"You do know if Chris finds out you're here without Milo you're a dead man, right?" I say, shutting my front door behind us and hanging up my keys on the rack.

"Eh." Alex shrugs nonchalantly. "What's he going to do? Fire me?" he jokes, toeing off his shoes and setting them next to the door.

No, but he may fire me.

He saunters over to my couch, plopping down and making himself at home. Turning on my TV, he looks over at me expectantly. "Friends?"

"Sure. While you find the episode we're on I'm going to change into my PJ's," I inform him, already walking to my room.

When I turned around to pick him up at the back of the hotel, he had changed into some basketball shorts and a t-shirt, what he normally wears to bed.

I can't believe I turned around and brought him back here. If Chris finds out I'm dead. But somehow I couldn't say no to Alex.

And truth is, I hate being alone. I really hate the feeling. I think because I grew up so close with my dad and the boys I'm so used to always having someone around. I'm used to being around people twenty four seven and being on the go.

Honestly, I'm kind of glad Alex is staying with me tonight so I won't be alone. I think being alone in my own house would really hit me hard and give me a hollow, leaden feeling. Sure, this place is my home and I love it, but it wouldn't fully feel like home without the guys or someone here with me.

I think my fear and uneasy feeling of being alone stemmed during my parents divorce and the move to Nashville.

When we moved to Nashville, my dad, Joe, and Zack got a moving truck and loaded most of our stuff in it. They drove down here a couple days ahead of me and the rest of the boys to set up. I stayed behind because someone had to drive the van down here, and my dad didn't trust the other boys to drive it. We didn't go down at the same time because Andy and Travis had to pack up the rest of their things and they wanted to tell their families goodbye.

During those few days before moving, my mom refused to talk to us. She didn't want to be around while we packed up and left. She decided to leave and stay with my aunt instead of spending my last few days in Ohio with me. I understand it was hard on her and that she didn't want to see or be around my dad, but she didn't even want to look at me or Joe either. She didn't even tell us goodbye.

That hurt the most.

I know she was angry about us leaving, but she could have come with us. She should have come with us. Instead, she just asked for a divorce and didn't even care about what we wanted or cared to hear us out.

The last few days I was in Ohio, in my childhood home, I was alone. The silence was deafening and everything felt empty. Sure, a lot of our stuff was packed and sent to Nashville, making the house physically empty, but my chest felt emptier. For the first time in my life I felt... alone.

Out of all the things I resent my mother for, that ranks as number one. No matter how many times I tried to call her those last few nights to have her home with me, she never answered.

I know she was mad. I know she was upset at us for chasing our dream, but at the end of the day she was still my mom and I needed her.

Shaking the memories from my head, I quickly change into some sleep shorts and a t-shirt, brushing my teeth before meeting back up with Alex on the couch.

Halfway through the first episode of Friends, my phone dings, signaling a new text message.

Does this pregnancy make me look fat?

There's a photo sent with the text that makes me laugh. The photo is a selfie Zack took with the camera casted downward to capture his stomach that he was jutting out, resting his hand over it like most pregnant women do.

Weird pregnancy cravings are real by the way. Joe was repulsed when I tried pickles with peanut butter.

"Oh my gosh." I quietly snicker while shaking my head, nose scrunched up, repulsed as well.

I swear, that kid will eat almost anything. When we were kids he even ate dirt and bugs just to gross me out.

"What?" Alex asks, quirking up a brow.

I show him Zack's texts and he lets out a chuckle.

"He's really going to be a dad, huh?" he asks after a while, voice somber.

"Yeah," I breathe out, still in disbelief. "It's insane to think about."

Zack is like a second brother to me. He's been in my life for as long as I can remember. He and Joe have been joined at the hip since kindergarten.

Growing up, Zack didn't have the best home life. His parents weren't very warm or nurturing and Zack was a bit of a wild child. Still is. Yet, they never gave him the attention he wanted or even needed, leading him to become a part of our family.

