《As Long As I Live》Difficult Choices
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"Have a seat, Mr. Hassan."
Six men sat around the table as a deep silence enveloped the room. Aamir took the middle seat with his brother to his left and his father-in-law to his right. They had been called for a briefing on Mayra's condition by her doctors.
A whole week had passed. A week of desperation, and Mayra had yet to open her eyes.
The doctor stared at Aamir's worn out face. The entire hospital had come to know who he was. Doctors, nurses and even some of the in-patients could instantly recognise him. He was the husband of the woman admitted into ICU after a horrible accident. He was the man who arrived early and stayed as late as the hospital would allow, sometimes even arguing or begging for extra time with his wife. He was the heartbroken man, who sat by his wife's bed, every single day, and spent hours talking to her, apologising and telling her that he loved her, and begging her to come back.
"How is she, Doctor?" Aamir asked, his shaking voice proving his fear of the answer to that question.
"This has been an unusual case in many respects, Mr Hassan. It's been a week since she was brought in. Her condition has somewhat improved though she hasn't regained consciousness, which is very worrisome. But her vitals have now become quite strong. We were able to put her off of life-support system for six hours and still counting. That has encouraged us to take the next step. Which is why we are here."
"What is the next step?" Mayra's father asked.
The doctor seated opposite Khalid answered, "I am the neurosurgeon looking after your wife's case, Mr Hassan. These are Mayra's CT Scan reports. This patch here, this is the blood clot from the accident precisely where she hit her head. We think that this is the reason why she hasn't regained consciousness because there is pressure on her brain. This needs to be removed. So the logical step would be to surgically remove the clotted blood and the normal fluid circulation around her brain can resume. With the intracranial pressure getting back to normal, its highly probable that she will regain consciousness."
"Probable?"
"Neurosurgery is very tricky, Mr Hassan. I cannot tell you for sure, nor can I guarantee that this will bring your wife back. And the surgery itself is very risky. There have been on table deaths and we will have to be prepared for the worst when we take this step."
Khalid frowned deeply. "Then why bother at all? If its so risky then let's wait it out. I'm sure Bhabhi will wake up. We'll wait for as long as it takes."
"No matter how long you wait she isn't going to wake up on her own because of that clot. It has to be removed, and hopefully that will be the stimulus required to wake her. And if you think surgery is a risk that you do not wish to take, then please understand for as long as she remains in that coma, her body will slowly undergo atrophy, that is waste away due to lack of use. Her muscles, organs, her whole body actually. That is what we have to discuss. Whether you are willing to let her stay in her coma, because the monitors show that she is alive, or to take her to surgery, and risk her life, to give her her life back."
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Aamir looked at the doctor angrily. "You can't possibly expect me to make a choice like that. There has to be another way!"
"I'm sorry, Mr Hassan, there is no other way. I suggest you discuss this matter with your family and let us know. We will have to prepare for the surgery. Please excuse us."
Aamir stared numbly as the doctors exited the room. The three men remained, neither of them willing to utter a single word as though searching the silence for an answer to this impossible question. How could he choose? The option that risked Mayra's life was no option at all. There was no way he could put her life on the line like that. But then what else was there to do? Come back day after day and watch her comatose form as she slowly wasted away.
Anger surged through his body as he thought of the predicament he was in. Why was this happening? Why was he caught between such impossible circumstances? Why couldn't he and Mayra have a normal life? Why did Mayra have to suffer this way? Life was supposed to be unfair, but this was cruelty. This was torture. It had been hard enough to come to the hospital to watch Mayra as she lay unconscious everyday, but to live with the knowledge that she was dying, no matter what he chose, that was beyond his capacity to bear.
"Let's go home. We need to talk this through," Khalid murmured and Aamir followed him out of the room. His father in law left quietly, without a word to them. Aamir actually felt sorry for him.
Sighing, he turned to Khalid. "Go get the car. I'll check up on Mayra and be right with you." Aamir said as he walked to the very familiar corridor of the ICU. Standing outside of the room, he stared at his wife from the other side of the glass panel. He felt ashamed. He was a coward, trying to run away from his problems, their problems, and trying desperately to blame someone for the horror that was now his life. He didn't possess an ounce of Mayra's courage.
"I love you, sweetheart."
He ran the back of his hand down the glass panel, hoping for the barriers between them to vanish so that he could touch her soft cheek as he wished to. But the cold glass that separated them was a harsh reminder of where they stood. Of where their relationship stood. On the verge of total collapse.
What could he possibly do? He would give anything to have Mayra open her eyes for he needed, desperately needed to tell her that he loved her, that he was sorry, that he would love her till death. But could he risk her life by sending her to surgery?
