People don't hate me as much as they used to. I have a small group of friends now. People started hating me in fifth grade. That's when I started school. That's when everything was gendered, bathrooms, the order we got things in, who cleaned up what, etc. I knew I was a boy. They thought I was a girl. It hurt me a lot and I started wearing makeup, heavy eyeliner, black lipstick. I started dying my hair too. They didn't like how I looked so they made fun of me. I had one friend and because she was my friend people made fun of her. People said we were lesbian. That hurt, but only because boys can't be lesbian. I told them I was gay, which I am, just not in the way they think. That made it worse.

In sixth grade I made friends with the most hated person in the school. People at my school are unfortunately racist. My friend was Asian and he liked wearing girl's clothes. That year the bullies went to the principles office. They wrote apology letters. I forgave them. They didn't mean it, most of them at least.Some of them just started avoiding me, the rest just acted like the apology letters never happened. I have anxiety, selective mutism, and depression. The bullies kept getting in trouble and still didn't stop. Once one "accidentally" bumped into me, but she was small so I pushed her back. Then she tried to be my friend.

In seventh grade I got a new friend. He started dating the first friend. We got a table at lunch. We formed a group together. I was happier. My new friend was depressed too. I think he was adopted. He had anger issues too. He went to guidance a lot. He punched people and yelled at people. But I didn't mind, I understood. He got punched at school and his lip bruised. Me and my friend made him tell and teacher, he didn't want to. He yelled at a girl in sixth grade, told her no one liked her, that she didn't have any friends. I felt bad for her, though she had already insulted one of my friends. I realized I had a bad group of friends. I didn't care. I didn't care that they would do drugs and have sex once they were in highschool. I liked my friends.

I still get bullied. My friends do to. We're still that messed up emo group to everyone else. We're still outcasts. I mostly am the one who protects my friends, the one who hits the bullies with various things or yells at them. I only do it if they do first. But they think I'm a freak because of it. And if I tell them I'm a boy they'll only think I'm more of a freak.

ADVICE: Don't be afraid of bullies. They're all cowards who can't argue.