** Early update because I'm going on vacation

It will lap and scratch

As I swallow it down;

And I shall feel it as a serpent of fire,

Coiling and twisting in my belly.

His snortings will rise to my head,

And I shall be hot, and laugh,

Forgetting that I have ever known a woman.

When the gala comes around, I pull up to the front of the convention center wearing a dress that looks slightly metallic with a rose gold color. It's short, but not too short. It's a dress that I'd wear to a fancy dinner with a client, or to a fancy event. I pair it with my strappy stilettos because I didn't want to go out and buy a new outfit for this event. I'm pretty sure that it's going to be an awful night anyway.

I did do my makeup, I even decided to color in my eyebrows. It's been over a week since I've gotten so dressed up and it feels nice. Even if I'm not going to be in the sex industry anymore, I think that I'll have to find reasons to go out and get dressed up because I really do enjoy it.

Once in the busy room where the gala is being held, I make sure that I have a Bluetooth in my ear just in case somebody is calling Harrison or needs to get ahold of him. I also have his schedule downloaded onto my phone, so I'm ready to go. At 8 o'clock, he has an hour cut out of his schedule to spend some time with his family which is cute and all, but I'm dreading that. I think that maybe, I'll take my break during that hour since he won't need anything from me while he spends time with his wife and Micah.

The first part of the night was a dinner but because Harrison didn't need me to keep him on schedule during that dinner, I decided to just come afterward and eat at home instead. I figured that it would be easier that way since Harrison most definitely ate at a table with Micah, and I'm going to spend most of this night trying to avoid him.

I'm getting into the large crowded room just as dinner has wrapped up, and I see Harrison still with his family by their table. I have to do my job, so I just suck it up and make my way over to them.

"Senator Williams," I get his attention, looking directly at Harrison without even looking over at Micah. I can tell that he's wearing a nice suit and I bet he looks so handsome in it. "You have five minutes until your discussion on natural resources with the chairman of the National Wildlife Federation."

"Good evening, Eleanor," Harrison greets me and then turns toward his wife and son. "Looks like I have to go suck up to important people now, but I'll meet back up with you guys later."

"Have fun. Good luck," His wife, who I remember is named Erin, kisses his cheek before we walk away from his family.

"Alright, this is Dr. Hernandez, right?" Harrison asks me while we're walking.

"Yes," I confirm as I'm checking my notes because I have done a bit of research on all of the people that he is speaking with tonight. "He doesn't think that you're doing enough to stop deforestation."

"Okay, this one is easy, we're starting the night off well," He tells me. When we get to Dr. Hernandez's table, he seems excited to be seeing Harrison approaching so that they can discuss the issues.

I can definitely see where Micah gets his charisma from because everybody obviously loves Harrison. He's just so friendly and easy to talk to. He just makes you feel like you matter, and that you are really important to him. I'm sure that it's how he won his campaign for senator in Oregon. But the difference between Harrison and most of the politicians is that it isn't just politics for him. I think that he really legitimately cares about all of these issues, and about the people who are affected by them.

I make sure that he stays on schedule and we walk through the busy gala talking to business owners, environmentalists, and activists. All of them have some specific issue that they want to talk to Harrison about, and he listens to all of them.

I'm so busy keeping Harrison on track that the night seems to fly by and 8 o'clock is quickly coming up. He needs to talk to one more group about a small oil spill that just occurred on the coast of Oregon and then it's time to go back to spend some time with his family.

"This is running really smoothly," Harrison tells me after the oil spill conversation is over. I feel my heart starting to jump into my throat, I'm getting really anxious about being near Micah for an entire hour. I haven't even spoken to him since last weekend and that run-in with him on Wednesday was completely awkward. This is just going to be uncomfortable and weird. "You're doing really great tonight, Eleanor."

"Thank you," I sigh and then decide to ask him if I can take a break while he's with his family. "I was thinking that since-"

"Senator Williams," Somebody interrupts me by stepping in front of our path through the gala. It's a congress woman from Ohio but I don't remember her name. "I heard about how successful Wilder's bill is becoming. Congratulations, it seems like an interesting bill. I'm excited to hear the debates."

