A/N: Sorry in advance lol virtual hugs and kisses, enjoy!!

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June flew by quickly. I had agreed to sign with Jeff, and I had to fill out a bunch of contracts that I read over very, very carefully. I started working as soon as I could and submitted a bunch of songs to Jeff. Some were sent to other artists and others I kept for myself. July flew by just as quickly and I had spent it doing the same thing.

I had practically moved in with Harry. He was by my side at every recording he could be at and I did the same for him with his meetings for tour.

It was August now, my favorite month, and I'd been in and out of the studio since the beginning. I'd written so many songs and was even invited on different shows to do covers of other artists' songs.

It was all going amazing. Everything I wanted.

Harry was supposed to go on tour in a few weeks. I'd stopped being Jeff's assistant the moment he told me he wanted to sign me and that meant I could no longer go on tour with Harry, but I wasn't really worried. Our relationship had only strengthened, and we'd been together over half a year now. I'd never been happier.

I was at home now, my first day off in a while, and Harry asked if he could come over. I was waiting for him in my room, writing in my journal as I thought of more song ideas.

I heard the front door open, I'd given him a key a long time ago, and shot up excitedly. I hadn't seen him in days, and I missed him.

I smiled and stood up as he came in and wrapped my arms around him as soon as I could. He hesitated to wrap his arms around me, and I pulled back immediately. "What's wrong, sunshine?"

He visibly cringed, "Nothing. Let's just sit down, yeah?"

"Okay," I dragged out. "Hello to you, too. Haven't seen you in days. What's going on?" I ask as I sit on my bed.

He doesn't sit like he said, he's just standing in front of me with his hands in his pockets.

"Harry?"

He exhales deeply. "Okay, um. I think-" I watch his fists clench in his pockets. "You've been doing awesome, yeah? Your songs are doing amazing and everybody loves you." He starts pacing around my room slowly and I only grow more confused.

"Yeah, I guess?"

"Jeff just told me that they want you to tour." He blurts out.

My eyes bug and I stand up. "Really?! That's so exciting, are you serious?"

"Next year." He nods. "They want to get started on planning it with you as soon as possible."

"That's amazing!" This is good news. Why is he acting like it's not? "What wrong, then?" I ask him.

"I just...I don't want to hold you back. You've always wanted to travel the world and now you'll have the chance to do that. Without me. I want you to do that and I think maybe the distance isn't going to be good-"

"Wait." He pauses and I'm hesitant to say the words. "So that's what this is, then? You're breaking up with me?" I ask incredulously, afraid.

He doesn't argue it and my heart sinks.

"Well, don't think of it as breaking up. Just a break, yeah?" That's what he decides to say.

Don't fucking cry, Delilah.

"We're not on an episode of fucking Friends, Harry. Do you want to break up with me, yes or no? And for what? Because of a little distance?" I'm seething. "If you don't think, after everything we've talked about, that our relationship is strong enough for that, then that's your problem, not mine. But don't blame your decision on something that you encouraged me to go for in the first place."

He doesn't speak and I continue. I stopped being a doormat a long fucking time ago. "I'm not going to let you twist this on me and make me feel like I'm at fault for finally being happy doing what I want. You're making a mistake. And by the time you realize it, I'm telling you right now, it'll be too late."

He still doesn't speak. "You told me you'd never leave me. You told me you loved me. But you never lie, huh?"

His face falls and I can feel my tears threatening to come to the surface as I recall what he'd told me so many times before.

"I did love you. I do love-"

"No, you don't." I interrupt. "Love isn't what you say, it's what you do. And you don't do what you're doing right now to someone you love, Harry."

He looks like he's about to cry and it's going to make me cry. And that is not about to happen.

"I think you should go." I tell him. He nods and I want to scream at his lack of emotion towards the situation. He's not even fighting for us.

He walks towards the door and I look down at my feet, still holding back tears. I hear his footsteps stop and I wait for whatever he has to say.

"You haven't met all the people who are going to love you yet, honeybee." My heart cracks at the nickname. "The world is going to fall in love with you just as I did. You're going to get the chance to share your light. We're just at the point where if we stay close for too long, then we'll burn each other."

Don't cry. "You told me that would never happen." I argue.

"Sometimes the things we least expect to happen...just happen. It's inevitable." He says.

But he's wrong. This isn't inevitable. He's making this choice all on his own.

"A heart was made to be broken, right?" I say with a pathetic laugh. I'm quoting Wilde. It only seemed fitting. To end our relationship the way it started.

