Alexs POV

Flight or flight?

There's a very important third one: freeze.

A reaction to a scenario that is threatening to you and/or others.

A 'what would you do' to the extreme.

If you're thrown into danger, how would you respond?

Will you fight until it's no longer a danger?

Will you run away from the problem and hope it doesn't follow you?

Or will you freeze completely, your body sitting down waiting for whatever comes next.

Some scenarios have specific reactions that would work best with them. But we don't always get to choose how we react. Most of the time it's an instinct; involuntary actions - or lack there of - and we just have to accept the consequences.

And that's where we find me.

Currently glued to my spot, all functions in my body turned off. I might as well be a wax figure.

And this is odd for me.

You see, most of the time, our body is going to react the same way. If you run once it's likely you'll run again and again and again. Same for fight or freeze.

Normally I'm a fighter. Only one other time did I freeze like this.. and it wasn't pretty.

I guess, under these circumstances, my body forgot that detail. Also; see an avengers fight. Any of them.

"Well? Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Tony spits again, crossing his arms as he takes a few steps forward, I assume in an attempt to intimidate me.

However, my body is already confused on what to do, so it's pointless.

Now he's shaking his head, "I guess we should have known, right? All of this was staged? Pretended to care about what happened to this community. Pretended like you wanted us all to help and make a difference. Pretended to be our friend." He looks over to Wanda, "pretended to care or even love some of us."

And that does it. Once he brings Wanda into this, it snaps whatever was keeping me in place. I look at Wanda and all I can see is the hurt, the worry that what he said was true.

Fuck Tony.

I'm fixing things with my girlfriend first.

I turn my full attention to her, "Wanda, that's not true. I love you, you know that. Whatever Tony is talking about is utter bullshit."

Tears are starting to form, bringing up some of my own. I'm worried for what this could all mean.

"How do I now that?" She whispers.

"Because I've shown you! I've shown you more of myself than anyone else. You.. you're my person, Wanda. You're the only light in my life. Why would I risk putting that out?" I'm begging her to hear me. To truly hear me. To know I'm telling the truth. To believe me. Like she usually does.

I hear a scoff, momentarily dragging my attention away from Wanda, "please. You want us all to believe that horse shit? We aren't 5, Alex. And unfortunately for you, we've seen your true colors. You can't hide anymore."

I don't like what he's insinuating. Every worry I had about the avengers finding out who I am is starting to bubble to the surface, threatening to pop at any moment.

"I.. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not.. I haven't done.."

"Bullshit! I don't want to hear anything but a confession out of you. At this point I don't think any of us can listen to anymore lies."

I take a look at Wanda who is still looking like I had just cut her heart out and fed it to the wolves. I guess I wasn't convincing enough. Yet.

"I am telling the truth! Maybe I didn't tell you about my powers, but I don't see why I had to! It's really none of your business and it's not something that's necessary for you to know. Just because you're an avenger doesn't mean you get to know everything!"

As soon as my little rant is out, I know I've said the wrong things. Nailed my own coffin shut.

The air has been sucked out of the room. Sweat finding it's way down my back as I feel the immense pressure of the situation. Still a little woozy from all the teleporting.

"Well, that's convenient. Isn't it?" Clint says, stepping forward from his spot by Natasha. "I think we all need a better explanation."

"What.." I'm so confused. "I- I didn't want to be an avenger. I didn't want to be used or controlled. I figured if you knew about my powers, you'd only want to use me for your own selfish agenda, just like everyone else."

Someone laughs. Actually laughs. It's Tony.

"I'm sorry." More laughter, "actually, no. I'm not. That's funny. You .. you expect us to believe that?"

I furrow my brows, "what? Why wouldn't you? That's the truth." And I swear on my life that it is.

"Yeah, well. I don't believe you," all the humor is gone from his voice now.

I turn to Wanda once again looking for some semblance of safety.

I find none.

Her eyes have gone red.

And I get an idea, "read my mind. Then you'll know for sure, right?" I'm desperate. I know I'm losing this battle. Even though I'm not sure what I'm really fighting for or against here.

She shakes her head, "it's too late for that. How do I know you won't just show me something else? Another lie? I shouldn't even have to."

I'm broken. I thought my body shut down before, but now it's all going into hyperdrive. My heart is beating to the speed of a hummingbirds wings. My lungs trying to fight for the air to come back into the room. Sweat is forming in places it has no right to.

Is it unnecessarily hot in here?

Without a word from me, she continues with her berating, "Please. Do explain to me how you've been a pawn for hydra this whole time and didn't think that was something that could ruin our relationship!"

Now it's my turn to go silent, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

I'm really lost for words right now.

