People don't realise that their words hurt.

I have been cyber bullied multiple times. I have been called slut, whore, fat, ugly, bitch and the list goes on and on. I never understood why people called me these names online, when I haven't even had my first kiss yet.

I always blamed myself for the things people did. Regularly I said to myself that I am worthless and no one would care if I was to slip away. I often get random messages saying I'm ugly and fat, and the worst thing about it, is that the messages are coming from guys.

The other day I got a message from one of my very close guy friends saying to f**k off, and that I'm an ugly dumb slut and that I was apparently using him. He had told me that we were just friends, but he was sending me mixed signals. It hurts that one of my best friends said this to me. He knows that I am self conscious and I am severely depressed, so this is where I stopped and thought that maybe he was right.

Before all the cyber bullying, I was (and still am) severely depressed. I have cut myself multiple times, cried myself to sleep and had many suicide thoughts. I have tried suicide, but ending up failing or crying in the end.

My father did help me a lot, telling me that he wasn't worth it. My mother also told me that he shouldn't treat girls like that, and now my family think completely different from him. Although, my mother thinks I did something to spite him, but I didn't.

To this day I am still depressed and no one knows.

I don't trust anyone, especially guys.

And I have simply given up on trying.