His cell phone rang beside him, the name of the caller chafing against his raw wounds. After five rings, he answered the call, highly annoyed.
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"Hello."
"Aamir? Salam. Its Faiza."
"Salam."
"Umm.." she sounded nervous. Her voice betrayed her.
"What is it Faiza? I'm busy here!" He snapped as he walked to his car and slammed the door shut. Khalid looked at him warily.
"I just wanted to know how Mayra is doing," she whispered defensively.
"Same as before." Aamir retorted.
"But Mum said that she's getting better!"
"Listen Faiza, I appreciate your concern, but just like mine, your concern for Mayra has shown itself quite too late. Call home if you want details 'coz I'm in no mood to talk to anyone."
Faiza's small, sad voice sounded through the phone, "okay."
"And Faiza?"
"Ya?"
Aamir turned to Khalid who was driving the car and said in calm voice, "It's not going to be easy for me to forgive anyone who has ever hurt Mayra. No matter who it is." He hung up without giving her a chance to reply.
Khalid stared at the road, avoiding his brother's gaze for he knew that Aamir's words were directed as much at him as they were at Faiza. He breathed a sigh of relief when Aamir's phone rang again.
"WHAT?" shouted Aamir into the phone, answering the call at first ring, without bothering to look at the caller.
"Aamir Hassan? This is the Inspector-in-charge of your wife's case. You asked us to inform you of all the developments."
"And?" said Aamir, getting his voice under control.
"We found him. Actually, he surrendered. The truck driver."
"Keep him there. I'm coming" He hung up and mouthed a single command to Khalid, " Police Station. Now."
Khalid felt alarmed at his brother's sudden change of attitude. He knew what the phone call probably meant, but Aamir was seething in rage. His anger was palpable in the car. He felt compelled to try and stay his brother, "Bhai, not now. Bhabhi needs you.."
"I said police station! NOW!"
Sighing, Khalid took the nearest turn to head to this new destination, apprehension screaming through his mind. As soon as Khalid parked the car, Aamir had jumped out and walked into the building with long, purposeful strides. Afraid that his brother would probably end up killing someone, Khalid ran after him.
Aamir walked up to the inspector and asked, "Where is he?"
"Back there," the inspector pointed. "We're interrogating him. Hey! You can't go there!"
Blinded by his rage, and fuelled by the memory of Mayra lying on the road in a bloody heap Aamir pushed the door open and walked in. He spotted the driver instantly, he was the one scared to death. Without further ado, Aamir lunged at him and punched his face breaking his nose. He fell back from his chair and Aamir went down with him, punching him repeatedly.
"You bastard! I'll kill you!" Aamir screamed as four police officers and Khalid all tried to lift him off the man who was now writhing in pain.
"Aamir Hassan! Stop this nonsense! Please leave!" The Inspector shouted.
"Bhai, please!" Khalid pulled him away.
The driver pulled himself up and stared at Aamir. "This is why I ran away after hitting your wife. I knew this would happen and you would react that way. You would be so angry that you would never believe what I had to say."
"Shut up! Before I kill you, just shut up!"
"She ran in front of my truck! I didn't hit her on purpose!" The man shouted back.
Getting increasingly angry himself Khalid asked, "why the hell were you on that road anyway? It's a residential colony! Your truck is not allowed there, nor that awful speed you were driving at!"
"My truck's brakes had failed! I was on my way to have them repaired at the service centre two lanes away from the accident spot." He wailed, falling to his knees. He looked up at Aamir. "Please. I came back for a reason. I had to tell you something. I can't keep it to myself anymore, its driving me insane!"
"What?" Aamir shouted yanking his arms from the policemen angrily.
"Your wife had enough time to get off the road! I was honking for minutes before she was hit. I tried to swerve to dodge her but she got hit anyway. That's why the impact was the way it was!"
The Inspector-in-charge walked forward and looked at the driver, "What are you implying?"
The driver looked at Aamir as he replied. "I saw her face. She was shocked to see the truck but then she closed her eyes. When she opened them, she looked as if.. as if she wanted to be hit. May be she did. I think she wanted to die!"
Aamir froze. No it couldn't be. He couldn't have driven Mayra to the brink of suicide. Could he?
*********
:
Okay! Sorry for the delay peoples, but I'm kinda super busy these days.
Hope you enjoy this chapter. Mayra's troubles are only just beginning, trust me. The more Aamir digs, the more he'll find out of how Mayra suffered. Many more twists and turns on the way!
Hold tight, and Happy Reading!
Love ya!!
CrazyPunter
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