for a second, I thought she didn't have a hand in it at all. That maybe Norah let it slip or something, but Lizzie said, "I can't believe she told you and this fast. Wow. I'm like pissed, but also impressed. Emily is scary."

"So... you told her?" I could feel myself getting worked up. My heart gained a little bit of speed. "Why? I thought we were taking this seriously."

"I was-"

"You were? Like in past tense?"

"Hold on, hold on. No, I told everyone—"

"Everyone?" A horrified laugh flew out of my mouth fast enough to probably break glass. Thinking about it and the more I thought about it made my face burn to a crisp. Just another reason I looked stupid in front of everyone.

"Listen," Lizzie insisted, obviously getting frustrated too, "I told everyone because I was making a point. It really made sense at the time. If you showed up to practice, maybe it'd make more sense."

"No, it makes sense. I wouldn't want to admit I was actually dating me either."

Her face darkened as she pressed her shoes into the ground. "I'll have you know, I told them that I think you're great. That you should come back to the play because we need you, but you shouldn't come back if they don't appreciate your work."

"Well," I shrugged and tried to hurry through that little encouragement so I wouldn't have to think about how pitiful it must've been for Lizzie to tell people about her charity case fake girlfriend, "we're not really dating so you don't have to pressure me into going back to the play." I threw my hands up in a wide flourish. "I free you."

"You think that's pressuring you?" She guffawed and took a step forward. "That's not pressuring you. God! Right now, I really do miss the way we used to be because no, I don't miss the hating you, but I miss the way I could tell you to your face when you're being a jerk because I knew I was right—no, because I know that I'm right."

"I'm already stressed out enough as it is, Lizzie. Have I really not had enough? Did you think, hey? Everyone's been giving Parker total hell, but not me. I feel left out."

"No, obviously!" Lizzie hissed and crossed her arms.

I grabbed at my hair, thinking I could really pull chunks of red hair right out of my head. "I have to deal with everything, including you whining about the stuff that doesn't even matter anymore! Who gives a shit about the play?"

#

My hands dropped and I moved the bag behind me.

Whining.

Wow. That hit really deep.

That one little word had the power of a nuclear bomb, dropping into me and causing nothing but destruction and havoc. A pile of wreckage was left where my heart once stood. It hurt so much. Wow. It's never hurt this much before.

Tears trickled out of the corner of my eyes and I couldn't keep my face from flushing. I said, despite my shaky breath, "Here I thought that this trial was doing us some good, but I guess you haven't changed at all, have you, Parker?"

#

"Oh, whatever!" I rolled my eyes. "You think you're all that different? Because you're not. You're still the same Lizzie chasing after Camille. You act like you only have Camille and me around, but you love it, so you can cling to Camille and let her tell you what to do or you can just follow me around and copy me because you don't even know how to be yourself."

"You're wrong. That's not my problem. My problem is that I'm not being very honest. I'm not telling you what I really think. You need to text Camille back. You need to talk to Mrs. Donnelly, so you can explain yourself and come back to the play."

"Uh, did you miss the part where I'm banned? Or do I have to remind you?"

"You yelled at a teacher, Parker. What did you expect? If you just apologized and explained what was going on, then maybe-"

"She's not going to change her mind. I already fucked it up too much, just like I did with Camille."

"So, you're just going to give up? You're not even going to try?"

"They've already made their decision. People don't change their minds."

"We're not talking about them anymore..." Lizzie's nose flared. Her nose always flared first before she started to cry and my ribs splintered apart as my heart tried to bust through and soothe her emotions. "I'm not sure what this trial is giving you any more. You don't need a girlfriend right now, Parker. You need everything else."

My stomach plummeted to my toes.

She closed her eyes. "I have to start being honest."

"What are you trying to say, Lizzie?" I asked, venom on my tongue. It tasted like copper and bad decisions, but my head was running too hot and like most forest fires, the destruction couldn't be contained without a few casualties. "Is this it? You really couldn't stand being around me even ten more days? I'm so awful, you're really willing to lose the bet? God! Has everything been fake?"

And with that, some things couldn't be unsaid.

I'd rather Norah Brady punch me in the face.

I'd rather take a pair of scissors to my favorite jeans.

I'd rather my mother abandon me all over again.

Lizzie's face hardened. She clenched her fists at her side as she forced the words out. "Thank you, Parker, for giving me one last lesson during this trial. Thanks for teaching me how to break up with someone. I'm breaking up with you and..."

Her voice caught like a sweater on a rusty nail. Hot tears rimmed her eyes, making them glistening and pink. "It's not because I don't like you because I like you a lot." The tears began to fall, one after another, dribbling down her round cheeks and meeting at her chin. "I like you more than anyone. Ever. Sometimes I like you more than my own family! I like you like you're the other half of me!"

Lizzie's eyes looked at me like a spotlight and the expectation burned my eyes.

"But..." She took a step back. "I don't like what you're doing, and I don't like what you've become. I can't watch it anymore. The trial's over."

Why did everybody want to change me? Why did everybody want me to be so different? Why couldn't I just be me? Like the people I like and cut out all the people that don't like me. Everyone needed to just leave me alone and let me do whatever I wanted to do. I could make new friends. I did that all the time. I could get another girlfriend. Emily wasn't asking me to change. She was the only one who didn't expect anything from me.

"Well," I scowled at Lizzie, crossing my arms so tight, I cut off the circulation, "let me give you another tip. The next time you break up with someone, try not to break up with them while they're on break at work and now I have to go back and try not to bawl my eyes out. Well done."

"Whatever." Lizzie shook her head. She whipped around, stomping her foot against the cold pavement. She muttered, "Asshole."

"Dick!" I called back after her.

She flipped me the middle finger as she stormed towards her van. I threw one up back even as she started her car and sped away. She rolled the window down to shoot me the bird right back. The second she was out of sight, I roared and used all my strength and aggression to kick the nearest trashcan. It jumped only a foot and I unleashed a roaring curse as my poor foot ached.

The last month gave me everything I ever wanted and in one breath, it became my worst nightmare. I hated love. How it could just be taken away as soon as it was given. I should've held on tighter. I should've held on until my fingers bled.

I had assumed I did a really good job protecting myself with the thickest wall I could build... but somehow, one person snuck in and like any other thief, she took my precious heart and fled.

We interrupt this romantic comedy with a break-up! November has been a KILLER. This chapter was a killer. I've probably rewrote this specific day 5? 6? times. It's definitely the most I've ever rewritten a scene. It's a huge reason why I didn't update last week.

I'm almost afraid to ask (haha), but let me know what you think about the chapter! Parker didn't get her jacket, do you think Lizzie is still going to give it to her? Are you surprised by the break-up? Do you understand where Lizzie is coming from? What is Parker going to do?!