Honestly I could try and blame my problem wit th "bullying" on someone else but in all realit it is my fault, many people say this & it is not true but in this case it is. I started drinking when I was 15 because of recent bullying events, it became more and more of an issue. I hardly recognized myself sober. After I came down I'd feel sad so I'd drink more.

I went to school drunk most days. One day I was invited to a big party and I ended up going. I had a few friends with me. It took a lot to get me drunk, but I succeeded I was drunk as fuck. We ended up smoking so I became cross faded.

I made a complete fool of my self it didn't matter that I was drunk or high. I got naked in front of a large group of people, I was changing infront of people. I kissed someone I have no interest in.

I woke up the next morning realized I crashed in the hosts bed. I felt disgusting. Everyone looked at me as if I was a slut, at that point, I was.

Numerous people laughed at me and told me how crazy and slutty I was. Some people offed them selves from me and I 100 percent agree with their decision.

Thats when I decided to cut down on drinking, I was mainly smoking. I went to school high a few times, after awhile it didn't seem to help much. I never smoked or drank to be cool, in fact hardly anyone knew I smoked, the people from the party knew I drank but that was about it.

I made problems for my self worse, I began to take pills. Someone saw it and told people. They called me a junkie. And I was.

Later on they stopped seemed to forget, but I didn't. The pills stopped (thank god). I hated who I had become. I was a freak.

It was no longer others bullying me, more myself. Nothing is worse then guit, I will never forget what I did. I abandoned people, I was selfish.

The only thing I can do is try and forget and make up for what I did. I am now more at peace then I have ever been, I do not need alcohol or drugs for peace. I am learning more and more every day, and being sober feels great. I am moving into 12th grade.

Things may be rough sometimes but things get better.