in which [name] and her friends attend an overhaul roast session.

_______

out of a certain [h/c] haired thottie from class 1-A.

As [Name] grumbled slightly, rubbing the back of her head and re-focusing on her literature work-- she had just learned that y'all'd've'f'i'd've was NOT in fact a word, yet still decided to use it simply to piss people off.

Troubling thoughts about Eri circled [Name]'s mind. The girl's terrified face had been bothering [Name] since she met the young girl, and she knew that Deku and Mirio were in the same boat.

An innocent girl growing up in a shitty household without a real childhood and without the joy of MINECRAFT? It felt all too painfully familiar to the [h/c] haired girl.

As the lunch bell finally rang, [Name] finally stretched her legs and shoved her textbook in her Epic Custom Roblox Galaxy Print Pickle Rick Bruh™ backpack as Bakugo watched nearby with utter disgust and slight fear.

"HELLO [NAME] UNKNOWN MIDDLE NAME AIZAWA!." Iida nodded politely, as [Name] sat next to him. "I MUST SAY, YOUR MEDICATION WORKED WONDERS ON MY CHEEKS! THEY ARE VERY WELL SCULPTE-"

"Iida, you don't have to speak in caps lock," Todoroki said quietly, sliding into the seat next to [Name].

[Name] nodded absentmindedly, snapping her chopsticks apart. The girl stared into her bowl of rice for a minute before realizing that Midoriya was sitting next to Iida, silently. She looked at her green-haired friend, but he sweat nervously and refused eye contact.

It had been forever since she and Izuku had talked to each other.

Every time [Name] tried to have a normal conversation with him, the boy would nervously make an excuse as to why he had to leave immediately. Last week, the excuse was that he needed to polish his All Might figurine.

"All right! Make sure you get deep in his crack!" [Name] had joked, but she was beginning to grow annoyed as her best friend, who told her anything and everything, was clearly avoiding her.

"Are you okay? You've been looking gloomy ever since you started your intern studies." Todoroki said, staring at Midoriya emotionlessly.

"You know, if you're ever feeling hopeless, let me know! We're friends, okay?" Iida said, giving the green-haired male a 'boi' handchop.

Midoriya dropped his chopsticks as tears began to fall on the table. Iida panicked, as Midoriya kept crying. [Name] awkwardly sat next to Todoroki, staring at her bowl of food, still dissociating from reality.

'Why is this hoe buffering?' Todoroki deadpanned, waving his large yaoi hand in front of [Name]'s face.

"Sadness and sorrow... The chaotic feelings I've stored up in my heart... About not being able to save her... are overflowing..." Izuku said, quoting exactly what he posted last night on r/im14andthisisdeep.

"Midoriya! You are a fellow redditor as well?" Iida chopped his fist in the air. "Wait, are you AllMightsPhatCheeks420?"

"Heroes cry when they need to, Midoriya. I hope you find some closure." Todoroki said. "And [Name]-"

[Name] was pulled out of her trance when she felt a large, warm hand cover her own. She looked up into Todoroki's bi-colored eyes staring into her [e/c] ones, sturdy and comforting.

"Remember, we're here for you too. So please don't feel like you're alone." He said quietly.

"I agree!" Iida said, putting a gentle hand on the [h/c]-haired girl's shoulder. "You can always talk to me when you're feeling down, [Name]. Unfortunately, we occupy a society 💔."

"I think you mean ,-*'^'~*-.,_,.-*~ 🎀 𝓈🍪𝒸𝒾é𝓉é 🎀 ~*-.,_,.-*~'^'*-," Aoyama moaned obnoxiously over the school intercom.

[Name] blinked as Todoroki suddenly pulled his hand away, the removal of his warmth making [Name] realize how much she was craving for any sort of affectionate touch. Intense training and 'losing' her best friend had recently been hard on her.

After everything she had been through, [Name] found security in temporary physical touches (and shitty memes). A quite unhealthy habit she had developed, but she couldn't help her fear of commitment, because that's just how it be. 😔💅.

Now, Midoriya, do you want some of my beef stew?" Iida asked the teary-eyed boy.

"[Name]. You can have half of my soba." Todoroki added, making the [e/c] eyed girl's eyes light up.

"Thank yo- AGH!" [Name] widened her eyes as she was suddenly snatched™ backwards a couple yards by her wig.

"C'mon, Pocchari." Bakugo grumbled. He took her hand and dragging her up the school building stairs.

