*Teasing. (Because i am what they called "healthy")

*7years old.

*Classmates. Neighbor.

* I feel weak. Unappreciated, Stupid, Imperfect and Worst i feel as if breathing or anything, everything about me is a mistake. My existence. A MISTAKE.

* My sister but she refuse to believe because i am bigger than those who is bullying me , She thought i can fight. Well, how i wish i was brave like her.

* I thought she can protect me if i tell her but it end up i would need to stand by myself.

* until now. But it's more complicated this time. It's much worse and getting worse each day of my existence.

* Yes. I am still being bullied by reality, by the future and by myself. My own demons.

**

By reality: Nothing lasts forever and the only permanent thing in this world is CHANGE. Which saddens me. As if in a glimpse everything you thought was real is bound to change.

By future: What if's. I am afraid to look forward thingking that i will be hurt and be left alone again. I am afraid to end up the same as my family. Broken.

By Myself: I am being bullied by myself. My demons. They're eating me alive. (If i am really living) I hurt myself (Physically) because i feel i wasn't good enough , As if everything i do or i will do will cause disappointment towards those person i love and i punish myself for that. I'm such a burden and i can't understand why i still have to SURVIVE. I tried to punish myself in more ways than one thinking that maybe.. Just maybe.. If i stop breathing everyone will be fine. Everyone will be at ease. I am bullying myself & i can't stop doing it. 😔