His eyes soften and the look he's giving me would usually make me melt. In the good way. But now I feel like I'm melting in the bad way. Like a motherfucking candle.

"Harry, you need to leave. Please." I nod towards the door.

"We can still be fr-"

"Don't you even finish that sentence. We can't be friends. You and I can never be friends, Harry. We were never meant to be friends." I tell him. And I know he agrees with me.

He takes a few steps towards the door and stops again. "Delilah, wait." He says before he's all the way out. Out of my door and my life.

My hopes are all the way up at his light tone.

"What word did you choose today?" He asks pathetically, and I can't help but scoff.

"Goodbye."

†

The second I had heard my front door close, I broke down. I let every single emotion I was feeling pour out and I don't know how long I'd been on the floor sobbing when Seb found me.

He didn't ask me what was wrong. He didn't ask anything. He just held me as I cried, and it was then that I thanked every single God for putting him in my life.

I'm glad he doesn't ask because I wouldn't know how to answer. I sound pathetic in every single scenario.

I close my eyes as I'm breathing heavily and my mind flashes back to the moments prior.

"Goodbye."

"Honeybee, I'm not try-"

"Don't call me that, Harry." I choke out.

I watch as his face falls a second time and I feel like my heart is being stabbed by a thousand swords.

"You're right. But I want you to know that I think this is for the best. I'm only trying to help you reach your fullest potential without me holding you back. I just- I can't be your sun anymore. I can't have you follow me everywhere." He tells me.

I know what he meant to say. He meant it in the way I had told him long ago. That he was the sun, golden and shining on everyone, leaving a lasting impact even if his presence was only temporary. And how I'd once told him I'd follow him anywhere for that very reason. But the way it comes across feels like a slap in the face. It makes me feel like shit. Like if I was a burden on him for the entirety of our relationship.

His eyes widen and he takes a step towards me. "No! Wait, no, that's not what I-"

"Right." I nod firmly, still fighting tears. "You've made your point, then. You should go now. Don't want to keep you any longer. Good luck on tour." I give him a tight smile, still processing what the fuck is happening.

He shakes his head. "I have never stopped loving you. And don't think for a second that I ever could. This year has been the best year of my life and it's because of you. You're going to be the greatest thing the world has ever seen. That's all I want for you. Please understand that."

But I don't understand it. I don't think I ever will.

"I can't understand that, Harry. But if you feel like this is what needs to happen, then we're going to do it. I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who wants to run away. Or who wants me to run away." I shake my head. "Either way, this is clearly what needs to happen for you. I'm glad you're telling me. All I've ever asked of you is the truth."

I take a step towards him. "I want to say something, though." He nods. "When we first met, I knew we weren't going to stay friends for long. I didn't know what we were going to be, but I knew it was anything but that. For the first time, I finally felt like I could experience a love like my parents had. And that's exactly what you gave me. I don't think I'll ever understand why you're doing this to us. Not entirely. But what I do know, is that you showed me what it was like to be in love. Unequivocally, hopelessly, deeply in love. And that is something that I'm forever going to be grateful for." I take a deep breath, watching as tears fall from his eyes. "I don't want this to be goodbye. Those are the last words I would ever have expected us to say to each other. But we can't be friends, Harry. Not when you're not mine and I'm not yours. Because we were never meant to be anything other than that."

He only walks closer to me and bends to press a soft kiss on my cheek, leaving the spot burning. The exact same way he said goodbye on the night we met.

And that was when I let the first tear fall.

"I love you, Delilah. For all eternity."

He left after those last words.

Seb was cradling me and finally, my sobs quieted down.

"D," Seb starts hesitantly. "What happened, babe?"

"Harry broke up with me," I muttered pathetically, saying the few words out loud for the first time. But that's all I had to say before Seb turned red.

I feel him move back from me, "That's not funny. What the fuck are you talking about?" His tone sounds like he's going to kill someone. I've never heard him talk like that.

"He broke up with me. He said he wanted me to travel and live life and be successful without him holding me back." I laugh sadly, " I didn't even think he was holding me back, but he must've imagined some fucking invisible string or something." Everything hurts and I want to stop feeling it.

But before I can find out if I've run dry of tears, Seb shoots up and his fists are clenched.

"I'm going to fucking kill him. I'll be right back." That's all Seb says before he walks out, slamming the door behind him, and leaving me on the floor where he'd found me.

I see red. That's all I see. I'm going to kill that handsome motherfucker. I'm on the way to his house now, I'd been over plenty of times already, and I was going to kill him.

