"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other" - Audrey Hepburn

((brace yourself, issa long chapter))

"So you're telling us you've seen this exact same pin on one of the customers?"

"Yes, Josh! In fact, he came right before you found me."

Tyler and Josh shared a look with each other.

After our meeting at the West Pack, Josh being the gentleman that he was, decided to chaperone me back to my pack. Upon reaching the pack borders, we found an impatient Tyler pacing back and forth. The chief guard of my pack’s border control, Andrew, stood next to him with five other guards. Anyone could gather the frustration from their facial expressions and gestures.

Ever since the attack, each pack unanimously decided to double their security. No one, not even an Alpha, was allowed to cross another pack’s border without the permission of their Alpha. Thinking to myself, I realized that Andrew was unable to mind link me for permission because I had blocked contact with everyone when I was with Ethan.

Once I settled the situation between them, the three of us headed towards my office, where Jonathan, who I had already mind linked, awaited us.

"But what was he doing in human territory... It doesn't make sense?" Tyler huffed.

I shrugged back in response. My eyes travelled to the other side of room where Jonathan was leaning against my Dad’s bookshelf, silently observing the golden pin in his hand. He hadn't spoken a word since I showed him the pin. He supported an inscrutable expression on his face as he continued to stare at it, not offering his two cents during any part of our conversation.

Then all of sudden, as if he got electrocuted, Jonathan began to ransack Dad's collection of books which lined the shelf. His moves were sudden, abrupt and haphazard.

"Beta Jonnie, you good?" Josh questioned, raising an alarming eyebrow my way.

"It has to be here....has to be.... where did you put it Alejandro.... where? Yes! I found it."

Dust went everywhere and swirled in the dry air when Jonathan dropped a huge book called "The Imperial Protectors" on the desk. The dust particles reflected the sun’s rays which peeked in from the window behind me; taking theappearance of sparkly glitter.

“Vivian, are you short on cleaners or what? Should I send some from my pack?” Josh coughed, “This vortex of dust is harming my poor, young lungs.”

Before I could return a smartass retort his way, Tyler brought our attention to the matter at hand, "What's this, Jonathan?"

"The answer."

Without wasting any time, he began to frantically shuffle through the pages.

"Achoo!"

All eyes went towards Josh, who was covering his face with his long fingers.

"’Scuse me... got me some dust allergies," he looked up at us and grinned mischievously.

Jonathan resumed searching for whatever he thought was the 'answer', whereas Tyler slapped the back of Josh's head.

"What the hell, Ty?"

"Found it."

Josh and Jonathan both spoke at the same time. Forgetting all about Josh’s antics, we all leaned forward and hovered over the book where a dusty page was sprawled open. The left page was entirely text heavy, written with ink which had faded out whereas the other side of the page had some sort of illustration. Upon close inspection, I realized it was…

…The golden pin.

I instantly grabbed the book and turned it in my direction to read the caption under the photo, "This pin is a symbol of courage and valor, assigned to the bravest of soldiers who are ready to lay down their lives in service of..."

A cold shiver ran down my spine as I mentally read the final word. My eyes travelled up and connected with Jonathan's, "Lycans."

-----

Another long and sleepless night awaited me. I wrestled my duvet covers, and breathed slowly to calm my racing mind which kept replaying memories and thoughts of the past. The night wore on as I tossed from one side to the other,the bed becoming a tangle of covers. The unsolved mysteries and problems kept on remerging, itching to be solved. I stared at the ceiling and took Goddess knows how many deep breaths but the sense of discomfort was still blossoming inside my chest. I knew it was going to be another long night so instead of lying idle, I threw the covers back and stumbled out.

"Vivian?" A light, feminine voice called my name in the darkness. It caught me off-guard, causing me to hit my toe against the bed.

I muffled the scream which threatened to escape my lips as I fell straight on the bed, clutching my toe and massaging it lightly to soothe the jolting pain.

"Are you okay, darling?" The lights switched on, the intensity of the brightness straining my vision for a second.

I looked at the person standing near my bed, the sweet smell of jasmine lingering in the air.

