When I was 10 my first experience with bullying started. The things they said went very bad, but because of my anxiety, I really took in the things they would say and I wouldn't let those words escape my head.

The bullying carried on through middle school. It was mostly verbal bullying but in a few cases it turned into a physical type of bullying, in which I ended up in hospital.

Every night I would cry myself to sleep. The bullying got so bad I decided that I should try end the pain and take a blade to my wrist, my first suicide attempt.

Obviously I failed my suicide attempt and that made everything worse. I couldnt even bring myself to do something that I wanted so much, which was to end it all.

School got worse and worse. I failed all of my classes because the only thing that stayed in my brain was the words that people would day to me. My parents didn't understand when I told them I was getting bullied. They told me I needed to toughen up and get a life.

Over the past few months I had barely eaten anything at all. I was awfully skinny and at a very unhealthy weight where it was very hard for me to walk up just a few stairs. I hadn't grown in height at all either so I was only about 5'2.

Later on through the year My parents started to understand that the bullying was becoming to much for me to deal with and decided that I should move school.

A few months later and it was my first day at school. I remember stumbling through the gates as I was too weak to even carry my own body weight. The kids laughed at me. That was when I realised I was going to be very easy to pick on. The new kids are usually the bullies main target, but because I was small and skinny I would be an even easier target for them.

Later through the year I had been experiencing more bullying then I ever had before. I didn't let my parents find out this time because I didn't want to have to move again, so I started skipping school. I pretended to walk to school but would just go for a walk through the forest for the day. Later my parents found out because they saw my attendance record. I got sent back to school and my mom dropped me off at the gates everyday to make sure I was actually going to school.

On my first day back from skipping school, half the teachers had forgotten my name because I was gone for such a long period of time. I yet again became the bullies main target.

One day I remember sitting with one of my friends. We were chatting about random things but we weren't very close because I don't really thinker she liked me. One of my bullies came over and threatened to stab me with a knife. I tried to run away but I was too weak and I fell to the ground. He jumped on top of me and punched me untill I lay there by myself, unconscious, for the rest of the day.

I walked home that day and went starught to my room to find my blades. i grabbed them out and didn't even think before slicing it across my wrist. The pain felt so good and before I knew it I had passed out from the amount of blood I had lost. I was rushed to hospital and put on a lot of drugs to keep me alive.

The next few days I stayed at a special hospital because I wasn't capable of being on my own. Every single dangerous item got taken away from me. I had to ask for permission to use the bathroom and a person had to watch me use the bathroom to make sure I wasn't doing anything bad. Sometimes people would even watch me sleep because they knew I would find a way to something dangerous and hurt myself.

I got out of that hospital about 3 months ago and it was literally the most horrible thing ever. My parents now understand how bad my bullying experience was, so now I am doing online schooling.

Thank you for reading my story! I'm sorry if it was triggering or anything but I just wanted to share my while experience with you

ADVICE: Just remember there are very helpful people out there that can help you with any problems. Don't EVER think of hurting yourself or others because it was the worst decision of my life and I'm now left with ugly scars, but I've learnt to put up with my scars and now I call them my battle scars. If you ever need help about anything you can message me on wattpad and I may be able to help. Ily guys stay strong beautiful your going to be ok xxxx