I used to be a really happy person, I still try. Of course you know that can be hard realizing everything you believed in was wrong.

When I was four my parents divorced, at first I didn't understand why mom and dad argued so much. Then I found out they didn't love each other. That broke my heart because I wanted them to stay nearby forever. So I prayed (I believed in God at the time) they would still be friends. Or at least be by my side forever.

That's when my father took me away with no contact with my mother. It took two years. I had lost my faith and felt gross. Then my father got remarried and I met a woman who I thought of as a mother figure. She loved me with all her heart and soul. Of course this love came with lies. I began to believe my mother had left me because of money, her new son who's father should be in jail because he sexually harassed me, her new son was a sense of income from his rich grandmother.

I hated my mother

I cursed her existence

I never wanted to see her

But something in me told me I would be fine seeing my mother.

So I followed that something and stayed silent

I was silent until I found out I would move in with my mother. My step mother had a child, my half sister had just learned how to walk on her pudgy legs and it was the cutest thing in the world. I was sad for a while. I would have to move in with my mother who I was brainwashed into believing was a worthless excuse for a mother.

Until I found out how great she is. She loved me. She would have never left me. That's when I realized how deep my father's foolish hatred for her was. I started acting like my mother because she was a role model to follow. I was so happy.

And after a year my step mom had another child.

It took me a few a few years to realize how far my father grew away.

I had no idea until he said I was full of crap.

Not when he grounded me on my birthday because I had a panic attack and couldn't eat at the café.

Not after all those things he called me

Not after he allowed his children to leave a bruise on my back

After I found that out I made some new discoveries.

My little brother, the one my step mother gave birth to, was my replacement.

My parents on that side love My half sister and Half brother more than me.

I wish I had confronted my dad earlier on this.

Now it's too late

I'm afraid to tell him

"I hate you."

I still love him for who he was.

Was.

I regret holding onto the past

Please don't make the same mistake as me

It leaves you feeling piontless

Please take my advice

Make your opinion clear