"Damn, all these years of friendship and you still insist on calling me a fatass, you weeaboo." [Name] pouted. In a couple minutes, the two were sitting on the roof of the school.

It was quiet, nobody else in sight. The afternoon sky was beginning to settle in, as rays of amber stretched across the sky.

"So, have you dragged me here to confess your undying love with a sprinkle of foot fetish to me?" [Name] joked. Bakugo rolled his eyes, and then turned to look at the girl sitting beside him.

Her hair was slightly messy from the light breeze, short unkempt pieces tangled and thrown in different directions. With a crumpled school uniform and dark under eyes, it was easy to see that the girl was either undergoing intense training or overthinking at night.

Knowing [Name], it was quite possibly both.

"Jeez you horny woman, what did I say about laying off the weirdo fanfiction at night?" Bakugo scoffed.

"Damn, you can see them? I used a concealer, too!" [Name] whined, poking at the dark skin under her eyes with annoyance.

"Yeah, well obviously you don't know how to use makeup," Bakugo snorted.

"Sorry Bakugo, I didn't know you were James fucking Charles," [Name] retorted.

"You need to get more sleep," Bakugo rolled his eyes.

"Oh, trust me. I'll be sleeping like a baby when my custom Minion x Maid Costume Mirko and Hawks Pro hero body pillows are coming in," [Name] frothed at the mouth.

"I-" Bakugo began to insult her, but then paused, feeling guilty at the thought of hurting his own All Might Sailor Moon Sparkle edition body pillow's feelings.

[Name]'s monstrous stomach grumbled, which challenged the call of a deep sea whale.

"Did you not eat?" Bakugo raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you see, I was about to succ some delicious soba dry, until you kidnapped me." [Name] glared. "Idiot."

"I have something better than that dumb half-and-half's stale, cold soba," Bakugo said, rummaging through his backpack. He pulled out a container. "Here."

"ThoT POCKETS!" [Name] gasped, shoving one in her mouth and attacking the boy with a hug.

"H-Hey! Get off me!" Bakugo yelped, going red and tensing up as [Name] nuzzled his shoulder like a roleplay-deprived furry.

After many more cuddles (or rather assault in Bakugo's point of view), the [h/c] haired girl finally peeled herself off the blonde boy and stared at the sky.

"So, are you and Midoriya in a fight?" Bakugo asked, his eyes focused on [Name].

"I don't know. He's not talking to me right now," [Name] frowned, refusing to look Bakugo in the eyes.

[Name] widened her eyes as Bakugo's warm, muscular arms wrapped around her waist. He pulled her into her chest roughly.

"Owwww, Katsuki." [Name] quietly whined.

"H-Hey, what's up with the first name?" Bakugo grumbled, cheeks red. [Name] squirmed around in his arms until she was facing him, and then glared up at the boy. Bakugo's red eyes glared back down at her.

"You gonna let go of me?" [Name] huffed quietly. "Or do you like the feeling of my boobs against your chest?"

"Oh please. I'm the one with the honkers in this relationship." Bakugo smirked, causing [Name] to angrily squirm more.

Relationship? [Name] tensed.

Silence.

"Hey," Bakugo said, his voice quiet and deep. "Forget about Midoriya. He doesn't deserve you."

"Wh-What?" [Name] stuttered, her cheeks slightly pink at how close the two were. Bakugo's forehead touched hers, and his expression looked calm for once, causing an aura of warmth and coziness to surround the two.

"Tell me if anyone hurts you. I'll take care of them for you." Bakugo murmured against her, his lips gently touching her forehead.

"This is starting to sound disturbingly like the Yandere Boyfriend x Reader ASMR I listen to at night..." [Name] whispered to herself.

With that, [Name] began to think about what it would be like... If she and Bakugo were more than just friends. How it would feel to be able to give her heart to someone, being able to rest in their embrace, sending them shitty memes at 2AM without controversies, having a lifelong partner to troll little girls on Roblox with?

[Name] was tempted to press her head into his chest, to block out the rest of the world. For someone who seemed angry and closed off all the time, Bakugo looked open in the moment, inviting. Just for [Name]. He could be hers. She could be his.

But then, her mind flashed with thoughts of Kaminari, Kirishima, Deku, and everyone else who she had formed bonds with.

Damn, my friends are cockblocking me without even realizing, [Name] thought with frustration. She was about to pull away when the two were interrupted.

"Kacchan? [Name]?" A soft voice said from the door. [Name] jumped in surprise, headbutting Bakugo in the face by accident and pouncing on her Thot Pockets.

