I don't really know where to start but here goes nothing.

It all didn't really start until this summer. My mom recently got remarried and the guy lived in a different state. So, we moved to him. So, I was new. It was mid August by the the time we arrived. So, there are a lot of kids in my neighborhood. I befriended this one boy. He seemed cool, at the time.

So, this boy. He was a soccer player. He invited me to go with him and some other boys to the park. On the way, we had a conversation, at the time it was just him and I, and I guess it accidentally slipped out and I told him I was gay.

I had no prior intention on telling him at that moment. But again, it slipped out. He didn't say or do anything but shrug it off. I figured we moved past it. I was wrong.

We got there and I saw this boy. I still have a crush on him. I watched them play soccer, as I'm not good at any sports. They told me I should get in the game and I kindly declined But then, that boy that my secret slipped out to, shouted the words that would screw me over: "You guys, he can't play sports. He's gay!"

This one boy, bully 1, the main guy who harasses me to this day, got close to me. "Is it true?" I didn't say anything but that guy said, "of course. He told me himself." Nevertheless, they beat me up.

That was basically how it all started. They still bully me. They still punch me, kick me. Relentlessly abuse me with their words. I guess it's my fault for not watching what I was saying. I haven't made another friend because that guy didn't talk to me after that.

Since then, I started burning myself with lighters as I've never had the guts to cut. I could quite definitely say I'm depressed and I feel lonely every second of everyday. I also feel stupid as I don't have the guts to tell anybody what's happening. My family wouldn't care as they are all caught up in my step brother's football carrier because god knows he is a high school football star. Me, just remaining in the shadows, which I guess I prefer.

Ever since the bullying started, I've had major anxiety. I stay up late wondering about what they'll do next. I fear school as it's a battleground. Ever since then, they've just found more things to bully me about. Whether it's the type of music I listen to, or the fact that I'm no sports player like my step brother. I wish I was just invisible to them.