→ We'll always protect you

→ I only reward my trust to specific people

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chime echoes across the house, bouncing off the walls. Mason groans- over dramatically, in my opinion- before pushing himself off the floor. Caden beats him to the door so he stops a few steps away from the doorway. The door opens all the way, revealing a clear view of the men on the other side. Two large men wearing blue police uniforms stand besides each other, stiff in posture and expressionless.

"Police. We are performing an investigation, sir. Is this the residence of Jessica Jane Willens?" The first man holds up a card at shoulder level. Identification proof. I immediately stiffen when I hear my full name. What could I have done wrong? Aiden's arm tightens around me protectively.

"Yes, officer." Caden stands taller but I notice the slight tremor in his left hand. He's scared too.

I recall my mother's voice from that one time when we heard sirens near our house. 'Never trust the police officers.' It was one of the only pieces of advice she ever gave me. Somewhere, deep inside, I knew I still craved my mother's affection and advice. Like any daughter, I wanted someone to guide me, give me hugs, and tell me that I was loved. But I knew I would never get that. I realize that now, though my fear of police officers never extinguished.

"We would like to ask a few questions regarding the case of her mother. Illegal substances were found scattered across the house and light switches broken. The house didn't seem fit for two residents. An investigation for a case of child neglect and abuse has been started up." My breathing picked up in panic. Abuse? Neglect? The police officer's words echo in my ear. I place my hands over my ear, holding on tight. I try to block the sounds of the police officers, hoping that if I can't hear them, they would go away. I bury my head into Aiden's shirt and he places both arms around me, his chin resting on the top of my head.

The goal doesn't work though. I hear the officer's voice closer than ever. "Jess?" A voice calls softly. I identify it as Eli's as he rubs circles on my back. "They just want to ask some questions, okay? You can stop whenever you want."

I peek slightly to see the officers watching me intently from the other side of the room. It brought back too many memories. Too many encounters with officers. Mason and Caden, who were both following behind the officers, perch on the gray cloth couch besides them. The officer finally acknowledges me directly.

The first officer was close to balding besides for the few stray hairs on his head, though he seemed young. His aura wasn't intimidating and his voice was gentle when he spoke. Complete opposite from when he first talked to Caden. "Hun, I know this might be hard but I just want you to nod or shake your head, okay?"

I nod, not seeing much of an alternative. The officer gives me a warm smile, his eyelids wrinkling. Eli steps up and gently shoves me onto the couch. I obey and Eli takes a seat right besides me. Aiden never leaves either and that's when I notice his hand, still holding onto mine. He had never let go.

The second officer picks out a notepad from his belt pocket. It was near the leather pouch, with presumably the taser inside. He started his questioning, unaware of the millions of voices in my head. "Did your mother ever hurt you?" Shake.

"Did your mother pay the bills?" Shake.

"Did you eat at least three meals a day?" Shake. I sneak a look at the boys. They were all watching. Caden's forehead tightens at this answer and I see Aiden clench his fist. Was it my fault?

"Have you witnessed your mother drink?" Nod. The officer scribbles something down on the notepad using a clickable pen. I finger dad's necklace, tracing the pendant. Eli gently lifts my fingers off it. I hadn't noticed how tightly I'd been gripping onto it.

"Have you witnessed your mother get high?" Nod.

"How often... Did your mother use drugs more than two days in a week?" Nod. "Four?" Nod. "Six?" Nod. "Seven days?" Nod.

I could practically see the gears turning in the officer's head as he put two and two together. I looked at the ground, as if the carpet was the most interesting thing I had ever seen. Eli gently took my chin in between his fingers and pushed by head upwards. 'Say Son', he mouthed. Or was that, 'stay strong'? The pain was clear in his now glassy eyes. "Did you take care of your mother?" Nod.

"Did you pay the bills and complete house chores and go to school?" Nod.

"Did your mother ever invite people over?" I hesitate.

"She brought people over in the night. Normally, they just got high or smoked together. Sometimes- sometimes some men came to my room when I was asleep but I locked the door. They've only touched me a few times. They were usually too high to notice. I just cleaned up after them. Will I get arrested for knowing there were drugs in the house?" It was Aiden's turn to take my hand in his. He squeezes reassuringly and my confidence rises slightly. I see Eli freeze.