"FUCK!" Bakugo cursed, glaring at Midoriya and holding his red nose.

"Mmm HMMMM?" [Name] hummed, trying to pretend like she and her childhood enemy-turned friend weren't just feeling each other up.

"Uh- Umm... Upperclassman Amajiki told me to tell you that you're needed at your agency tomorrow... Just... Letting you know." Midoriya mumbled.

"Well, Bakugo, thanks for the Pockets and nice, respectful, and friendly chat." [Name] said, reaching to politely pat Bakugo on his left arm, but accidentally reaching too far and awkwardly petting one of his asscheeks like a creep. "I'll see ya later!"

The [h/c] haired girl sped out of the tension-filled scene as quickly as she could, and soon after, Midoriya followed.

The two awkwardly walked through the corridors side-by-side in silence.

"Izu-" [Name] started, but Midoriya turned towards her and grabbed her shoulders gently.

"[Name], I'm sorry if it seems like I'm mad at you-- I'm not, I'm just being dumb and I have a lot on my mind. So, can we just... Pretend like nothing happened? It'll take some time... But I want my best friend back." He said.

"I never stopped being your best friend, Izu," [Name] nodded, and Midoriya let out a relieved sigh as his heart warmed at her familiar smile.

___

"You guys are heading into work? Us too!" Ochaco said excitedly. [Name], Midoriya, Kirishima, Ochaco, Tsuyu, and a few pro heroes were all walking in the same direction for their intern work.

"Oh! You guys are going this way too?" Kirishima asked, as the group walked to the train station.

"The same station, too? That's a coincidence!" Midoriya stated as the group was sitting near each other on the train.

"I love you all, but you're fucking stupid if you don't realize we're all doing a mission together or some shit." [Name] stated, being the intelligent one in the group for once in her 16 years of life.

"Who are you and what have you done with the dumbass [Name]?" Tsuyu lovingly squished the [h/c] haired girl's cheeks, to which [Name] smiled.

As the group got off the train and continued to walk together, [Name] caught sight of Nejire, Mirio, and Amajiki (who was, like usual, pressing his head against the building).

"Yooo, Tamaki's having a Megamind moment," [Name] said, joining him and smashing her head against the building a little harder than her brain cells would have liked her to.

"Bonk," Kirishima said, as [Name] painfully ascended to the fifth dimension.

"URARAKA, TSUYU, [NAME]!" Nejire squealed, somehow picking up the three girls with her ultra Gorilla Grip strength.

"MMmmm yes, girls," [Name] frothed as she snuggled against them, enjoying the feeling of Nejire's, Ochaco's, and Tsuyu's affectionate touch. When it came time for all the students to go inside the building, [Name] widened her eyes as she saw many other pro heroes, such as...

"Dad?" [Name] gasped loudly. "You never told me you would be here!"

Aizawa looked down at his daughter, who was currently sporting a shirt that said "Behind every great horse girl who believes in herself is a Daddy who believed in her first."

"Y'all hear sumn?" Aizawa said, choosing to pretend like he didn't know [Name] for the sake of his own dignity due to her choice of clothing.

"We already been done known you're a dilf Eraserhead, It was all over National News... 😐" Rock Lock rolled his eyes. Meanwhile, in the corner, Izuku busted a phat nut for the millionth time over seeing so many heroes gathered in one place.

"Girls, remember what I said? Even if you're just students, you're now a legitimate part of our forces! So you'll have to play an active role in that matter." Ryuku said, her eyes narrowing. "Nighteye, let's get started."

"Thanks to everyone gathering information, we will now have a a conference regarding what the small association, Shie Hassaiakai, is planning." Nighteye stated.

With that, everyone took their seats, and [Name] found herself sitting at the large conference table along with many other heroes.

Those of us at Nighteye Agency have been investigating the villain group, Hassakai, for two weeks following the Reservoir Dog incident." Nighteye's sidekick, who [Name] came to know as Bubble Girl, started.

"I learned that in the past year, the Hassaikai members have increased contact with other shady groups, and recently, the League of Villains." Centipeder continued.

With the click of a remote button, a horrifically Deep Fried picture of Twice and another shady figure appeared on the large screen in the room. They were standing in front of a car, while Twice's ass was edited to look humongous, taking up half of the large screen.

"Sorry, umm... I meant to revert them back to normal, but I didn't get time..." Bubble Girl sighed.

"GOD DAMNNNNN! THICC KING!" [Name] bowed down to the large picture, causing Aizawa to stuff his scarf in her mouth.