I am beyond confused.

What the hell is she talking about? Where is this even coming from?

"What.. what are you talking about?" Like I said, this is coming from left field.

"Please. Don't play dumb with me now, okay? Save me from that, at least."

"I don't know what you're talking about! I've already explained.." I'm cut off.

"I'm not stupid, Alex. I can piece it all together and the picture it's creating isn't a pretty one."

"Please tell me what this so called picture is that you're painting because I don't see it." We're fighting like no one else is here. They don't matter.

"Oh, you don't see it? You were at the first fire that I was caught in. You some how were fine walking through all of that without being touched. You try to push me away! All of the clues Fury got were right there and somehow you were able to slip past us each time!"

Her voice gets higher as she continues to yell like she's placing the pieces together along the way and it's only getting more and more clear.

"That's not at all.."

"And you just happened to be at this fire? In the middle of no where? Where we get called out to?"

"Again, as I've been trying to explain.."

"Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. The last fire we went to. The one we were too late to find anything. That was you! That's why you were late to work! That's why you felt so guilty about losing that victim. Because you really could have prevented it. Although I'm surprised you have a heart to care at all."

.

.

.

My mind is blank.

I..

The fire is put out in me.. And the smoke from it is trying to suffocate me now, choking off any words I could form.

She really thinks that? That I'm some horrible monster set out to destroy people? That these powers I have, I've only used to destroy?

After everything we've already gone through.. I really didn't expect her to be the one to see me like that.

She's the one that's helped me realize there's so much more to life than the way I was living. She was the sun breaking through the clouds to give my life the light I so desperately needed.

But I guess along the way I forgot that the sun is really just a ball of flames constantly burning. And if you get too close, it'll burn you with it.

"Wanda, I.." what am I even suppose to say? She seems to have her mind made up about me. And the way she's staring daggers at me makes me feel like it doesn't matter what I say.

I'm the monster I've tried so hard not to be. Because that's what she sees me as. And hers is the only opinion I care about. So if she's sees a monster, then I must be.

She sees the destruction, not the rebuild.

So what's the point of fighting?

I look around at everyone, and every person that can, looks like they're ready to pounce on me. I know enough to see when I've lost.

"Is that truly how you feel?" I whisper. I don't know if she heard me over the shuffling of people and the beeping or if she just doesn't want to talk to me anymore.

She finally speaks, "yes. It is. I was stupid for thinking the cold hearted bitch I met at the fire house that first day was a front for anything else. You showed me your true colors that day. I was an idiot for letting myself be blind to it."

Damn. And that's it. That last knife to my lungs, deflating any air I had left in them, any fight I had left in me.

But I refuse to break in front of her. I'm not letting her see me vulnerable anymore. I did that once. And I guess that was a mistake.

I knew I should never have let anyone see this much of me.

I only have myself to blame.

I don't dare to speak, so I just nod my head for a moment.

"That's all you've got? Nothing to say?"

And that does it.

That reignites the fire in me that had been put out a long time ago. One that only she knew how to light. The one that kept me going back to her. To egg her on one more time, to tease her that much more. To build that anger up until it combust.

And I let it out.

"Damn it all Wanda, what do you want me to say?! Huh? You clearly already made up your mind about me. You think I'm a monster. That I don't have a heart. That I wanted to lose someone in a fire. What else is there to say?"

This stuns her into silence.

Finally.

I can't hear her say anything else.

"Maybe it's a good thing you didn't move anything into my house," I speak quietly, hating every word.

"What?" She breathes out. And I might have seen a flash of pain cross her features. But maybe not. I am heartless, after all.

"Maybe it was all a mistake."

"What was a mistake?"

"Everything. Us." The words are sandpaper to my throat. Because, no. It's not. I want this. I want us. I don't want to say it.

"No.."

"It's clear you don't want this either. At least we found out before we got too deep."

I'm deep. I'm on the bottom of the ocean. It's where I'll stay as I'm ripping my own damn heart out right now. But it's better than her doing it.

"Alex.. no, I don't.."

I swallow harshly, "I guess it was great while it lasted, huh?"

"Alex! Don't do this, I.."

"It's okay, Wanda. It's better, right? Now we don't have to act like we like each other?" Why am I still talking? Someone shut me the fuck up.

Out of the corner of my eyes I can see everyone slowly start to move towards me.

"No. You don't mean that. You don't.."

"I do. It was a mistake, right?"

I see it. Where I cut her. The red is darker then the night sky as it comes pouring out. It's deep. Probably fatal.

I can't stick around to see what they might do to me next. Or hear what she might say next. I can't watch her break. Or if she doesn't break. I can't be here.

So, I leave.