It was her.

"Mom?"

Forgetting the pulsating pain in my toe, I leaped over my bed and gave her a bone-crushing hug.

"You're awake!" I cupped her face and went in for another hug.

She gave out a little laugh and wrapped her arms around me, "My sweet girl. I have missed you."

"She's back!" my wolf rejoiced

I know!

A lone tear traced down my cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. Emotional pain flowed out of my every pore. I could feel the threads of discomfort, pain, anger, guilt unraveling.

"Shh, you're okay," Mom gently rubbed my back as my upper body and shoulders wracked with sobs that forced their way out, my chest rising and falling unevenly as I gasped for breath, my eyes tightly squeezed shut.

Slowly, she guided me towards the bed and laid me down, then settled next to me, putting my head on her lap.

My wolf and I were filled with warmth. Her hold was strong and gentle, unrelenting and yielding, guarding and liberating.

Her soft fingers gently massaged my hair till I was done crying. We– no I, talked for what felt like hours, unburdening myself, apologizing to her, informing her about all of my problems, my fears, my thoughts - from the murder, to my new position, to Ethan.

She calmly listened, not interrupting even once and pressed a kiss on the top of my head when I was finished.

"You don't have to apologize for anything, Vivian." I lowered my eyes but she tilted my chin up, and forced me to look at her, "Listen to me, Vivian. This is not your fault. You cannot keep on blaming yourself for everything."

"But-"

"No buts. You're Vivian, my angel daughter,” she smiled and with a wistful look carried on, “Vivian Alejandro, our brave, brave daughter."

I smiled back at her.

We stayed in each other arms for some minutes, relishing in the much needed comfort.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me, Vivian. I'll be okay."

A frown stretched upon my face. She didn't say 'I was okay' but 'I'll be okay'. I didn't want to push her so I decided to remain quiet and continued to snuggle her.

But after a second, I heard her lightly whisper. Her voice sounding more pained than anything, "I just miss him.... we miss him."

Something ached inside of me.

She inhaled loudly and continued, "I was someone who never believed in the idea of mates. It confused me, and at the same time, enraged me. Why did someone else get to decide who I had to spend my entire life with? Why couldn’t I choose my own mate like the humans did? Why don’t I get a choice?”

I got up and laid my head on her shoulder. Mother was a pretty private person, and kept most of her thoughts and feelings to herself. She didn’t tell us any stories of her childhood so I was quite keen to hear where her story was heading.

“I was mad at the Moon Goddess, so mad that I decided to rebel against her – in a stupid, sixteen-year-old way of course. I began by completely boycotting the Moon Goddess, I stopped praying to her and then became a female version of a playboy – a playgirl, I suppose. I partied most nights, and slept with anyone who I found attractive. It earned me a reputation, my parents were disappointed but they didn’t interfere, allowing me to choose how I wanted to live my life and then dealing with the consequences myself. Through those parties, I met a guy named Caleb who belonged to the South Pack. We hung out a lot and soon fell in love. On the other hand, your father was the complete opposite. He firmly believed in mates, and adored the idea of having a pre-destined soul-mate, someone who was made completely and irrevocably for him and vice versa. We occasionally saw each other in school and at parties but never made an effort to talk to each other. We belonged to different groups. He being the future Alpha, and me being… me.

“The first time I talked to your father was when I was 18, and he was 20. One day he was fighting with your grandfather in the training grounds. Almost everyone was gathered around the area, eager to see their Alpha and his son compete against each other before they both left for the Academy. Everyone loved Alejandro and was drawn to him. He was definitely attractive but his views on mates irked me so I never worshipped him like the others used to do. But that day, there was something different about your father. He looked different – a kind of beauty which made me weak in the knees. His thick and lustrous black hair were clinging to his forehead and neck, his dark eyes were deep and mesmerizing as they stared down his father. His strong muscles made me blush. I didn’t understand what was happening.