"Thank you. Eleanor here had a lot to do with our successful week," He motions over to me. "She really blew everybody away at the meeting on Wednesday, so we've gotten a lot of important votes on our side. I'm sorry to be haste, but my wife and son are waiting for me by the bacon wrapped shrimp."

He says it like a joke, and it makes the woman laugh and nod in understanding before we're off to find Erin and Micah again. Just as he'd said, Micah is standing by the snack food and drinks bar but he's not with Erin. He's talking to Jay and ordering a drink from the open bar.

"Are you having a good time, Mic?" Harrison asks his son when we approach them.

Micah turns to his dad with his new dark colored drink in his hand. "Oh, yeah Dad. Loads of fun."

"Where's your mother?"

"I saw her talking to the first lady over by the DJ a while ago," Micah offers his father.

"Alright. I am going to go find Erin. Eleanor, will you stay here with Micah? I don't think that's his first drink," Harrison asks me and then before I can say anything, he's disappearing into the crowd. Like I said, he's a really nice man but how can he be so fucking oblivious?

I assumed that this would be really awkward and silent, but I was wrong. Immediately after Harrison is gone, Micah starts speaking.

"So, I have a question for you," He tells me as Jay is shaking his head.

"Nope, he doesn't," Jay tries to stop him. Micah's eyes are glazed over, so I'm believing Harrison's judgment when he said that Micah has had some to drink tonight.

"Yes I do," Micah insists before looking at me again. He lets out a quiet burp and then says, "How much would I owe you?"

"What?"

"If I hired you, instead of dated you, how much would I owe you right now?" He repeats his question. "Jay said that it was $2,500 a night for him. So that's, what? Maybe ten grand?"

"I'm not doing this," I tell him. I know that I messed up, and I feel awful about lying to him, but I think that I'm still entitled to my self-pride and self-respect. "You should stop drinking, get some water or something."

"I don't have ten grand," He ignores my question.

"It'd be more than that anyway," I snap at him. "It's 2,500 for the night, sure, but it's also 300 an hour, whether we were sleeping together or not. So every time that we hung out, went on dates, were talking over the phone, that's all 300 an hour. You wouldn't be able to afford me."

"How many guys were you with when we were together?" He asks me.

"Alright, man, I'm cutting you off," Jay decides as he grabs the glass that Micah has been drinking from. He puts it back on the bar and then asks the bartender for an ice water. "You're acting like an ass."

"No, I'm not," He argues against his friend. "I just want to know. I think that I deserve to know the answer to that question. I want to know how many times my girlfriend slept with another guy and then told me how much she cared about our relationship with his dick still on her breath. I want to know."

I do the best thing that I can think of, and I walk away from the situation. I know that Jay will look after Micah while I go find Harrison and when I find him talking with his wife near the wall of the large room, I walk up to him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," I begin. "But Micah has had a lot to drink. Do you want me to get him to sleep it off in the car or something?"

"He's drunk?" Erin looks incredibly surprised. "Has he ever even had alcohol before?"

"Yeah, he's had alcohol before, Erin," Harrison confirms with his wife. "He's 23, he just hasn't had anything to drink during the school year but he's had a lot going on. Would you mind just taking him home, Eleanor? You've been a great help tonight, you can head home after that."

I'm really no good at saying no to people, especially the person who signs my paycheck and so graciously gave me a job when I desperately needed one. So, I just nod and say, "Sure. No problem, you two have a good night."

When I find Micah and Jay again, he's still refusing to drink any water and actually has another alcoholic drink again.

"I'm taking you home," I inform him and then look at Jay. "Can you help me get him to the car?"

"Yeah, sure," He grips Micah's arm and I stand on the other side of him, wrapping my arm around his waist. I know that now is not the time to feel electrified by touching him, but I can't help it. I hold him tight and as a group of three people, we walk to the exit of the big gala room. We do so quietly as to not make a scene around so many high profile guests.

