Lately, Taka has been unsure of his emotions. He who always had control over them,can't understand the butterflies in his stomach or the beats his heart skips. And what's weirder is that all those stuff happen when he looks at his best friend,Toru.

Wasn't he straight to begin with? Or did Toru dig feelings in him he didn't know they existed? The vocalist glanced at Toru again and his breath was locked in his lungs;the guitarist was throwing his head back with laughter.

That sight molded Taka's stomach and pushed his heart to run a marathon. Toru was so beautiful,he was kind and helped Taka,was that why he fell for him? Is he allowed to admit his feelings? All those doubts were driving the little man crazy,he shook his head in an attempt to throw them out which Toru noticed causing him to edge closer to the vocalist. "Are you alright Taka?" Toru asked concern lacing his words.

"I'm fine" the other man finally answered after the long search for his words "If you're tired then just go and rest" Toru uttered ruffling Taka's hair before heading back to his work. Just then,Taka fought a losing battle with a blush that took over his entire features.

Ah,I'm in trouble

Not being capable of holding all of his emotions in anymore,Taka packed up his unfinished lyrics and retired for the day. Back at home, Taka layed in his bed staring at the white ceiling. Somehow its pure blankness helped with his jammed mind.

He started categorizing his thoughts contemplating the possibilities and choices. He considered confessing as an option however the potential of harming the band held him back,he then decided to let go,but it was too hard.

"Uuugh what am I supposed to do?!"screamed Taka into his empty house gesticulating his hands in defeat,the hands he wished Toru would catch. He wished he'd embrace him,he wished he'd return his love and end his misery but, the real world wasn't peppered with pink and candy.

Some days passed and Taka's confusion lingered,he also lost control of his growing feelings for the guitarist. Terribly scared though he was, Taka finally made up his mind to tell Tomoya and Ryota for he needed any source of recourse. Besides,those two were married and had some experience that might pull the vocalist from his box.

The instant Taka said that he needed his friends,they hung up the call and made their way to his apartment. Nonetheless,he was pretty sure they had no idea what the help he needed was,moreover it will shock them for sure,but the two were good friends so they won't be mad at him. That's what he hoped for at least.

"MORI-CHAN ARE YOU OK?!" Ryota shouted the moment the door burst open "yeah yeah I'm fine don't panic" "T-then what happened?! You seemed so urgent!" "Why don't you sit down fir-" "No!" Taka's sentence was cut short by the drummer who had anxiousness squirming in his eyes.

"Well...I'm...I'm in love with Toru." The vocalist almost heard dramatic music in the background seeing his friends' reactions "T-toru? Toru our leader?" "Yes,Yamashita Toru himself"

After the nuclear bomb Taka threw at their faces,he took pity on their minds and led them to his living room "would you like to eat something? Or a drink?" "Sit down." The man obeyed his elder's words watching Ryota's lips quiver open.

"T-toru? But Mori-chan...we all know that he's straight" "I know" Taka said quietly his mind wandering back to the time when his friend announced his straight orientation to the world,his friend's famous "homo janai" still echoed in his mind. No matter how much he tried to cast it out,it still stubbornly clung to the back of his mind reminding him that his dream would never become true,that his love will always be unrequited.

_Taka-chan if you love him so much,why didn't you confess? He might consider your feelings....or stop misleading you.

_I'm scared Tomoya. I'm scared it'll harm the band,it might ruin our relationship,I might lose him forever

_you see,Mori-chan, as his childhood friend,I can assure you that Toru isn't the type of person who would mix his personal life with his career. And he won't ruin your relationship because of a confession if you're willing to get over it. I mean,time heals pain right?

_that's not helping me at all Ryota.

Another period of silence sprouted,no matter how much the three tried to break it,it still evidently forced its dominance. After a while that seemed an eternity, Ryota cleared his throat and reopened the conversation,"Mori-chan,just go and confess. Just do it. I was so scared too before confessing to Michelle you know" the bassist chuckled after nostalgia bloomed inside him.

"But you're normal Ryota,while I'm-" "there's nothing called normal or something called weird Mori-chan. It's alright to be gay,it's alright to fall in love,it's fine to want to be loved back. Even if everything goes wrong,we'll stay right here by your side. Right Tomo-kun?" "Mhm!"

The tension in the air eased,smiles painted the faces and the three bandmates chattered. At the end of the day,Taka decided to confess like how girls used to confess to him in highschool,he decided to write a love letter for the guitarist.

Paper after paper was crumbled,pens were broken,thoughts were stretched to further extent than needed. Taka follwed the same pattern for days before he was satisfied with the letter he composed. He even wrote in the neatest handwriting he could muster and scribbled some cute sketches before placing a light kiss on the sheet of paper;the mere sheet of paper that held his years old affection.

The lovestricken man slipped the confession into his workbag then he in turn slipped into his subconscious viewing his happy future with his crush,Yamashita Toru.

The next day after the rehearsals, Toru marched over to his guitar to pack up when he spotted a certain baby blue envelop lying in peace on top. The blonde guitarist unfastened the paper and pulled out the letter inside....and saw its content.

To be continued..