“I noticed he had also become distracted, giving his father free reign to attack him. The attack caught him off-guard so he jumped behind and let out a low warning growl to his father. Then turned his face up, and began to sniff the air. Those dark eyes swept the crowd and halted when it connected with mine. That’s when I realized what was happening – he was my mate.”

“But you weren’t 20, how did you know?”

“But he was, and the look in your father’s eyes told me everything. And on top of that, in a way I knew it was Moon Goddess’ way of punishing me – giving me someone with such power and authority, someone who believed in a completely opposite ideology. I avoided your father for three whole days. I already had Caleb and we were pretty serious too. We had been dating for more than a year and everyone in our pack knew it. But I knew I was testing your father’s patience, so on the fourth day, also the day he was to leave for the Academy, he cornered me. We had a talk where I told him that I could never be with him because I loved Caleb. He was heart-broken which shocked me. I wasn’t the mate he needed or deserved, I didn’t believe in us, I didn’t save myself for him. I was the complete opposite of what he wanted. To this day, I haven’t forgotten the look on his face; he looked so shattered. But he covered it up by sending a nod my way, and saying that he’ll wait for me.

“Nobody knew that we were mates, not even Caleb. We used to go everywhere as a couple. I occasionally caught Alejandro staring at me, and passing glares at Caleb whenever he was around. Watching me with Caleb was killing him but he never hurt him because he knew I loved him. However, a month after my 20th birthday, something terrible happened,” she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, ‘As soon as I was 20, I began to refuse all of Caleb’s sexual advances. I just didn’t feel like doing anything with him – I felt withdrawn. I later realized that my wolf was behind it, she didn’t want to hurt Alejandro’s wolf. I was 20 and our wolves had recognized the mating bond so he could now feel me being intimate with Caleb. Feeling that is the worst kind of pain a mate can experience, especially if that person is an Alpha.” A tear slipped from her eye.

It took me back to the day when I felt Ethan being intimate with that girl and how badly it hurt me, but it was controllable because it took place after I rejected him. However, he didn’t reject me and I slept with Chris... how bad was his pain?

“Caleb wasn’t happy with the constant rejection but he drank his anger down. That night, as an apology, he took me to the forest, tricking me into believing he had something to show me. But he didn’t. Instead… he raped me.”

I felt my heart drop. It was as if her revelation had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I lay there struggling to breathe. I was unable to speak, totally stunned. My wolf let out a painful and piercing howl inside my mind.

That fucker raped our Mom?

“I was in shock, completely paralyzed. He was someone I loved, someone I trusted so how could he hurt me like this? All of a sudden, he began to shout at me, telling me how much I annoyed him and how he was only using me for sex. He also revealed that he had cheated on me with several other women. I just remained silent, letting it all happen. It felt as if my soul had escaped my body. I couldn’t fight back. I just couldn’t.” She wiped the tears which were cascading down her cheek.

My heart was aching for the pain my mom endured. I leaned forward and gave her a comforting hug, “You’re so brave, Mama.”

Amidst the tears, she passed me a grateful smile and then proceeded with the story, “Caleb left me there. I didn’t have the energy or the willpower to move, so I remained on the ground and looked at the sky. The full moon stared back at me, a witness to the tragedy. I closed my eyes and for the first time in two years, prayed to the Moon Goddess, begging for her help. And just the very next second, Alejandro found me. The last thing I saw was his beautiful face, full of worry, hovering over mine, and the light from the Moon surrounding his head like a halo.

“He took care of me, and nursed me back to health. He also didn’t tell anyone about what happened to me because he knew it was my choice. I was taken aback by his behavior – he was so pure, so loving, so gentle with me. How? How could he treat me this way after how I treated him? I was puzzled, so I asked him for an answer because my brain couldn’t fathom it. ‘Because you’re my mate, my life, my very own.’ His answer left me speechless.