"Precisely, Horse Girl." Nighteye agreed.

"With the help of the police, I was able to see that a conflict had occurred between the League and the Hassaikai." Centipeder said, switching to a picture of a building that was completely destroyed. It seemed like the two groups had a fight in there or something of the sort.

"They definitely weren't smooching in there..😔" Kirishima sighed sadly. "Fighting your colleagues isn't manly."

"So, we put out requests on the Hero Network-- Shit sorry, uh, wrong picture--" Bubble girl fumbled with the remote as a large picture of Lin-Manuel Miranda sexily biting his lip took over the screen, and then finally being able to switch to the correct slide, continued.

"Why are UA kids here? We'll never get anywhere with them." Rock Lock huffed, glaring specifically at [Name], who didn't notice and carried on photoshopping a cursed masterpiece on her phone, Catgirl! Nomu and Neko! Deku holding hands and blushing.

"Don't say that! My interns have valuable information!" Fatgum said, standing up quickly and motioning towards Amajiki, Kirishima, and [Name].

"We do?" [Name] clumsily dropped her phone on the middle of her table, causing Midoriya to widen his eyes in horror.

"By the way, for those of you who haven't met me, I'm Fatgum!" He said, causing Ochaco and Tsuyu to squeal at how chubby and round he was. "Here, have some candy!"

"This shit is so tasty that I'd follow him into a van for it," [Name] said, sticking one into her mouth.

"We've talked about stranger danger before, [Name]..." Aizawa said, a disappointed look on his face.

"We suspect one of the Hassaikai's main sources of income is selling unauthorized drugs. And at Red Riot's fight the other day, we saw one being shot into Amajiki-- a drug that destroys quirks."

"Tamaki! You're okay, right?" Mirio said, as a shocked look swept across the crowd's faces.

"Yeah. I recovered after I slept." Tamaki said, hiding behind [Name]'s body as everyone looked at him.

"[Name] was about to be shot too, but thanks to Kirishima, the second bullet bounced off his body and we were able to retrieve it for examination. After analyzing it, we realized human blood and cells were inside." Fatgum said. As everyone praised Kirishima, the redhead blushed as he got lovey head rubs from [Name] for protecting her.

"So what does this have to do with the Hassaikai?" Rock Lock asked.

The chains for distributing this product are complex, so we don't know if it started at the Hassaikai. But we know that they interacted with one of the intermediaries."

A picture of a man appeared on the screen. The top of the picture read 'DRUGLORD = CRINGE 😹' 'BOTTOM TEXT.' [Name] paled as she realized it was the man she had met earlier. Deku and Mirio also clenched their fists at the sight of him.

"This is the young head. Chisaki's quirk, Overhaul, lets him disassemble and restore things. He has a daughter named Eri. There are no records of her birth, but when Mirio and Midoriya encountered her, she had many bandages wrapped around her arms and legs."

"I saw her as well. When I was on patrol with Hawks and Mirko." [Name] said grimly. "She seemed to be really scared of Chisaki."

"Yes. Along with added input from Horse Girl, we're wondering if Chisaki is using his daughter's body to make and sell bullets. Although they may just be sampling and testing the drug, many ideas for crime will brew since this bullet takes away quirks." Nighteye said.

"We'll definitely save and protect Eri next time!" Midoriya and Mirio said, their eyes determined.

___

[Name] stretched her arms as she walked back to the Cool Kids Table™ outside, where all the other students sat (letting the old boomer heroes talk amongst themselves).

The meeting had ended with Nighteye explaining that the objective of the heroes at today's conference was to visit multiple Hassaikai establishments for any information on where their main base was.

"Eri should be with us right now... It would be better for her." Midoriya sulked.

"I agree. Even [Name] is more qualified to take care of her than Overhaul, and she's a mess," Tsuyu said.

"I am NOT a mess," [Name] said, digging through her pocket for a snack and only finding half-full mustard packets. Kirishima sighed and slid her a Rice Krispie under the table.

"Mr. Aizawa!" Ochaco said, as said man walked over to the kiddie table.

"Call me Eraserhead outside of school," Aizawa said.

"Hm... I don't think I will, Eraserdaddy." [Name] mumbled quietly.

"I was going to recommend your work studies be suspended for today, since the Villain League is involved." Aizawa sighed.

"Oh please. The League of Villains can't hold a candle to a Chad like me," [Name] grinned. "How are they gonna take over Japan when they can't even buy some mf Vaseline?"