The next morning I'm woke up to the sound of Jax's breathing in my ear. He's softly cuddling into me and we're holding each other perfectly, I'm wrapped in his embrace, and our legs are together. I rub his arm when I wake up in our position. We're spooning and the position makes me laugh.

I yawn reaching for my phone to try and look at the time but, it's dead. I grab Jax's instead and see the time, it's seven, way too early. But what stops me is what message he has this morning.

Good morning! I can't wait to see you! It reads as my gut turns. What the fuck? I look over my shoulder and see Jax still sleeping before I open his phone fully. And my heart drops to my ass, I feel tears whelp in my eyes, and vomit wants to rise in my throat.

"Oh my god" I whisper looking at the name. I never thought I would see that name, and now, my heart can't take it. Poppy Jenkins.

The tears whelp in my eyes and I feel them leaking down my face before I sprint out of bed and leave Jax there, naked. Naked after what we woke up in the middle of the night and did, and naked after he went to the kitchen to get water and came back harder and ready for more last night.

By the time I've shut the bathroom door I'm in a full blown sob. I can't believe this, he-, I can't function. I believed him, and a part of me wants to hold onto hope that she means nothing, but I also know she's his past, and she meant something to him or he wouldn't have fucked her. Immediately I dress myself, I can't believe I actually gave him my body again.

I find the closed toilet and sit down on the lid before shutting the sliding door to it so I can cry in peace. I'm a mess, a fucked up mess.

I knew it was too good to be true. I'm wiping my tears constantly, and trying to hold back my sobs when there's tapping on the bathroom door. "Ry baby you okay?" I hear Jaxton's voice and immediately my anger flares.

I yank the bathroom door open and immediately meet him face to face before reaching up and slapping his cheek. "How fucking could you?" I ask him through my tears as he grabs my hands and pushes me into the wall so I can't move.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" He asks angry flaring from his nostrils.

"Really? You think I'm this stupid! You fed me bullshit! I thought you cared, I thought you really meant you wanted this but no. You're fucking another woman behind my back?!" I shout at him with blurry vision from my tears.

"What the fuck are you talking about Rylee? I'm not fucking anyone but you!" He shouts at me as I try kicking him away from me. That only fuels him to push me harder into the wall, not enough to hurt me, but enough to keep his grip. His full body weight is against me when he reaches up and holds my jaw in place.

"Stop crying." He tells me as he wipes my tears. "I can't when you've hurt me again! You promised me Jax!!" I shout at him as he sighs and pulls away.

"I didn't do shit! What the fuck is wrong with you?" He ask walking away to put his hands on his hips.

"Is there something going on you'd like to tell me? Because from what I thought we were finally okay." He tells me as I now look at his body, with the boxers covering his private area. I wipe my face when I look into his eyes and I can tell he's confused, he thinks I'm stupid.

"You fucked Poppy. Why else would she be texting you? Good morning I can't wait to see you? Do you think I'm that fucking stupid! My phones dead and I wanted to check what time it was so I could check on the kids but no! No! You're whore is texting you and obviously needs some good dick to hold her over until you fuck her again so you know what stay the fuck away from me!" I shout walking towards the bathroom door to walk out.

But immediately Jax's palm hits the drywall and he blocks the fucking door. "What the fuck did you just say to me?" He asks fuming around. He's so pissed off, majorly.

"Hit me. You look like you want to. Just hit me and go fuck Poppy." I spit out full of tears as his face softens.