“He never gave up on the idea of us. When I joined the Academy, I found out that Alejandro told Alpha Lennon about what happened to me. Even though they have a four-year age gap, he and Alejandro were good friends. I was angry at Al, so very angry. How could he tell something so personal to Lennon? I was just beginning to trust him. But later Lennon calmed me down and explained that Alejandro found and killed Caleb the very same day. Since he belonged to the South-Moon pack, Lennon being his Alpha felt his pain and Caleb had also conveniently mind-linked his Alpha for help. So when Lennon arrived at the spot, and found your father with his murdered pack member, it became necessary for Al to give his reasoning. He knew Alejandro could never kill someone without any reason so he allowed him to explain, if it was someone else, it would’ve been considered an act of war. Your father tried to make up a false story as he did not want to break my trust, but Lennon caught him, leaving him with no other option – Lennon was an Alpha, after all. Al made him swear on the Moon Goddess that he’d never tell another soul, and after he swore, he told Lennon about what Caleb did to me, his mate. To this day, only your father and Alpha Lennon know about that incident. And now you.

“Your father made me believe in mates, he showed me why we were chosen for each other. He showed me the reason why Moon Goddess matched us, and why we were perfect for each other. He gave me a second chance. Without it, without him, I would’ve been lost.”

By now, we both were a mess, our faces wet with hot tears. Salty tears spilled down my cheek, drenching my shirt.

“Vivian, he taught me the meaning of mates – mates who give each other the courage to be better than they already are, who protect each other no matter what, who love each other no matter what, who make each other feel like anything is possible.” She placed a kiss on my forehead. “Everyone deserves a second chance. We all have flaws, we all make mistakes – after all we are partly humans, no?” she chuckled, “I was given a second chance by your father which allowed me to redeem myself, to regrow, to start all over again. I realized that a second chance isn’t given to make things right, but to show that we can become better even after we fail. Sometimes, two people have to fall apart to understand how badly they need to fall back together.”

A comfortable silence surrounded us for a few minutes.

"Dad will come back to us, right?"

She grinned, "Oh, he better or I'll personally go and bring his annoying ass back to where he belongs. I am not done with him yet."

Amidst the tears, a bubble of laughter spilled from my mouth, "In that case, I'll accompany you."

After giving her another hug, I once again laid my head on her lap and closed my eyes. Her sweet and comforting voice began to sing the lullaby which she always sang for Zack and I when we were unable to sleep.

"I see the moon, the moon sees me

shining through the leaves of the old oak tree

Oh, let the light that shines on me

shine on the one I love.

Over the mountain, over the sea,

back where my heart is longing to be

Oh, let the light that shines on me

shine on the one I love."

A smile formed on my face as I felt my body become lethargic. After weeks, I finally got to experience peace.

"Give him a chance, sweetheart."

Those were the last words I heard as I succumbed myself to darkness; lying peacefully in the arms of my protector.

-----

It was 10 am when my eyes opened and I welcomed the day. For the first time in what felt like forever, I slept like a baby. I looked to my side and saw that Mother wasn't next to me. Her scent was very faint which meant she left hours ago.

I got up and made my way towards the bathroom to prepare myself for the day. After brushing my teeth and taking a quick shower, I headed down towards the pack-house to check upon Mother and to fetch something to eat.

The kitchen and living room was buzzing with people - elderly, adults, children all eagerly munching on their breakfast. Upon noticing my presence, all heads bowed down and unanimously uttered "Alpha".

I smiled back in return and headed towards Levi, our pack's chef. He and his team of helpers have been feeding our entire pack for years.

"A splendid morning to you, Twixy."

I smiled. He had me nicknamed after my favourite chocolate Twix. I’ll practically inhale it if I ever see it in front of me.

"Morning, Uncle Levi. Can I get a plate of whatever you're serving? I'm dying of hunger." My stomach groaned in agreement.

He grinned, "I'm on it."

After he disappeared inside the kitchen, I made a round of the living, greeting everyone and asking about their well-being.

Jonathan was sitting on the bar stool, eating his breakfast with Elliot.

"Morning Vivian, sleep well?" Jonathan got up to hug me.

"Surprisingly, yes."

Elliot got up to hug me as well, "Want to join us?"

"I need to check up on someone, but save me a seat. I'll be back before you know it."

They both nodded and continued to eat their breakfast.