I don't care how popular you are or how attractive you are. If you hurt Delilah, I'm going to hurt you.

I get out of my car quickly and slam my car door. I was mumbling obscenities while I walked to his door and knocked, and didn't stop even when he opened it. He raised his eyebrows at my presence.

"What the fuck is your problem, Harry? Huh?" I poke his chest, shoving us into his own house and closing the door behind me.

"She told you." His emotion is stoic. I want to punch it off his stupid face.

"Yeah, she did. What the fuck is wrong with you? What was all that talk about saying you're going to marry her? And how you were so in love with her? You don't do that to someone you love, asshole." I poke his chest again. "What, was this some stupid game? Get the girl to fall in love with you and then break her heart? You're a piece of shit and if you think I'm going to let you do this to her without facing consequences, then you're out of your fucking mind." I'm out of breath when I finish. He looks scared of me, though, so I feel pretty proud.

"I-I would never do that. Don't fucking say something like that again, Sebastian. Delilah is every fucking thing in this world and the next. That's why I did it. She needs to be able to go as far as she possibly can without me holding her back. Did she tell you she's supposed to go on tour next year?" My lips part in shock. "Yeah, exactly. And do you know what's going to come after that? More tours. She's going to be presented with opportunities around the globe and she won't take them if she has me here. I know her." He pauses. "You know I'm right."

And, yeah, I kind of understand him. But I shake my head, "Even if I agree with you, there had to have been a better way to go about it that didn't leave her sobbing on the fucking floor for who knows how long until I found her." And, I'm angry again.

"You found her like that? Just now?" He asks with a concerned tone.

"Yeah." I say slowly.

He curses under his breath. "I left your apartment almost three hours ago." He looks like he's in pain when he says it.

Good.

But I keep my voice calm. "Listen to me, Harry. I never thought I'd be able to see her shine this brightly. D has changed so much while she's known you and I'll forever be indebted to you for that. But you're making the biggest mistake of your life. The two of you have something that most people search their entire lives for and never find. Delilah is the best person I know, and it wont be long until someone else realizes that and you'll lose her forever."

I know I'm right. That was a damn good speech.

He goes to open his mouth but a voice behind him interrupts him. "Harold?"

I look behind him and see a way older man and, no fucking way, Ilanna Crowe is not in this fucking house right now.

So, I look back to Harry and I do the only reasonable thing that a person in my shoes would do.

I punch him.

†

Seb had been gone a while. I had removed myself from the floor a few minutes after he left and took a cold shower. I was in there a long time, trapped with my thoughts.

Harry told me he wants me to travel the world. But I don't think there's anything left of him for me to explore.

So I broke down again. I let myself cry until I thought I couldn't anymore and when I got out of the shower, I saw the toothbrush Harry had kept here resting next to mine. His was yellow and mine was peach and I broke down crying all over again. That memory was one of my most cherished ones.

So, that led to me laying on my bed in a towel and thinking about all my favorite memories with him. The night we met when I found out he read Wilde, the bookstore, the Beachwood Café. When I took him to my spot, the spot I knew I'd no longer be able to enjoy without thinking about him. When he took me to London. London. My most favorite place. Where I fell in love with him. I thought about his sister and mom, two of the best people I'd known. I thought about Sarah and how I truly hoped this didn't mean losing her, too. I thought about the honeybees he'd taken me to and Little Venice, where we said we loved each other for the first time. Where a lot of other things happened for the first time.

But now, all those memories were tarnished. Tarnished by how dark this day was, completely contrasting the entirety of our relationship. We were bright and shining and so, so, so golden. Together. That was all I'd ever wanted. To feel like I could shine. He helped me with that. And right now, it felt like he snatched it all away.

I was broken out of my thoughts by the sound of the front door opening. Seb was finally home. I changed quickly and was about to walk out, when he burst through my door, completely out of breath.

"I may or may not have given Harry Styles a black eye."

My eyes widen. "What?!"

"Yeah, I went to his house and punched him. You don't need to know all the details, but yeah. And I'd do it again." He shrugs.

A part of me was concerned for Harry but the other part of me, the part wanting to hug Seb, took over. I couldn't help but jump on him and laugh sadly into his neck. "I love you so much, Seb."

"I love you, D. You're going to be okay."

And I really, really wanted to believe him.

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Song: pov by Ariana Grande

A/N: I wanted to put this song because Delilah wants to trust and love herself the way she felt trusted and loved by others yk.

Lol don't hate me pls🤪

Love ya!

-J :)