When I was 6, the bullying had started. I was just a cute, cheerful grade one girl. I was adored by my friends and family. Until HE came. (I'm going to refer to him as Bully1)

I tried to be polite and make friends with him, but he glared at me and said: your ugly, I don't want ugly friends. I felt completely heartbroken. I frowned at him and walked off, and then he started laughing and said, " you're an ugly baby! Going to cry to your friends now, are we?" I complained to my friends that I needed space from him. But they never believed me when I said he called me ugly.

As I grew up, I was still bullied. Although many of you think that being called names isn't so bad, I was pushed constantly in grade 4 and was called things behind my back by bullies, and my own friends. My friends spread rumours about me, and told people my deepest secrets.

When I moved schools for grade 5, boys stared at me each day, but without realising they called me fugly behind my back, fish face, f*cking stupid and many things containing the word f*ck.

One day I had enough. I wanted to commit suicide. I chose a knife and slowly, ever so slowly, began cutting. Until I received a text from my best friend, (Bestie1) to not do it.

She told me I have a lot to live for in life, and that if I die, she dies. Bestie2 said this too.

I instantly stopped cutting and trusted them. I took their advice. Besides, I didn't want them to die with me.

To this day, I still feel like suiciding. I'm still called names behind my back. But I know that one day I won't be able to take it in anymore and just cut.

Sorry for the long description. I just need help. :/

how can I stop myself from cutting? What can help me block out the insults?