Once at my car, we're able to fold Micah into the passenger seat of my car. I thank Jay for his help before I start the car and I start to drive toward Micah's house.

It's quiet for a while but after some silence, Micah starts talking. I expect him to say something mean or judgmental about me being an escort, but he surprises me by saying, "You were right."

"What?"

"You were right," He says again. "You did try to tell me. You warned me so many times that you were trouble, that we shouldn't do this, but I didn't listen. And then you tried to tell me again, and I wouldn't listen. I thought that it was something like you robbed a bank, or you have a gambling problem, or that your in the mafia. You tried to tell me but I was too afraid to hear it. You wanted to find my flaw, here it is. I'm too afraid to face any sort of problems. When things don't seem to be perfect, I ignore it altogether."

"I really do love you, Micah," I tell him.

"I know," He responds in a slurred voice. "Did you like it?"

"Did I like what?"

"Being a prostitute. Sleeping with strangers."

"Before I met you, yeah, I liked it," I admit to him. There's no point in lying about it now. "I liked the attention, I liked feeling needed, I liked getting dressed up and being pampered. I liked the sex. When we started dating, that all changed though. It just made me feel disgusting all of the time. I was never with a client in the same night that I was with you."

"That helps," He sighs, closing his eyes now as he gets tired. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I can't stop picturing you with other guys. Every time that I think about it, I just keep imagining you with all of these other people while we were together and I... I don't like it. I know why you did it. You need to provide for your brother, I get that. I can't imagine what kind of pressure you've always been under to protect him. Logically, I understand that your brother's future, and his livelihood comes before our relationship. But I can't stop thinking about you with other guys."

"I'm sorry," I don't know what else to say to him but I wish that I could make this better for either one of us.

"How many guys were you with?"

"In total or just when we were dating?" I ask him. I hope that he isn't talking about altogether because I don't know the number. I might just make one up so that I seem less trashy than I feel.

"The second one," He sighs, opening his eyes to look at me while I'm driving.

"You really think that'll help?"

"I want to know," Micah insists, still slurring. "Do you even know how many it was?"

"Yes, I know how many," I mumble.

"Then tell me. We're already broken up, what's the worst that can happen?"

"I just don't want to hurt you any more than I already have," I explain to him.

"Is it more than twenty?" He asks me.

"No," I finally pull up to Micah's house and I start getting out of the car.

"I don't have my keys," He says as my seatbelt unbuckles.

"You what?" I nearly shout when he tells me that, because I just drove us all the way to his house just to find out that we don't have a way to get him inside.

"I left them in my dad's car," He shrugs at me and then says, "Oopsie."

"Is there a spare key?" I ask him hopefully. "Or an open window or something?"

He shakes his head. "Nope."

"What am I supposed to do?"

Again, he just shrugs. "Looks like we're having a sleepover at your place. What is it, $2,500? Do you have take coupons? Or how about a friends and family discount?"

"Stop it."

"Stop what?" He asks me stupidly as I start up the car again and we head to my apartment because I'm not seeing any other option here. I don't know how long the gala will last, so I don't want to just sit out here all night having to deal with Micah being such an asshole. At least, if I just get him back to my apartment, he'll pass out and stop talking.

"Just stop talking."

"I only got so drunk because of you," Micah accuses me.

"I didn't force you to drink."

"Well, I can't be around you sober," He informs me. "I feel like I'm going insane, like my heart is about to ooze out of my ears."

Maybe, if I don't respond, he'll just stop talking.

"That's a nice dress," He slurs, looking over at the metallic dress that I'm wearing. "Did you ever wear it for your customers?"

Losing my patience with him, I answer with, "Yes, I have. The last time that I wore this dress, I went to dinner with a millionaire who then paid me 20 grand to go Miami with him for a weekend. We fucked on the beach for two days straight and I came ten times. That was before I met you."

Micah scoffs at that and says, "I could make you come more than ten times in two days."

"I know that you could."

