just loneliness

"What? Lost interest already." Taehyung laughed when he saw Jeongguk gape looking at him. The expression on his face showing nothing but surprise.

"I didn't lose interest in you. No! I was just wondering how do you manage to look this young and beautiful as if you were in your early twenties. Wait a minute..." Jeongguk trailed off― his eyes widened, a new question arose in his mind,"Did you lie about your age? Like to get rid of me?"

"I am really thirty seven, Mr. Jeon." Taehyung with a serious tone said and Jeongguk just smiled that made Taehyung to raise his brows in amusement― surprised at how Jeongguk still stood there, how he didn't run away because of his age.

This wasn't the first time, someone approached Taehyung in the middle of nowhere but every single one would just walk away when he would talk about his age. He was okay with it whenever it was someone annoying but sometimes he got frustrated too.

"Okay, only two questions..." Jeongguk stopped for a moment, all nervous because he doesn't know if it is appropriate to ask it already, he rubbed both his hands together before taking a deep breath and finally asking, "Are you interested in boys and are you single?"

"I divorced my husband four years ago." Taehyung answered both the questions in a single sentence and Jeongguk was quite impressed. But the problem was, the younger was already impressed― the older wasn't even that close to being impressed as it was getting awkward for him.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have asked that already but I just wanted to know if all this is worth it or not. Like... it would have been futile if you weren't gay or already married." Jeongguk says, his eyes lowered and he stared at the ground, when he saw the older looking at him― an expression that the younger couldn't just figure out.

"Uhm, you know what.... I am sorry. Whatever I did was so immature. I just wasted your time." Jeongguk bowed and was about to walk away when it was Taehyung's turn to call his name.

Jeongguk quickly turned around, his heart beat rate just doubled and ran back to the writer who laughed, "You really don't have any problem with me being what... like thirteen years older than you. You are still interested in me? How?"

"Age is just a number and time, is relative." Jeongguk smiled― his smile was so genuine and sweet that Taehyung couldn't help smiling back.

"Still, you are young and handsome." Taehyung says with a smile, "You deserve someone who is young and beautiful. Someone like you."

"You are young and beautiful." that was the moment when Taehyung's heart melted and he felt loved― after so long.

"Goodbye then." Taehyung said as he didn't want to feel anything because of someone he just met and it's hardly been ten minutes. That was something irrational to him, something that didn't sound quite right.

"So, you really don't believe me? Give me a chance. I will give you the best of me." Jeongguk tried to stop Taehyung who was already making his way to his car― wanting to get away from this place, from Jeongguk.

"Please Taehyung." Jeongguk shouted from his spot, not moving an inch as he didn't want to make the other uncomfortable and even didn't want to act like an annoying dick.

Jeongguk just stood there and stared at Taehyung's disappearing body as he exited the park, "Goodbye then."

I can easily know where he lives or where he goes― Jeongguk thought to himself, "But should I?"

"If he is really the one, then we will meet again. We definitely will." Jeongguk comforted himself and smiled before looking up, the rays of sunshine falling on his face giving him the warmth he needed.

He had a family unlike Taehyung but still he was lonely. Like the older.

❦

Taehyung stared at beautiful moon as it stared just right back at him. The moon light radiating through the atmosphere and fell on his face giving it an ethereal glow. But who was there to admire his beauty other than the sky and his void room? Who was there to complement him? There was no one.

Tears formed at the corner of his eyes and before he could wipe them, they started rolling down his cheeks. Four years of loneliness was something that was slowly making him crave for some love but he already convinced himself that there is probably no one who would accept him for who he is, who would love him.

Whenever someone liked him and approached him, the fact that he was a divorcee just created a misconception that maybe he wasn't good enough that his husband had to leave him which was in now way the truth. They divorced each other in mutual terms.

But he doesn't know that they actually were the ones who missed the chance to be with someone like him. He had no clue that someone was coming into his life to give him all that love he missed out, just patience is what Taehyung needs to have.

The fat tears were wiped away by his own hands but maybe tonight he couldn't just keep the pain of loneliness to himself anymore, maybe tonight he couldn't keep it in as another batch of tears rushed down. Even the moon and the stars wanted to travel down to wipe them away if they could.

Taehyung again wiped them away and this time decided to smile at nothing in particular just to stop his tears and like always, it did work and he managed to calm himself down.

"Whoever will get the Jeongguk guy is lucky. He will love him or her so much. May he get the best partner." Taehyung wished genuinely and smiled again before walking to his bed where he left his laptop open as he was working on the last part of the book that he has been working on from so long.

Just some last chapters and the book he was writing from the last three years will finally get completed. But he needed to hurry too cause he already contacted the publication house.

But Taehyung's eyes gave up as he couldn't just keep them open. He was tired after being busy all day and now all he wanted is just some hours of peaceful sleep. He quickly shut his laptop off and placed it beside him where his husband used to sleep.

Now it's empty. No one there. It's just him and his loneliness.

❦

are you guys enjoying this??

ily uwu

- mehrin ♡