My story starts in the first year of primary (elementary) school. I was 4 years old and an older boy always punched me during lunch which resulted in me getting a nosebleed. Other classmates would tell me to open my mouth and close my eyes, and when I did they put sand in them! (we had a sandbox in the schoolyard)

From the ages 5 - 7 everything was fine. I had a couple friends in school and the bullying had stopped. But then two of my friends started bullying me. Friend1 was the leader. She made me run laps around the schoolyard and climb high walls because she knew those things made me tired and scared me. Then Friend2 joined in because she was afraid that Friend1 would bully her as well.

After my 8th birthday my parents bought a new house in a new district.

So I decided to transfer to a different school. I met a few new friends and for awhile things were going great. But when I was 11 the principal of our school said that it had too few students and was being closed. So I had two options:

1) Stay in the same building but there would be a new school moving in

2) Transfer back to my old school

That was the time I made the WORST decision of my life. Most of my classmates transferred to my old school and because I was afraid of meeting new people and being in new situations, I did too.

From day one, Teacher hated my guts. Because I was bullied before, I was now an extremely shy person. I never looked anyone in the eyes. I always looked down. I was afraid of being embarassed in front of my peers. Afraid of being bullied again, I guess.

And somehow she knew.

She made sure the entire class counted me out in everything they did. She told me I was dumb when I didn't understand something.

She forced me to do things I was EXTREMELY frightened of.

My classmates called me ''bitch''. Classmate 1 asked if I knew what a ''wet dream'' was. When I said ''no'' the entire class laughed. Classmate1 then called me (very randomly) ''Vagina''.

Every afternoon when I went home for lunch (that's allowed where I live), I would sit in front of my mom CRYING MY EYES OUT.

After being bullied for a couple months Mom took me with her on a Parent Teacher Conference and Teacher DENIED everything I told Mom she said/did to me. Mom was angry with her because she lied but Teacher kept denying everything.

After we went home Dad got so angry with Teacher that he wanted to press charges against her but Mom talked him out of it.

She was afraid we would lose the case.

In the end, I think we SHOULD have sued her!

When I had to take my tests to see which kind of secondary school I could go to, I screwed up! I couldn't concentrate because I was traumatized by what Teacher and Classmates said/did to me.

Every day felt like a year. My life felt like a living hell. Everyday I would cry in my room and feel sad. Sometimes I would wonder what it would be like if I gave up and killed myself. At that time, I WAS ONLY TWELVE YEARS OLD.

That summer things only got worse. Mom used to help me comb my hair and dry my hair after showers, because it used to be really long and thick. I couldn't reach everything myself.

When she started drying them with the hairdryer, I started feeling unwell. My eyes got blurry, I felt like I was going to faint and needed to sit down. Mom thought I was overexaggerating and being crazy.

I thought I was going crazy as well. This never happened to me before.

For the next ten minutes I sat on my bed with a glass of water and my favourite stuffed animal. Because I still sleep with a stuffed animal. (even now, and I'm 17) Not ashamed of that fact, at all.

After years of going to different therapists and doing several types of therapy (that never worked), at the age of 14, I finally learned what I was experiencing.

For two entire years I couldn't put my finger on it. But it was because of a video that a YouTuber uploaded, when I realised. She has multiple videos of that topic but it's the one from 2012.

I realised that I experienced several same symptoms as she did. The way she described it, was EXACTLY how I felt. From that moment on I knew I wasn't the only one and could finally say I am not crazy.

In secondary school I was also bullied but not as severly as in 6th Grade/Year 6. I ditched a few times because of it, though.

I want to share this story because I want bullies to know what the consequences of their actions can be.

These are a couple of things I deal with NOW because I was bullied THEN:

-Anxiety & Panic attacks

-Hyperventilation

-Trust issues

-Feeling unsafe

-Not being confident

-Social Anxiety

-Overthinking

-Overexaggerating

-Jumping to Conclusions

-Not handle criticism well

I hope this helps people see that it is NOT okay to bully.

To my fellow victims, I've read a few of the stories in BULLIED already and they make me so sad and angry. Bullying should be taboo! It should be a law that bullying is FORBIDDEN.

I just want people to know that suicide is not the answer and that you are strong for fighting back. (figuratively, not literally)

Please tell someone about your struggle, I'm sure they want to help you. This could be a parent, guardian, teacher, friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, co-worker etc.

You can't carry the weight of the world on your own. Sometimes you need a little help from someone who appreciates (/loves) you.

Lots of love & Take Care,

Shannon

A : I experienced all of the above and being counted out, being bullied by my teacher & being embarassed by my classmates & teacher

A : I was 4 years old

A: Several classmates, kids from the years above me & in the end, even my teacher

A: Anxious, scared, alone, lonely, confused as though why people were bullying me

A: Extremely anxious, secluded, lonely, depressed & suicidal

A: Yes

A: When I was 12 I FINALLY told my parents & grandparents

A: Because I thought maybe they could help me

A: 12 years

A: No

Q: Was there anything that distracted you from the bullying/the pain/the sadness you felt inside?

A: Music, Poems & Books.

Q: What's something that you learned from your bullying experience?

A: That suicide is never the answer. That I am a strong person for not giving up on myself and making it through. That if you change negative thoughts into positive thoughs, things will be okay.