"What the fuck? Why are you-, oh my god. Rylee I'm not fucking cheating on you! I haven't been with anyone but you! Poppy's fucking married! With daughters! Four of them and a husband! She's-, she's gained fifty pounds after all the girls she's had and she texted me the other day about getting her a personal trainer Ry. I have a consultation with her and one of the female trainers at the gym like I always have with new clients, you know I'm picky about who's in my gym. So the girl I was setting her up with is going to be with us, and we're going to figure out a meal plan and exercises for her postpartum to lose weight, at 9 this morning might I add since it's Saturday and she didn't want people to see her in the gym because she thinks she's fat. What the fuck do you think of me? That I'd do that! I married you! Not her because she never meant anything to me like that! Now it's getting thrown in my face for trying to help her lose weight so she feels pretty for her husband again? Might I add, the husband who also has a membership at the gym, and that I know personally. I'd never fuck Poppy again, I haven't since before we got together. The fact that you think that about me fucking hurts. And you want me to hit you? Really? If you're waiting on that then you'll be old and dead waiting because that will never happen. No matter how pissed I am I won't touch you like that, unlike you who thinks it's okay to slap me without even discussing anything with me." He tells me as I shrink down on my heels.

I was so wrong. What did I do?

"You really trust me don't you? And love me huh?" He asks looking down at me as I see his eyes. He's so hurt his eyes are full, and I messed up so damn bad.

"Jax I'm sorry" I whisper trying to touch him when he pulls my hands off of him and opens the door walking to the bedroom. He goes out of the bedroom door as I follow him to the the kitchen where he's packing his stuff up. To leave, again.

"If you walk out of that door we're done!" I spit out behind him. He slowly turns as I stand there holding his arms to explain what I just did to us.

"I'm so sorry okay? Every fear I had came to my mind and I'm so sorry I assumed and accused you of something you didn't do. Jax I'm sorry, but can you blame me? I see that after finally trusting you again and my guard immediately goes back up. I'm sorry, and when you get mad at me I immediately assume the worst of us and I feel like you want to hit me because of what I've done." I tell him as he throws his bag into the hardwood floor.

"I want to hit you? Hit you? Have I ever put a hand on you other than to show you I love you or to get your attention?" He asks as I shake my head no.

"Have I ever tired to hit you?" He asks as I shake my head no. "Have I ever held you against your will somehow and have made you feel like I wanted to?" He asks as I shake my head no. The only time he grabs me is when he holds me in place so I'll talk to him.

"Then why would I hit you?" He ask holding his palms out while explaining.

"Because you're capable of it. You could, and I'm scared you'll get so mad you'll blow up one day and it'll be on me for something stupid like what just happened." I tell him as he rubs his hand through his head.

"Did I blow up thirty seconds ago?" He asks as I shake my head no. He didn't, and I feel stupid.

"Then why would I?" He asks again as I feel tears lean down my face. "I'm sorry." I whisper looking at him as he sighs. He stares at me crying my eyes out, like I always used to do when we fought, and he just opens his arms.

I immediately rush forward to his chest and wrap my arms around his waist as I hold him. "I'm so sorry. I'll never question it again, Jax I'm sorry. I was angry and I let it get the best of me when I slapped you, it was uncalled for." I whisper as he rubs my hair calming me down.

"Rylee I recorded every conversation and text message I had with her for this exact reason. If people thought that because I was letting her into the gym on days we don't usually let people, I knew that this would happen, I fucking knew it. But let me tell you this, I've never hit on her or have found her attractive like you. I fucked her because she was a pussy and available, I fuck you because I love you. There's a big difference Ry." He tells me onto my hair as I nod.

"Please forgive me." I whisper over into his chest. "I will, promise not to do that again." He tells me as I nod over and over again. I hold him closer as I sob over into his chest because of what I've done. I'm so stupid, I messed up so much, it was so good too.

"I messed this up didn't I?" I whisper pulling away as he reaches for my face and wipes my tears.

"You didn't. I wouldn't be here if you didn't forgive me, and I'll do better telling you everything so you don't have to worry about it. Okay?" He asks as I nod.

"Clean slate?" I ask as he nods and kisses my forehead. "Clean slate" he whispers back rubbing my back in his palm.

"Look at us fixing our shit." He tells me making me smile.

"We'll get through it, Ry." He tells me as I nod into his chest. I know we will, because one thing this has taught me is to trust him, and I know I'm going to have to start that again, and really trust him.