"Has anybody given you an orgasm since you met me? Other than me," He continues asking me questions as if he can find comfort in any of the answers that I give. I don't think that it helps anything but I know that he'll just keep asking until he gets an answer. I'm just hoping that he's so drunk tonight that he won't remember in the morning.

"No," I answer him honestly.

"You're the only person that I've met in this town that's real," He mutters under his breath, looking away from me and out the window. "You're so down to earth and you're the most beautiful person that I've ever seen. It's not a surprise that people spend a small fortune just to be with you for a few hours or days. I don't blame them. And I don't blame you for doing what it takes to make a life for you and Casey. But you lied about it."

"You-"

"I know that I told you that it was okay," He stops me from saying exactly that. "But I guess that I lied too—because it wasn't okay."

After that, he stops talking as his body slumps to the side. He seems to be going to sleep, which is good. I usually love talking to him, his symphony voice in my ears is like heaven. But now, he's so obviously disgusted by me and it makes me feel so awful that it takes the breath right out of my lungs. I feel so small and worthless and gross, like a useless whore. I've never felt bad about myself or my job before I met Micah. And sure, I felt guilty and disgusting when it was actually happening behind Micah's back.

But with all of his judgmental questions and his drunken glares tonight... I've never felt worse about myself than I do right now.

When I pull into the parking lot of my apartment complex, I feel too deflated to get out of the car right away. Because I was driving, I was able to keep the tears at bay but I let them out now. I'm sure that Micah is asleep beside me and if he's not, he'll probably forget this in the morning anyway.

I rest my forehead on the steering wheel in front of me and just let the tears out for a few minutes. I keep it quiet except for a few sniffles and I catch my tears with the back of my hand.

"I want the number," Micah tells me from the passenger side.

I don't even look over at him, I just keep my forehead on the steering wheel, which lets my hair fall around my face so that he can't see my teary face. I'm sure that he's heard my sniffles though. "Seven," I finally give him the number. "I was with seven other people during our relationship."

"That's more people than I've slept with in my entire life."

That just makes me start crying harder.

Quickly, I get over my wave of cries and sit back up. "Are you sleeping in here or are you coming inside?"

"I'm coming," He unbuckles his seatbelt but I have to open his door for him because he can't figure out the handle. After I've locked up the car, I have to help him up the stairs too, and then into my apartment. I should get some bonus points for being able to carry both of us up the stairs in my tall heels.

Once in the apartment, Micah steps away from me and he stumbles down the hallway into the bathroom. I slip off my heels in the living room and look in the reflection of the TV to see how bad my makeup is running. It's all smearing down my cheeks; I look like a very sad raccoon.

As Micah is in the bathroom, I text Harrison to explain to him what happened and that Micah is at my place so that he doesn't get worried when he gets home tonight and sees that his son isn't at home.

I have to make sure that he's not drowning in the toilet so after a while, I go back toward the bathroom and knock on the closed door. "Micah, what's going on?"

When he doesn't answer me, I hesitantly open the door. He's sitting on the edge of the tub and he looks fine. He isn't throwing up or looking sick, he just looks dizzy and tired.

"I want to forgive you," He mumbles to me. "I'm trying."

"Yeah, well don't try too hard. After tonight, I'm not so sure that I want your forgiveness," I inform him. "Get up, you can sleep in Casey's room. I'll get you some clothes that you left here for tomorrow, make sure that you take off your suit so that you don't ruin it."

"Yeah, this suit is expensive," He stands up on his own and I follow him into Casey's room to make sure that he doesn't fall or anything. "It could buy an hour of your time."

"No, it couldn't," I tell him as I'm grabbing some clothes from the bottom shelf of my dresser that he'd left here during our sleepovers. When I return to the bedroom, I add, "Even a whore like me has standards."

It's not an accurate insult because Sober Micah is way above my standards and so perfect in almost every way. I just want to hurt his feelings even a fraction of the amount that he's hurt mine tonight.

"If you throw up, you're cleaning it up," I add. "Goodnight."