"No, hun. One more question, do you believe you were a victim of child neglect?" I nod without hesitation. The officers stand up from the couch, tucking a notepad into their back pocket. "Thank you. We'll be in touch." They let themselves out. Caden seemed hypnotized, perched up on the arm of the couch. His eyes were closed as if he was praying and his fingers in fists. Mason looked distraught. His general cheerful expression was wiped out completely, replaced with plain sadness in his eyes.

A brand new thought appears in my head. Will they send me to an orphanage? Will they leave? Why would they want to stay with such a fragile, broken girl? And how will they react when they learn that I killed my dad?

"Jess... did- did you always live like this?" Eli crushed me into a hug.

"No." They all visibly exhaled and Caden opened his eyes. They were glassy as well and one fast tear escaped. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso. He rubbed my back, holding me tight against him. "My dad was an awesome person. He was my life," I say when we finally pull apart. Everyone's attention stays on me.

"I never knew mom at that point. My dad and I were really close and he- he was just everything I needed. He would always play with me and never leave me alone. He used to call me his 'bumblebee', 'angel', and 'princess.' Not once did I ever miss mom since my dad always gave me everything I needed. I was his life and vice versa. He gave me this necklace and told me that no matter where he was, he would love me and be with me.

"When I was five, my dad surprised me with a trip to disneyland. I was mad because of something he said. It was stupid, really. But he hated it when I was mad at him so he bought tickets, even when we were short on finances. He used to say that he would give everything for me."

I sat in the corner, tapping my arms against the chair and bored out of my mind. 'Time Outs aren't meant to be fun,' daddy had answered when I asked him what I could do. I had refused to turn off the television when daddy asked- which was why I was stuck here staring at a wall for the next ten minutes. It was simply unfair. I fidget more and more- sitting still being an unknown word to me.

"Jess, sit still."

"But daddy..." I whined. "Can I do something?"

Daddy took a peek at his watch. It was tax filing time and even at five-years-old, I knew that was the time he would be the most stressed. "It's been... 2 minutes since you last asked, angel."

Going back to the paper in front of him, he scribbled a few numbers with the blue pen. "But daddy, I-"

"Jess! I'm tired and you need to understand that you made a mistake. If you had turned off the T.V. when I asked, you wouldn't be here. Fine, you don't want to be here? Go. Just go do whatever you want. Just stop." Daddy yelled, throwing his hands up into the air. He sat back down on the dining room chair with his head in his hands. I ran out of the room.

Daddy very rarely screams at me. When he does, he always apologizes right away but today, he doesn't. I sit in my room, inside my tiny pink tent, with my head buried into my arms. Sniffling, I pull my tiny teddy bear closer to me and cup the necklace in my palm. I sit there for what feels like an hour, sobbing. Does daddy not want me? Am I a bad girl?

"He came into the tent I was hiding out in and told me that he was sorry. The only thing I asked is whether he loved me and I remember he- he took my hands and told me that he would always love me. That was all I needed to forgive him but- but he also told me we could go see MickeyMouse at DisneyLand. I remember I was excited for days.

And then- then when we were driving there- a drunk driver hit our car. He died on the spot. I was distracting him. If I hadn't been- been dist- distracting him- h- he w- would s-still be h-here. I killed my dad." I sob, my voice breaking. Tears run down my cheeks. The boys, my brothers, all step forward but I put a hand out. If they came, I could never finish the story and I just wanted to let it out. "They found my mother and I was put into her care. She didn't care about me at all. I did everything myself. And then when she died too..." I trail off, crying too hard. Tears swim down my cheeks and I hiccup.

My brothers run over to me and take me into their embrace. All their cheeks were wet as well. They were crying because of me. They were crying for me. I remember the first time we were in a group hug, over a month ago. I was skeptical then, but now I was sure. My dad let me meet these boys, they were heaven-sent. And I loved all of them. I loved them just as much as I loved my dad. "It wasn't your fault. It was never your fault- none of it was. I love you, Jess. We love you. We'll never let anything happen to you again."

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p.s.: the end is very near which is both exciting and sad at the same time. two more chapters left and I hope the next one will be done around this time next week. two weeks, two chapters. keep up the countdown. AND I've started a new story called All The Colors (as I've mentioned before) and the first chapter is going to be published in less than a week! I'm really excited for it so I hope you decide to check it out!