I know this is for people who have been bullied...but I thought I could write something about me when I used to bully my best friends.

It was around Christmas when I started bullying. Back then I didn't know why I was bullying because I hadn't realized I was bullying, but now I know. I did because it made me feel good about myself, I did it because I was jealous of my friends, I did it to boost my self-esteem. I was 12 then and I did through email. I was a cyber-bully. One of the worst bullies there is.

I called my best friends ugly, b*tches, f*cking losers, weirdos, dumb, whatever mean comment you could think, of I said. I enjoyed doing it and everyday I would wake hoping they would be on email.

The worst part is...one of them almost killed herself. Thankfully, she didn't but if she would have...I don't think I would ever forgive myself. At first I thought she was joking about the whole 'killing herself thing' then I saw little scars on her wrist the next day at school. But when I saw them...I smiled. I felt so proud of myself.

Two months later my friends invited me over to there house, for a surprise birthday party. It was after the fighting started dying down and guess what they gave me...a turtle. I had never had a pet before and I always wanted one. To think that my friends would give me something that special and would plan a party for me after all I had done to them. We all forgave each other that night and it seemed like nothing had happened in the first place.

But I will never firget what happened, neither will my friends. Since it happened every insult my friends make about me, even if, it's a joke, it hurt really bad. So bad that I have been cutting since then. And i have been hidding EVERYTHING from my friends, and usually I tell them EVERYTHING! I'm afraid and terrified. But everyday my self-esteem gets a little higher.

I hope that you guys got something out of this. And I know your life will get better.