We always joke that he's the adopted child, because he is. We never officially filled out any paper work, but my dad took him in and treated him like his own son. I'm pretty sure Zack stayed at my house more than his own while growing up. Our guest bedroom turned into his room because he stayed with us so often.

When he told me he got his girlfriend Hannah of only a few month pregnant, I was livid. Zack isn't really a relationship guy. None of his girlfriend's last more than a couple of months. But after hearing the excitement in his voice and having him promise me he'd take care of both her and the baby, I was happy for him.

Zack is a really sweet and caring guy, crazy, but he'll give you the shirt off his back if you need it. Deep down, I know he'll be a good dad and care for his baby. With the relationship he had with his parents, I know he'll be damned if he doesn't raise his kid the way he wanted his own parents to raise him.

"Zack's going to be a great dad," I voice out loud confidently. "He didn't have the best home life growing up, but I know he'll give that baby all the love and care in the world. He's basically my brother, and I know he can be a bit crazy and immature sometimes, but he'll be a great dad."

"I bet he will." Alex's face softens and he give me a small smile.

After three episodes of Friends, my eyes start to become very heavy and I try my best to stifle a yawn.

"I think I'm going to head to bed," I announce as the episode ends, standing up from the couch as he hits pause. "I'll get you a blanket and some pillows. I'd offer you Joe's or my dad's bed, but Lord knows the last time Joe washed his sheets and my dad's bed feels like a rock," I admit, heading to the hallway closet to grab him a blanket and pillow.

"Oh... thanks," Alex says, a little surprise as I hand him the blanket and pillow.

"Or I could take you back to the hotel if you want," I quickly say. I didn't even think of that, I just assumed he was staying the night.

"No, I'm good here. Thanks, Joss." He smiles, placing the pillow behind him while grabbing the blanket, sprawling out on my couch to make himself comfortable.

"Goodnight, Alex." I walk back to my room, making sure to leave the hallway light on so he's not surrounded by complete darkness.

"Goodnight, Joslyn."

I softly shut my bedroom door and climb into bed. Gosh it feels good to be back in my own bed. My bunk in the bus and hotel beds aren't bad, but nothing compares to the feeling of your own bed.

Lying in bed, comfortably sinking into my mattress and pillows, I hear rustling coming from the living room. Every few seconds I hear it again, and again, and again.

Sitting up in my bed, I wait a few minutes and it still continues. I know its Alex tossing and turning on the couch trying to get comfortable, making me feel guilty. The couch is nice and pretty comfortable, but no one likes sleeping the couch. Plus, his tall frame is probably longer than the couch, making it hard for him to fit comfortably.

Letting out a sigh, I pull back the covers and pad to my bedroom door. Quietly walking out into the hall, from the small amount of light, I can see Alex twisting and turning to get comfortable.

Mid turn in my direction, he freezes, body awkwardly positioned, realizing I'm standing in the hallway. "Sorry," he whispers, sending me an apologetic smile, easing his body into a more comfortable position.

Letting out a puff of air I contemplate my next move carefully. I know he's not going to be able to fall asleep on the couch, and the other beds in my apartment aren't suitable for sleeping. We've already shared a bed multiple times, so what's one more time going to hurt?

"Come on." I tip my head in the direction of my room, signaling for him to follow me.

He quickly scrambles to his feet, jogging behind me to catch up. His bare feet lightly slap against the hardwood flooring until he reaches the large white rug in my room. With the smile on his face he looks like a happy little puppy that gets to sleep on the bed for the first time.

Pulling back my covers, I slide to the far side of my bed along the wall, and he climbs in after me. Getting comfortable, we both end up facing each other and I can see half of his face from the moonlight seeping in through the window. Some of his curls have fallen in front of his face, slightly covering one of his piercing blue eyes.

Without hesitation, I find myself reaching out to brush the few curls out of his face. His lips twitch upward and he grabs my hand before I can retract it, lacing our fingers together.

"Thank you for letting me stay here tonight," he whispers into the darkness, as if someone else would hear him.

"Thank you for staying with me," I whisper back before closing my eyes. His hand stays intertwined with mine letting me know I'm not alone.

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