When I was 12 I was avoided like I was a disease. I had a few friends but only one close one friend1. friend1s dad had passed away when she was 6. This was so hard for her that all she would do was smile to forget it. This made her a target nobody would play with her. Until I started to stand up for her. They bullies ignored me I was surprised at first, there was this one boy bully 1 he hated friend1 so much he would call her names laugh at her. girl1 and i were really close always talking about random things and would just talk everywhere. Then when I was 13 we separated into different schools I was then left with a few friends. I tried to be good friends with them until I was air and they ignored me. I eventually fell into depression and went almost insane. I forgot about them and made some new friends friend 2 and friend 3 they were nice to me and included me in their convocations but i still felt left out. Then girl 1 and girl2 joined our group friend 2 and 3 liked them so I gave them a chance. Girl 1 would scream at me and blame everything she did wrong on me. I started falling into deeper depression when i finally decided i've had enough. I found the key for my case unlocked it and took out my 2 pocket knives. I opened the blades on both and decided which was the biggest. I then held it and watched it for hours until i put it down and started crying. I then told friend 1, 2 and 3 friend 1 was confused because my hands were shaking when i was messaging her and it barely made sense. Friend 2 and 3 were just surprised then friend2 said 'I'll kill you before you can even kill yourself' and she started shoving me round. I did karate and got out of her grip and punched her slightly cause i didn't want to hurt her. Friend 3 just watched and when friend2 left she said 'If you kill yourself then I'll kill myself'. I knew she wouldn't and just mumbled 'you wouldn't'. I then went home got out the blade and cut my finger then i got pins and dug it into my arm into straight lines they didn't bleed much but i had done about 25 cuts so my arm was in slight pain. Then I got caught and my mum wasn't happy about it she yelled at me saying i was paranoid and stuff. I cut more then I found out about a girl in my class girl3 cut i tried to help her. But I couldn't even help myself. Then I found out that another girl in my class girl 4 cut and burned. I tried to help them both and they then started dumping their problems on me. I have scars that remind me everyday about this. I'm now have insomnia and don't sleep much. I'm trying to save myself and two other people and I'm falling even deeper depression and suicide and death is the only thing that I think about. I'm sure I'm insane sometimes I start bashing random objects and draw disturbing images. This is only a small part of my story it's so much longer. I'm sorry this is so long and stupid. But if your being bullied please stand up for yourself and tell somebody. And if you are they bully say sorry and stop bullying you can be the cause for somebody's end and you could cause them issues that they'll have forever. And if you know somebody who's being bullied stand up for them and help them you could save their life and others.

My username is @Goth_Dragon and if you need help just message me.